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Pheeny-jo
09-02-18, 03:14 AM
Hi all, I'm new here. I don't know where to begin, I just need to get this out right now.

My current situation is that I get up in the middle of the day, maybe waste some time online and then around 7pm start drinking and carry on until I go to bed around 3 or 4am. I feel so useless, I'm absolutely sick of my "life" but I feel like I haven't got the strength to change it. I honestly wish I'd never been born sometimes.

Suzi
09-02-18, 11:12 AM
Hi and welcome to DWD.

Sweetheart have you spoken to a Dr about how you are feeling? How much alcohol are you drinking each day?

Pheeny-jo
09-02-18, 03:06 PM
I haven't been to the doctors in a long time because if you're lucky enough to get an appointment at all, you never see the same one twice and having to go over this stuff with an overworked, disinterested nhs doctor is kind of soul destroying to be honest. I did get my meds changed (over the phone!) to 40mg a day a few months back and for a while it seemed to be helping but now I feel like I'm sinking again.

I don't keep track of the drinking but I know it's far too much, I end up buying a litre of gin every 2-3 days and if I can get my hands on anything else I'll have that too. I hate myself for it.

TiffanyyO
09-02-18, 03:26 PM
So sorry your dealing with this hun! I am in the same boat with the drinking, I get that part totally. you have come to the right place to get some support and any help you may need :) can I ask how old you are? how long have you been drinking the way you have been lately? if you don't mind me asking.

Pheeny-jo
09-02-18, 04:10 PM
I'm 29 nearly 30. I've been drinking since I was 15 to cope with my anxiety but it's got to the stage now where it doesn't really do anything so I have to have more and more. I'm terrified of what it's doing to my health but I feel like I need it just to feel "normal".

Paula
09-02-18, 04:40 PM
Hi and welcome. There are other, and better, ways to deal with anxiety. I know it’s hard but you really need to see your GP - first to get support to help with phasing out and then stopping drinking (if you’re ready to do that) and also to see if here’s any additional medication or support to help with your anxiety. It’s going to be a tough journey, love, but we will be here every step of the way for you (bear)

Jaquaia
09-02-18, 04:45 PM
The problem is alcohol is a depressant so will be having the opposite effects to your meds. None of us can tell you what to do, but we can offer as much support as we possibly can

Suzi
09-02-18, 04:55 PM
Please, please, please go and see your GP - print out what you've written here too so you can just hand that over if you need to... I'll save my "alcohol is bad because...." lecture, but alcohol is not the answer lovely - oh and there is no "normal"

Pheeny-jo
09-02-18, 06:04 PM
Thanks everyone, I have an appointment with the health advisor on the work programme I'm on next week so I'll see how that goes.

Paula
09-02-18, 06:29 PM
That sounds like a good starting point :)

Suzi
09-02-18, 06:51 PM
Tell them everything you've told us.

TiffanyyO
10-02-18, 12:11 AM
Tell them everything you've told us.

Suzie is right, that is what I did as well years ago, I wrote everything down before going to see my doctor, it really helped

Pheeny-jo
13-02-18, 02:38 AM
I am hurting so much tonight. For no apparent reason at all, I've had such a bad day today.

Paula
13-02-18, 10:50 AM
(panda)

Suzi
13-02-18, 12:17 PM
Did you see the health advisor at all?

Pheeny-jo
13-02-18, 04:39 PM
Did you see the health advisor at all?

I'm seeing her tomorrow, really not looking forward to it...

Suzi
13-02-18, 05:11 PM
Go with an open mind and tell them everything.. They are there to help.

Pheeny-jo
15-02-18, 07:34 PM
Hi everyone, I saw the health advisor for the first time yesterday. While we didn't cover much, I came away from it feeling much more positive. I've got another appointment with her next week, the eventual aim is to get me some alcohol counselling and CBT.

Paula
15-02-18, 07:49 PM
Well done! Just having that first conversation is a brilliant start :)

Suzi
15-02-18, 10:30 PM
That's brilliant! Well done! :)

girlwithbpd
17-02-18, 09:09 PM
is this topic still on?
I am new here.
well of course first of all you should go to the doctor, stop drinking,get some help. that is easier said than done though.

Suzi
17-02-18, 10:32 PM
It is still open, and the op is getting help.

Pheeny-jo
03-03-18, 03:46 AM
Hi all.

I haven't bought any more gin which I like to think is a small positive step even though I am still drinking (wine mostly). I did my referral to alcohol counselling at my last appointment with the health advisor but I'm still waiting to hear from them.

I am trying.

Paula
03-03-18, 09:39 AM
Well done for trying, have you chased up that referral?

Suzi
03-03-18, 11:52 AM
Well done lovely, but I also agree that chasing that referral would be a positive thing.

Pheeny-jo
04-03-18, 03:32 AM
They did say it would be at least 2 weeks before I heard anything but I suppose if I don't hear anything by the end of this week it wouldn't hurt to get in contact with them.

Suzi
04-03-18, 11:07 AM
Definitely worth a phone call. Can I ask how much you are drinking?

Pheeny-jo
04-03-18, 08:26 PM
Definitely worth a phone call. Can I ask how much you are drinking?

On a typical day I usually have a bottle of beer while I'm getting dinner, then share a bottle or two of wine with my mum, which compared to what I was drinking is an improvement! Obviously I'd like to get it down a lot further yet, breaking the habit is really hard though.

Paula
04-03-18, 08:35 PM
Can you and your mum work together to gradually reduce how much you’re both drinking?

Pheeny-jo
04-03-18, 08:43 PM
That's the plan of action ideally, I'm more keen to do something about it though. I think mum's of the old fashioned notion that you can't be an alcoholic unless you drink first thing in the morning, my definition is someone who can't get through the day without having a drink which is where I'm at right now.

Suzi
04-03-18, 09:20 PM
Than you do need to be strong with her too. It's not going to be easy and if you are alcohol dependent please, please, please don't just stop. That can be really dangerous.