Don't know what to do about work (SH) [Archive] - Page 2

UncleChip

24-07-18, 02:34 PM

I tried calling yesterday and today, and both times heard a recorded message about faulty goods or debt advice, and that all other services should be dealt with online.
So I tried looking at the website today, but I don't feel like I can select the correct option.

I've also got a bad headache and I feel dizzy. I've had a couple of paracetamol and an ibuprofen, but so far they haven't helped. I don't feel like taking any more just yet.

Paula

24-07-18, 06:04 PM

I used to work for Citizens Advice and used the website for every client I spoke with. I know it can seem daunting for anything like this but it is a very user friendly website. If you really, really can’t, and please try, then you’ll need to go there in person

UncleChip

24-07-18, 10:00 PM

I'll try again in the morning when my head might be clearer.

Suzi

24-07-18, 11:16 PM

I'm glad you're trying to get help...

UncleChip

26-07-18, 02:42 PM

I finally found a way to email in with my specific issue, rather than the variety of options which mostly apply after losing a job.
The response is a lot to take in, so I'll probably print it out and try to go over it with a highlighter pen so I can pick out the useful details without going dizzy looking through all of the blocks of text repeatedly.

Suzi

26-07-18, 06:14 PM

I think you should make that a priority....Have you seen your Dr yet and told them how you are feeling?

Paula

26-07-18, 06:32 PM

Well done for getting through

UncleChip

26-07-18, 10:26 PM

I think you should make that a priority....Have you seen your Dr yet and told them how you are feeling?
I've been trying to phone before 9am, but it's the same as before; I can't get through until after 9am, by which time I'm told I'm too late to get a same-day appointment.
But I'm off work all next week, so I can let my guard down for 9 whole days.

Suzi

26-07-18, 10:50 PM

Then go to your surgery and wait for them to release appointments. You have to explain that it's imperative you see a Dr after what happened last weekend....

UncleChip

27-07-18, 10:41 PM

I'll go in on Monday morning when the surgery re-opens.

Suzi

28-07-18, 11:54 AM

Good! I'm really glad.

UncleChip

07-08-18, 10:49 AM

I told my wife about the co-codamol last night at the insistence of my GP.
At first she asked questions like "What did you think that would accomplish?", but started to be more caring when she realised that piling more pressure on me would only make me feel worse.

I've only been back at work a couple of days but I just want to curl up in a dark corner. I was off last week, but I got an email from my line manager on Thursday asking about the progress of some instructions which I was never given, so I made a start on them yesterday afternoon.

There's a shed-load of equipment missing - none of it with serial numbers, so it's not on the records - but I'll get the blame for that even though it went missing during the move between premises, which was handled by a contractor. I can and will tell them that, but I'll still have to answer for it even though I wasn't even involved in organising anything.

After calling citizen's advice, I've got an appointment through for Wednesday next week.

Suzi

07-08-18, 12:41 PM

Glad you've got an appointment with the CAB and I'm even more pleased that you told your wife - tbh I assumed you had as it was an overnight stay in hospital... Where did she think you'd gone?

UncleChip

07-08-18, 09:54 PM

I told my wife the hospital visit was for a bout of food poisoning. I didn't think I could tell her the truth at the time and she knows my cooking is usually very bad.

Suzi

07-08-18, 10:33 PM

Sweetheart your relationship with your wife seems very hard to me. I talk nearly everything over with Marc and we try to work as a team at everything. We both have our strengths and weaknesses, but our marriage is a partnership.

Do you not eat with the rest of the family?

Paula

07-08-18, 11:36 PM

A marriage is supposed to be a partnership - you should be sharing everything, good or bad. How is she going to feel when she finds out (which she eventually will) that you’ve kept someth8ng so important from her?

UncleChip

08-08-18, 07:37 PM

We eat together in the evenings, but I don't think I should talk about my depression and coping methods in front of our children. And I didn't want her to worry. But she knows now.

I've found someone at work, above me but below my manager, who agrees that some of the tasks I'm being given to do as "high priority" are relatively menial compared to the tasks which impact functionality.
I'll tell my manager in the morning. I've been emailing him the last 2 days, but gotten no replies, not even to the request for time off for my appointment next week.

Suzi

08-08-18, 10:14 PM

But didn't she question why you said you had food poisoning and no one else did?

I would suggest that rather you saying x said this, that and the other that x goes and tells your manager themselves rather than it looking like you have been talking about it all behind your managers back!

UncleChip

09-08-18, 02:08 PM

The excuse about food poisoning involved the sandwich I had made at home and eaten at work for lunch.

I'll try emailing my manager again. One of his complaints is that I don't communicate effectively with the rest of the team.

Suzi

09-08-18, 09:52 PM

I'd email him in and bcc your union rep and then you're covered.
How are you feeling?

UncleChip

10-08-18, 09:38 PM

I'm still feeling overwhelmed. The decision about my (dis)continued employment will be a week on Tuesday, so I'll keep working hard until then.
Not to impress my line manager - nothing I do will accomplish that - but so as not to inconvenience my work friends.

Suzi

10-08-18, 11:04 PM

Are you keeping your Union Rep in the picture with everything that's going on...

UncleChip

11-08-18, 07:17 AM

I've been CCing her into all the emails, so hopefully she's got all she needs to know.

Paula

11-08-18, 08:14 AM

Can you try to relax this weekend?

UncleChip

11-08-18, 06:42 PM

It's been an easier weekend than most so far, but I have a little extra work to do after church tomorrow because I'll be on holiday next week, so they need 2 week's of newsletters writing instead of the usual one. I'll wait until the kids go to bed so I can concentrate on it.

Suzi

11-08-18, 11:04 PM

Where are you going on holiday? You, your wife and children?

UncleChip

12-08-18, 09:37 PM

We've got a weekend in York, then a few days in Chessington. There's not much rest involved until we get to the evenings, but at least I don't have to wash up.
Although that's not much of a problem these days as the Beta Blockers seem to be helping me with my focus issues.

I've even been able to get some of my fan-game programmed, but it's a work in progress still.
http://fx.barcodebattler.co.uk/pokVR/
If I can tidy up and add comments to the code, it might land me a job.

Paula

12-08-18, 10:08 PM

That’s great that the meds are helping

Suzi

12-08-18, 10:25 PM

I'm glad the meds are helping!

UncleChip

15-08-18, 07:10 PM

I've had a meeting with someone from a depression advice team, and after filling in some electronic surveys I noticed words to the effect of "Patient requires supervision" (I couldn't memorise it fast enough, it was on screen for barely a second).
She's recommended some support groups for me to attend and has given me some details.

At home, my wife has been arranging for me to start driving again. I'm a bit nervous about it, but if it makes me more employable I'm all for it.

Suzi

15-08-18, 08:56 PM

Was this via work?

Paula

15-08-18, 09:55 PM

Why did you stop driving, can I ask?

UncleChip

15-08-18, 10:40 PM

It was via my GP.

Initially I stopped driving after passing my test because I didn't have the money to buy a car, but as the years passed I lost the confidence I'd gained after passing my test. Which wasn't much - the examiner commented it was the worst pass he'd seen.

CaterpillarGirl

16-08-18, 08:45 AM

My test was so bad the examiner stopped me halfway through and we had to walk back to the teacher at centre, I'd love to be able to drive I think it opens up a whole new world, I really hope you find the confidence to get back to it but I'd not you can still do great things without it :) my dad never learnt to drive and he's 64 now

Suzi

16-08-18, 10:06 AM

Why not do something like the pass plus course or similar? It'll get you back driving with an instructor and build your confidence..

Paula

16-08-18, 01:06 PM

A worse pass is still a pass, lovely

UncleChip

16-08-18, 06:23 PM

It's funny - I kept having an argument with my wife over which pedal was the accelerator and which was the clutch. She'd say the accelerator is on the left, but I said I'm not sure; the brake is definitely in the middle, but the accelerator might be on either side, I just couldn't remember from my lessons.

Then we checked the owner's manual for the car (the previous owner has parked it in my garden) and the accelerator is apparently on the right.

I'll probably just use it for getting to work and back each day until I get confident with it; it's less than 2 miles each way.

magie06

16-08-18, 07:41 PM

The first lesson I was given was to remember ABC. Starting from the drivers door, accelerator, break an clutch. It's something that is easy to remember and I've never forgotten.

UncleChip

16-08-18, 09:27 PM

I remember having a similar lesson, but after 14 years I couldn't remember if ABC started from the midline of the car or from the door.

Suzi

16-08-18, 10:33 PM

It'll all come back to you...

Paula

17-08-18, 08:34 AM

It’s like riding a bike ;)

UncleChip

21-08-18, 08:15 AM

Today's the big day. Got the meeting this afternoon to decide if I've been a good boy or not, and by extension, if my employment here will continue before I can find another job.

I love most of my colleagues and customers. They make my life bearable in the face of what management tell me.
You can't please everyone, but if you can't please the men at the top, you're out.
I suppose if I worked to please management, that would annoy everyone else, then management would get a ton of complaints about me and I'd be out anyway.

I'm not going to win today. If I'm lucky I'll get 4 week's notice. Hopefully that'll be enough time for me to tie up all the loose ends here before I'm booted out.

CaterpillarGirl

21-08-18, 09:23 AM

Good luck today, I hope things go well for you

Paula

21-08-18, 11:25 AM

Thinking of you

Suzi

21-08-18, 12:19 PM

Hope you get sorted lovely...

UncleChip

21-08-18, 10:02 PM

Well, they found out about the overdose from a colleague I confided in, so they decided not to discuss the outcome of the capability procedure and instead sought guidance from a health care professional over weather I should be working unsupervised for the next 2 days.
I'm off for a week after that, and the professional said I've been working unsupervised since the overdose and not repeated it, so she doubts I'll do it again in that time.

From Friday I'll be off work for a week, and after that everyone should be back from their summer breaks, so they're confident I should have enough support at work from then on. But the OD occurred before anyone went on holiday and nobody noticed at the time, so I'm not sure what the logic is there.

Still, another person in my role at another branch came to visit last week to lend a hand for an afternoon and commented that many of us in other branches are being treated for anxiety and depression, so we think there must be a pattern.

Suzi

21-08-18, 10:10 PM

It's good that you had some support from someone else - did they comment on your ability to do the job etc?

Paula

21-08-18, 10:31 PM

Hopefully they now have evidence of the pressure you’ve been under and will support you better

UncleChip

22-08-18, 07:52 PM

They mentioned that I had made some improvements, but then the subject of the OD came up and they decided to postpone the meeting.

I got home from my driving lesson to find an invitation to a stress class, so I'll call them in the morning to confirm my attendance.

Suzi

22-08-18, 09:14 PM

How did the driving go? When's the meeting postponed to?

UncleChip

23-08-18, 10:58 PM

They haven't agreed on a date yet, but I'll find out after my holiday.

The driving lesson went quite well; I went over how to start, stop, steer and change gear, so I'll try light traffic in my next lesson.

Paula

24-08-18, 08:45 AM

Well done, hunni

Suzi

24-08-18, 10:32 AM

Did you feel comfortable with the instructor and behind a wheel?

UncleChip

25-08-18, 06:49 PM

I felt OK with the instructor and I have 2 more lessons next week. But I'm nervous about joining traffic. The previous lesson had me on a road with mostly parked cars, so hopefully I'll start there again and move on to a slightly busier road, but not a dual carriage way.

Paula

25-08-18, 06:53 PM

The instructor should take it at your pace, lovely. My youngest daughter is having lessons atm and she’s progressing much faster than my eldest did, even though they have the same instructor. My eldest was far less confident so he didn’t push her beyond what she felt comfortable with

Suzi

25-08-18, 10:16 PM

Paula is right. Talk to your instructor about how you are feeling.....

UncleChip

30-08-18, 06:21 AM

I've had my second and third lessons this week and my instructor says I might be ready to enter heavy traffic next lesson, which I'm starting to agree with.

I've also had the minutes from the meeting at work. I need to sign them and post a copy of them back to head office, so I'll sort that this morning.

Later today there's an appointment with my GP, so I'll explain about the recommendation from work for the antidepressants. Maybe they'll help with the insomnia that's crept back in recently.

Last night I slipped with a screw driver while trying to fix a shelf. I now have a cross-shaped wound healing on the tip of my finger, which hurts quite badly even though it's not bleeding any more. Not looking forward to washing up. This was always a problem when I used to give blood, as they do a finger brick blood test, and it was always on a finger tip which is packed with nerve endings.

Suzi

30-08-18, 09:35 AM

Great news about the driving. Are you enjoying it?
Do you agree with the minutes from the meeting? Are you happy to sign them?

You should talk to your GP about the anti d's but make it clear that it was a recommendation from occupational health, and not a Dr/counsellor/mental health professional...

WRT the finger, have you thought about wearing washing up gloves?

UncleChip

31-08-18, 12:02 AM

I still have a few worries about driving, mainly to do with the unpredictability of other drivers, but with practice they should go away.

I'll go over the minutes again tomorrow. Today feels like a huge rush and it's nearly midnight now.

After talking with my GP, I've been prescribed fluoxetine, which warns me on the box that it may impair my driving. Though this may address my insomnia. She was going to prescribe sertraline again, but I told her about what happened last time, so she changed her mind.

Due to other issues, I had been recommended gloves for washing up, but I don't like the feel of them; instead I have found a way of keeping my damaged finger dry by handling the dishes with that hand out of the water, while passing items to it from under water with my good hand. It's hurting a lot less now, unless I type with it, which I've learned not to do today.

Paula

31-08-18, 09:05 AM

All meds have to put all the potential side effects on the information, whether they’re likely or not. To date, I haven’t met anyone who struggles with driving because of fluoxetine and I’m sure you’ll be fine.

Suzi

31-08-18, 09:29 AM

My husband was on a high dosage of fluoxetine for years and it didn't ever impact on his driving and he's one of the best drivers I've ever been in a car with!

How's the washing up going? Are you spending less time with it?

UncleChip

31-08-18, 08:40 PM

Thankfully I don't have much washing up to do today, as I'm the only one in the house until Sunday afternoon. My finger still hurts badly, but it hasn't bled since the night of the injury and doesn't appear to be hot or swollen, so I doubt it's infected.

I'll see what the fluoxetine does, as I've only had 2 tablets so far. I think I'm on a very low dose to see how I react to it.

Suzi

31-08-18, 10:18 PM

Where are your children and wife?
How hard did you hurt your finger?

UncleChip

01-09-18, 08:15 PM

My wife and kids are in Blackpool.

When I slipped with the screwdriver, I was pressing it into the screw about as hard as I could, so it left a cross-shaped mark less than 5mm across in the skin on my finger tip. It bled for at least 5 minutes, but I tried to act calm, applied pressure below the wound and kept it raised before washing it. Unfortunately that only slowed it down, rather than stopping it completely, so I wrapped it tightly with a large plaster and that did the trick. When I woke up the next day it had stopped without making too much of a mess.

I know it sounds bad, but I've bled worse when I was cutting myself.

But I know not to do DIY at 1130 pm now, as buses to the hospital don't run at that time and as far as I know, taxi drivers don't like bodily fluids leaking everywhere in their vehicles. I feel like I would have been wasting an ambulance's time.

Suzi

01-09-18, 10:18 PM

I agree it doesn't sound like you needed an ambulance, but you could have got a taxi I'm sure if you needed it... But yes DIY at 1130pm is probably best avoided.....

Just checking, how old was the screwdriver and have you had a tetanus booster?

UncleChip

02-09-18, 08:50 AM

The screwdriver has been in my toolbox for many years. It isn't rusty, but I don't remember when I last had a tetanus booster; probably when I was a child.

Suzi

02-09-18, 11:52 AM

Might be an idea... At least talk it over with your Dr?

UncleChip

02-09-18, 06:45 PM

I've got an appointment booked later this month.

Suzi

02-09-18, 09:12 PM

How are your moods? More stable?

Paula

02-09-18, 09:32 PM

When are your family back from Blackpool?

UncleChip

03-09-18, 07:54 PM

They came back on Sunday afternoon, so we're all together again.

Back at work today and everyone's back from their summer breaks. I think we gear down during the school summer holidays, because it got really busy today.
People even logged requests after my shift, but since I'm the only technician I'll have to be selfish and leave them waiting until I go back in tomorrow morning.

I cried a bit in my office, but didn't resort to any self harm or screaming. My big meeting has been rescheduled to Wednesday though, so that'll get me down.

Suzi

03-09-18, 10:03 PM

Why did you cry? Is your rep coming with you on Wednesday?

UncleChip

04-09-18, 06:14 PM

She's coming, but the meeting as it was planned has been cancelled because there's someone important who can't make it.
HR will be meeting with me instead to see how I'm doing emotionally.

I cried because the friends who had gone weren't there. Which should be obvious, but coupled with the increased workload over the last 2 days I'm starting to cave in.

Paula

04-09-18, 08:01 PM

I hope it goes ok tomorrow

Suzi

04-09-18, 09:10 PM

If it's affected you that much then you really do need to talk to your Dr again...

UncleChip

05-09-18, 06:10 PM

Sorry, when I said "Which should be obvious", I was referring to the redundant words in the previous sentence. I'm sorry if I came across as rude.

Today I thought the meeting was cancelled due to more people not being available, but another representative from HR was present, so we had a discussion about how I'm feeling.

Strange thing is, minutes before the meeting was due to start, another 20 jobs came in on the electronic fault log in the space of a few minutes and I cracked; I only saw the first 10 or so before the meeting and while shouting obscenities at the monitor I decided to leave my office and head down for the meeting.

We talked about how I felt anxious about my workload and that I was ready to handle the workload as it was this morning, but then when several jobs came in at once from the same person I was ready to self harm again, even though I had removed all but the bare minimum of medicines from my work bag.
They felt that I was in no state to continue working and called the crisis team on my behalf, who suggested I go to A&E.
Before I left work, I saw the rest of the jobs, which had effectively tripled my workload in the space of a few minutes, but since I was leaving the premises I thought there'd be no need to think about it for the time being.

At A&E they asked about my sinuses, then realised they were looking at the wrong notes and I had to wait another half an hour for them to get the right paperwork. We talked considerably longer than that when they were ready and they've recommended that I find alternative work - a conclusion I am already working on - but they reassured me that if the other technicians in other branches are being treated for anxiety and / or depression, it's being caused by poor management rather than being a problem originating from me.

Work aren't expecting me in for the rest of the week, but I can't shake the feeling that when I go back on Monday there'll be a huge list for me to wade through, since the last time I had time off for anxiety I came back to a slightly longer list even though someone had been covering for me.

I'll admit, there have been times when the list has been in excess of 30 job long, but I've not known it to grow this fast. What happens if it continues?

Suzi

05-09-18, 08:21 PM

I'm glad they called the crisis team and I'm glad you've been seen by someone in A+E. Have you told your wife what has happened?

Sweetheart, if you need the time off, then you need the time off. If you're really struggling with that then maybe you need longer than a couple of days off...

magie06

05-09-18, 10:51 PM

Flo

06-09-18, 08:18 AM

I have to agree wholeheartedly with magie! Sadly regarding work these days, no one is indispensable! Take the time you need to get better. Depression is as much as an illness as anything else. Take the care and services offered to you so you can function properly again.(bear)

Suzi

06-09-18, 08:56 AM

I absolutely agree with Magie and Flo! You can't carry on as you are. Give yourself time to heal.. What did your wife say?

Paula

06-09-18, 09:48 AM

I'll just say one thing that may sound harsh, but I don't mean it to be. If you were killed in an accident tomorrow they would have someone new in the job on Monday. Take the time that you need. If it was cancer treatment you might not be able to work, what's so different about depression?

Couldn’t agree more. Please make sure that you rest over the next few days, and try not to worry about work - you can’t do anything about it and all the worrying does is hurt you more

UncleChip

06-09-18, 10:46 AM

Sorry, I guess I left that detail out. Work phoned my wife after I told them where she worked and somebody involved in health and safety drove me to my wife's workplace, then took us both to A&E, so my wife was there the whole time, pretty much.

She's asked me to promise not to harm myself and says that if they sack me they'll be doing me a favour.

This morning a feel very light headed and like I have to really concentrate on moving if I want to go anywhere or do anything. I've not had any medicines outside the usual and I've had no alcohol recently, so I doubt it's a hangover.
I'll see how I feel on Sunday before deciding if I should have more time off beyond that.

Suzi

06-09-18, 12:22 PM

It sounds like she's being really supportive which is so important.
2 days + a weekend isn't enough if you've been as bad as you are feeling.....

Paula

06-09-18, 01:42 PM

Mental and emotional strain does have a heavy impact on physical health so I’m not surprised you’re feeling rough. Please just rest

UncleChip

11-09-18, 10:28 PM

A meeting at work has been planned tomorrow and my wife has been invited. I don't know why, but I'll not question the decision to involve her.

It's been suggested that I put together a list of things which have upset me in recent years, but when I think about it, many of the items on my list seem trivial by most people's standards.

But the main issue is that I'm largely doing a job which was done by 4 people when I started. Everything else that's hurt me is the gradual elimination of my preferred coping strategies, until I've reached the state I'm in now.

Suzi

11-09-18, 10:40 PM

It does sound different that your wife has been invited - were you consulted about it?
It doesn't matter if you think that others will think things which have upset you are trivial or not, if they are affecting you then they are important...

Paula

11-09-18, 11:21 PM

Have you spoken to your wife about it? Was she surprised?

Suzi

12-09-18, 09:27 AM

Hope the meeting goes well....

Paula

12-09-18, 09:50 AM

Thinking of you today

UncleChip

12-09-18, 05:12 PM

My wife knew about it before I did, but now that we've had the meeting I think I just lost my job.
They've offered to arrange a settlement, but I think I'll only be welcome on the premises to clear out my office.

Paula

12-09-18, 05:59 PM

Did they not make it clear what was happening?

UncleChip

12-09-18, 07:21 PM

I think it's optional, but my wife and my union rep are both recommending I take the settlement.

I'm really worried that I won't be able to find another job before my money runs out, but I have been offered (from the local council) one-to-one assistance to find a new job. The next appointment for this support is on Tuesday, so hopefully I'll be able to find a suitable job soon.

Suzi

12-09-18, 09:09 PM

What options were you given? Did they have details of the settlement ready? You can't agree without knowing what is being offered...

UncleChip

13-09-18, 10:54 AM

They've given me a few days to think about the options, but they need time to prepare the details of the settlement too.

All things considered, I don't think they're equipped to deal with someone with my level of depression and me being there will only make me worse.
There are a lot of people I don't want to leave behind, but considering management doesn't want me talking to them even when we're all on breaks, my attempts to be happy at work only serve to break rules, which gets me even more down.

I'll see how viable the settlement is when they're ready with it. I just need to keep myself occupied until Tuesday.

Suzi

13-09-18, 12:36 PM

So are you at home until Tuesday or working?

UncleChip

13-09-18, 04:47 PM

I'm at home, but on Tuesday I have an appointment to help me find a new job. It had been arranged separately to the meetings at work, but the timing is coincidental.

I understand HR don't want me back at work, but I'm still on the books until a decision is made that I'm either fit for work or I'm taking the settlement.

Suzi

13-09-18, 05:02 PM

Fair enough. Have you been back to your GP recently?

Paula

13-09-18, 07:05 PM

How does your wife feel about it all?

UncleChip

13-09-18, 09:21 PM

I've got another appointment on Thursday, but I might have to arrange an appointment for Monday to get a sick note.

My wife is leaning towards accepting the settlement, but she wants to see the details before we make a decision.
If I decline and keep my job, I face having to go through another capability procedure in the future and they won't be held to offering another settlement; I understand that my union rep pushed for them to offer one this time.

My son's school has sent me a message asking me to phone them tomorrow regarding the possibility of working for them in a similar capacity, but I didn't know about it until this evening so I'll call them tomorrow.

Suzi

13-09-18, 10:11 PM

Working for the school doing computer stuff?

UncleChip

14-09-18, 09:12 AM

That's it, but if I understand correctly I would be part of a team, so I wouldn't effectively be spinning hundreds of plates.
I'll find out when I give the school a call.

Suzi

14-09-18, 10:22 AM

Have you contacted the school? How are you feeling?

Paula

14-09-18, 03:09 PM

Have you rung?

UncleChip

14-09-18, 03:11 PM

I called the school and they said it was a temporary position to fill in for their technicians on leave.
I can't start right away as I'm still recovering from my previous job and the fluoxetine might be contributing to my low mood while I get used to it.

But he said to give him a call in a few weeks anyway as there may be a longer term vacancy open.

As far as my feelings are going, I'm quite relieved that I don't have to go back to my old place of work, save for emptying my office. I just need to arrange a time with them.

Paula

14-09-18, 03:12 PM

Well done for ringing and making that contact

Suzi

14-09-18, 07:39 PM

That's a really good thing to have made that contact..

UncleChip

18-09-18, 07:41 PM

I just had a session with a work search coach, and while it's early days yet, I think this is just the sort of help I need to find a new job, since trying this for myself for the last 10 months hasn't worked very well.

Suzi

18-09-18, 08:45 PM

What kind of thing did you do? How are you feeling?

Paula

18-09-18, 09:24 PM

You sound brighter, are you?

UncleChip

19-09-18, 10:05 PM

With the job search coach I looked at my personal qualities and what kinds of work I'd be suitable for. I've emailed my CV to her, so she will hopefully have time to look at it before we meet up next week.

While I'm relieved that I don't have the overwhelming pressure of my previous job bearing down on me, I do feel like a failure for not having a job lined up. And I've been searching since October / November 2017. But I feel more optimistic. And exhausted. But recovering.

Suzi

20-09-18, 08:34 AM

Glad you are feeling brighter. No more screaming or harming or overdoses?

UncleChip

20-09-18, 06:18 PM

None of those, but I have been feeling a bit tearful and quite exhausted. The tiredness might be down to the beta blockers.

Suzi

20-09-18, 07:47 PM

Thing is, it's quite usual to be teary and exhausted when you start actually dealing with the way that you are feeling...

Paula

20-09-18, 08:01 PM

None of those, but I have been feeling a bit tearful and quite exhausted. The tiredness might be down to the beta blockers.

But you’re still pushing yourself to get things sorted. You should be proud of yourself :)

UncleChip

24-09-18, 08:44 PM

I went in to work today to hand my sick note in, and the receptionists didn't know I was leaving. I didn't know that me leaving was a secret, but I guess it's possible news hadn't reached them yet.

I still don't have a final date yet, but I thought I'd drive my own car there and back. It was an uneventful trip until I got home and accidentally scraped one of the rear passenger doors on the gate post. I'll have to see how much that'll cost to fix and try to get the gate posts moved so the drive way can be widened.
I'm trying not to get worked up over it, but my wife seems to be very upset with me, making it obvious that I'm making her comfort eat. I won't argue with her though, even if I think she might be trying to make me feel bad. I already feel bad about it, but there's nothing to be gained from me crying over it.

I haven't given up on driving though. I'll see if there's anywhere in town I can park for free on Wednesday when I have my meeting with the job search coach, and again on Friday when I have my appointment with the coping strategy group.