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nettee0
13-01-18, 01:22 PM
Hello, I have just found this site. I have and am suffering with depression and anxiety for many years, on and off, although have been taking medication all the time. Just recently, I have slipped into another bout of it and it feels worse than ever. I have asked my GP about alternative medication maybe helping me more, and he has added diazepam 2mg to the Venlafaxine I have taken for years. I retired from work a couple of years ago as I could not cope with the stress and responsibility any more, but have tried a couple of temporary jobs since then, both lasting three months before I felt I could not cope any longer. In the last few days I have contacted my local mental health team and am on the waiting list for CBT, although I have had this before and found it really hard going. I have been told if I don't feel it is helping me, I can switch to counselling. I am home most of the time on my own as my husband works. He has seen me like this many times over the years and is not very empathetic. He just says I need a job, but at the moment, although I do trawl the internet for local jobs, there is not one I feel I could do and, even if I found one, do not have the confidence to apply. I have shutdown from friends and family as I do not want to be a burden, and suicidal thoughts have entered my mind, for the first time. I just feel a complete failure and have no purpose. I cannot eat or do basic tasks at home. Everything just seems pointless. I hope I have posted this I the right place.

Paula
13-01-18, 01:54 PM
Hello nettee, I’m so sorry you’re struggling at the moment. When did you last speak to your doctor?

Suzi
13-01-18, 02:18 PM
Hi and welcome to DWD.
Sweetheart you sound in so much pain (bear). Talking to us can help. We understand at least parts of what you are saying.

Can you focus on the basics - get up, get washed, get dressed, take meds, eat and drink?

Arty
13-01-18, 02:57 PM
Hi and welcome to DWD. You are amongst friends here, well done for reaching out to us :)

nettee0
13-01-18, 07:58 PM
Hi Suzi, thank you. I can get up and out of bed when my husband tells me it is time to, otherwise I think I could stay there all day. Sounds awful, but some days I can't be bothered to wash, but I get dressed and take my meds. I do drink lots of warm drinks, but not really eating.

nettee0
13-01-18, 08:00 PM
Hi Paula, On Wednesday. He is referring me for therapy, but it could take a couple of months to see a therapist.

nettee0
13-01-18, 08:02 PM
Thank you, Arty. As I am sure you know, it is hard to talk to people (even my husband) who cannot relate to this.

Jaquaia
13-01-18, 08:13 PM
Hi Suzi, thank you. I can get up and out of bed when my husband tells me it is time to, otherwise I think I could stay there all day. Sounds awful, but some days I can't be bothered to wash, but I get dressed and take my meds. I do drink lots of warm drinks, but not really eating.

It doesn't sound awful at all. It's fairly common for depression to affect self-care. Could you try and eat little things that might take your fancy? Just so you're having something?

Suzi
13-01-18, 09:07 PM
Doesn't sound awful at all. It sounds like any other symptom of depression - horrible for you to deal with...

nettee0
14-01-18, 01:39 PM
Hi Jaquaia, thank you. There is nothing I fancy to eat. I do try, but as soon as the food is in my mouth, I start to feel sick and cannot swallow it. I do manage the odd cuppa soup, not nutritional, but something to slip down.

Suzi
14-01-18, 09:01 PM
So what have you had to eat today?

Paula
14-01-18, 09:35 PM
Are you drinking properly?

nettee0
15-01-18, 11:14 AM
A cuppa soup and some mashed potato x

nettee0
15-01-18, 11:15 AM
Trying to drink water, but mostly coffee x

Suzi
15-01-18, 11:31 AM
That's really not a lot to eat lovely and you'll be missing protein and a lot of the minerals and vitamins. Can you try to eat something more? What about a sifferent kind of soup?

Paula
15-01-18, 11:37 AM
Trying to drink water, but mostly coffee x

Sweetheart, it’s really not going to help you if you’re drinking a lot of coffee. I do understand, I used to drink a lot too but now limit myself to two cups a day. Thing is, it’s going to increase your anxiety levels and stops you sleeping properly.

nettee0
15-01-18, 04:05 PM
Will try a different soup.

nettee0
15-01-18, 04:26 PM
Sweetheart, it’s really not going to help you if you’re drinking a lot of coffee. I do understand, I used to drink a lot too but now limit myself to two cups a day. Thing is, it’s going to increase your anxiety levels and stops you sleeping properly.

I understand what you say and am trying apple juice now, thank you x

Suzi
15-01-18, 04:44 PM
Try a homemade style soup or something different like a stew or something?