View Full Version : Are depressed people unloyal? *explicit trigger*

Angel Of The Morning
27-02-18, 10:52 AM
Hi guys, I've noticed that every now and then I have wet dream, sometimes with my girl, sometimes not. Sometimes I notice that that is not my girlfriend and I immediately stop and feel bad for what I did, sometimes I keep going. The idea of cheating on her just pushes me on the ground because I don't want to do something like that to her, it breaks me to think that I can make such dreams. I know that problably I'm making things bigger than what they really are, but I'm worried because often times I find myself thinking that my life won't be any different if I didn't have my girlfriend, and it just breaks my heart to even think something like that because I really love and I want to love her as much as possible. I know she deserves my love but it seems impossible to give her the love that I really want to give her. Does that mean that I will cheat on her? Does that mean that I don't love her? Is it just my depression messing with my head and my feelings?
I am really sorry if I'm asking the wrong questions. I have planned to talk to my psychologist about that in a couple of days, it's just that I had another dream this morning and it's really bothering me

27-02-18, 11:08 AM
Having fantasys are ok, we all have them, acting on them is a different kettle of fish, we all have those fantasies of sleeping with someone famous, that's normal, it is the difference between dreaming about it and actually carrying out, if its only dreaming then thats not cheating, its if you actually carry it out that then that is cheating.

27-02-18, 11:13 AM
I believe you said you were 17. Fantasising and wet dreams come with the territory ...

27-02-18, 01:29 PM
I've added a trigger warning to your thread as some people prefer not to discuss this side of life and that's fully their right.

However, I've taught sex education to a group of inner London city teenagers so not a lot phases me ;) At 17 you will have had the "your body is going to go through changes" talk at home or at school I would have thought? So therefore you know that wet dreams are commonplace for boys of your age and you know that it's perfectly normal to have dreams of this nature. So, why is it bothering you so much?

Angel Of The Morning
28-02-18, 11:28 AM
The wet dream per se isn't bothering me, what's bothering me is that I now have wet dream about someone who isn't my girl

28-02-18, 12:00 PM
I think that everyone has someone they fantasize about whether they are in a relationship or not - especially if it's a famous person.... Is the person you are fantasizing about a famous person or someone else you know?

28-02-18, 12:52 PM
Iíve been with my husband for 19 years and adore him but still dream about other men. It doesnít mean Iím cheating on him - as long as it doesnít take away from our relationship

Angel Of The Morning
04-03-18, 04:57 PM
Well, I guess the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that I feel like she and I are strangers, I really want to feel close to her and love her. She has something that makes me want to really love her but I don't know, it just feels like we are acting. I am afraid that I don't love her and never will

04-03-18, 05:35 PM
You and your girlfriend?

04-03-18, 06:39 PM
you Sound very serious and adult for a 17 year old - most kids your age wouldnít be even thinking about this sort of thing

Angel Of The Morning
04-03-18, 06:41 PM
Yes, me and my girlfriend

06-03-18, 08:15 PM
I remember when I was a lot younger (not that old yet though) I once had a dream about my best friends girlfriend. I felt horrible about it and guilty. Until later I was thinking why? I did nothing wrong. Never acted on it so its no big deal.

I overthink and analyze everything. To the point where nothing feels ligit or true.

If its possible just try to enjoy the times with your girlfriend and dreams are just dreams. They are not reality.

Oh I was way to mature at your age. Its totaly ok :)

Angel Of The Morning
06-03-18, 11:33 PM
Well, I are very right. I just overthinked the situation maybe. Thanks!

09-03-18, 01:40 PM
So the first thing to say is that depression can make us feel detached from the people close to us, and also like we're not good enough for them. As someone who's recently entered into a new relationship, this is something i also experience. It'd be well worth speaking to you psychologist about this.

Do you mind if i ask how long you and your girlfriend have been together? does she know about your depression? I'm not going to suggest that you necessarily should or shouldn't talk about it with her, but it might help if she can understand what you're going through.

As for thinking/dreaming about other people, it's perfectly natural, and as others have said, it's perfectly fine as long as you don't act on it. I'm fortunate that my boyfriend and I can check out guys together (im guessing this is less of an option for you) but neither of us want an open relationship and we're respectful of that. we all find a range of body types and facial features etc attractive, and that doesn't stop being the case just because we find a partner.

Angel Of The Morning
09-03-18, 10:23 PM
We've been together for five months and she knows about my depression but we're kinda breaking up right now so nevermind...

10-03-18, 10:06 AM
Why are you breaking up? I'm sorry to hear that...

Angel Of The Morning
11-03-18, 01:20 AM
Well, we didn't break up in the end. It was just a pretty bad fight

11-03-18, 12:19 PM
OK, as long as you're OK.

12-03-18, 12:13 PM
Fights happen, Iím afraid, Iím glad you both dealt with it and hope youíve forgiven each other