Issues with work or am I being sensitive.

[Carmad_dan]

Hello all,

IÂ’m new to the forum and to depression.

IÂ’ll try and keep it short if I can.

Almost a month ago the doctor had diagnosed me with severe depression. A bit of a shock to me but looking at the symptoms it described exactly how I was feeling. IÂ’m not sure what has triggered it but with general life stresses I felt like I was also struggling with work.

Struggling to sleep and then struggling to concentrate on basic work tasks I new something was up. Constantantly worried about work and if IÂ’m performing ok I felt like even when IÂ’m home it was consuming my life and I couldnÂ’t switch off.

So after my appointment with the doctor and a prescription of fluoxetine I thought things may improve. With advice from the doctor he suggested I let my boss (the director) know. So not wanting to have a face to face conversation I emailed him. A simple email to say what the doctor has diagnosed and that IÂ’m on medication. Just to say IÂ’m struggling but IÂ’m not asking for anything from the company or him and hopefully things will return to normal. Also just to let him know that I may have some doctor appointments to go to. Unfortunately I had no response to this. My boss works remotely 4 days a week and in the office one day however I talk to him daily on the phone. So no response from this email and then him avoiding me for the rest of that week. No phone calls etc.

The next week at work was hell. Struggling to do stuff that I could do in my sleep, sweating, headaches, no sleep and every morning crying my eyes out. (Id have thought I was a man without emotion. I donÂ’t cry...apparently I do)

Then Wednesday the following week was a tough one. A complete melt down and almost crashing on the way to work I decided I couldnÂ’t go in. So I emailed my boss apologising that I could be in work today and IÂ’m seeing the doctor later. Anyway his very supportive response was one word... understood!

The doctor was obviously concerned and had signed me off work. The plan was to just completely chill out and try and catch up on sleep.

So I email my boss to say IÂ’ve been signed off for a week, I attached a photo of my doctors note and asked if he would like it posting to him direct.( people open the post in our office so didnÂ’t want it sending it there)

His response was purely... due to this type of absence we will need to do a return to work interview to make sure we are doing the right things.

Within this time I had a conversation with a IAPT therapist who had assessed me and agreed with the doctor. She then has booked me on a CBDT course and tryin to get me some councilling.

So another hard week being off and no improvement which actually I think I was worse the doctor has signed me off for a month and increased my medication. This was a real kick and I was so nervous about being off but he said you need to get better.

So again I emailed my boss attached the doctors note and was trying to be very positive. (IÂ’m always concerned that people automatically think that your looking for another job or just faking). He responded two days later saying I can confirm receipt of this email.

So that was 8 days ago. Things have been hard but today especially I thought IÂ’m feeling a little better and managed to get out the house for an hour. When I got home I noticed an email from my boss.

The letter says that given the duration of my absence (8 days) they would better like to understand my fitness of work.

In my contract it states that at anytime they can request I have a medical examination and to have any subsequent medical report to be disclosed to them.
Therefore they propose to refer me to a occupational health practitioner to obtain a report on my health and fitness to work.

Basically I have 5 days to respond or I am in breach of my contract.

I was completely shocked to see this email and now feel like I did that day I broke down. I meant to be off work to get better but now IÂ’m just going to spend my time worrying about my job security and what this appointment will intaiil.

IÂ’m not sure if itÂ’s just because of he depression but I feel this not a great way of helping me. Am I over reacting?

IÂ’m just not sure what to do, IÂ’m so concerned about my job which then makes me concerned about finances and what would happen if IÂ’m sacked.

It would be great to have you opinions, advice etc.

Thanks

Dan

[Suzi]

Hi Dan and welcome.

Firstly well done for seeing your GP and getting things moving.

WRT the OH appointment - don't be too worried as they are there to help you.
WRT your boss - could it be that he's trying to give you space? That's why he isn't contacting you much?

[Paula]

Hi Dan and welcome.

[northantsgirl]

Hey well done on going to the doctor
When i was off sick i was told that management in the company i worked for had to keep all contact with sick staff to a minimum as of you are unwell it can look like they are harassing you
I wouldnt worry about OH i wish my employer had sent me to them

[Carmad_dan]

Thanks all for the comments. So what am I to expect with the occupational health meeting. Is it normally by phone, face to face etc?

I think the issue is my GP has signed me off for a month to allow time for the medics to start taking affect and for me to try and recover. Only a few days in I know feel like I’m going to be spending this time off worrying about this meeting and what my work might do. I’ve only been at the company for 12 months so I fear that my rights are pretty basic. I’m just finding that my employer is not allowing me to recover. The plan was to take this time off to try and get back to some kind of normality and then go back to work with a much better mind set.

Regarding my boss I just feel that there has been no support. I feel that if for instance I had broken a bone or something and was off for a month then they would not be perusing the same route.

The last few days I had felt like things were coming back to normal. I got out the house and was trying to do some things that I enjoy doing that I stopped doing a few months back. After that email I’m not constantly worried, my sleep last night was horrendous and I feel like I’m back to where I started.

[Carmad_dan]

also sorry about the spelling and punctuation on both posts, there terrible however I'm not sure how to edit them.

[Suzi]

Don't worry about spelling and punctuation - it's fine ;)

OT is normally face to face and normally it's a chat with some questions to try to find out what things can be put in place to help such as a fazed return etc

[TiffanyyO]

Hey and welcome Dan ♥
you've come to the right place. I hope your doing well today!

[Zellic]

Hi Dan, I too am currently off work with depression and I had my OH meeting two weeks ago. The person I saw was really helpful and they are there to support you. My meeting went really well and they could see that it was work that was causing me to be anxious and stressed which led to my depression. So now the ball is in my employers court as OH have told them that they need to get my job role sorted before I return to work on a phased return, as well as having regular 1:1 meetings which don't stop until I no longer feel I need thrm and my employer also needs to do a stress assessment and whatever gets flagged up by this they need to do their best to resolve it. Hope this helps to relieve some of your worrying in regards to this meeting. I too was worried just like you but they are definitely on your side. I've been off work for just over two months and I needed that time to get my head around things and slowly begin to realise that I hadn't done anything wrong with the help from medication, CBT, friends, family and this forum who all helped me to get the support and give me the courage/confidence to do what I needed to.

[Marky123]

Hi Dan, I am currently off work with depression, have been for a month, I have a Doctors appointment later today and expect to be signed off again. I spoke to Occupational Health earlier in the week (by phone), I was really worried about it, but I actually found it quite helpful and they have told work that I will need a few more weeks , as I am changing medication and when I do go back it will be phased return. My partner keeps trying to reassure me that I'm not to blame and I'm not in trouble, but I find it difficult to accept. The one thing I am slowly realising their is no point rushing back, if it puts you back to square one. take your time and look after yourself.

Also this is my first post so hello!

[Suzi]

Hi Marky and welcome to DWD. That's a lovely post.