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Sleepy60
12-01-18, 08:43 AM
Hi
I don't know what to do as I feel my depression hitting a low and as it's been quite a few years I don't know what to do!!
I'm scared to tell my husband as he will go mad( he dosent think ppl can be so ill from depression)
I took early retirement last year and so did my husband and I am struggling to be at home with him all day every day!!! He's quite a bully at times and has been quite miserable so it's hit me hard again and I'm not sleeping( spend most of the night on my iPad and wandering around the house) he's oblivious to this as sleeps like a baby!!!
I'm very on edge at the moment and am scared he will push me too far,I feel I have no one to talk to and really don't know what to do.
Thanks

Suzi
12-01-18, 09:03 AM
Sweetheart have you spoken to your Dr?
You do not have be bullied lovely... There are options.
Have you told him how it makes you feel?

Sleepy60
12-01-18, 09:18 AM
I haven't as there's a 2week waiting list and I know my husband won't like it and as he's around I won't be able to do it with out him knowing.he will say to me what have you got to be depressed about!!!

Suzi
12-01-18, 09:35 AM
Have you thought about looking at the time-to-change website? They have some lovely and easy ways of talking about it to try to get others to understand..

Sleepy60
12-01-18, 09:58 AM
What is the time to change website? Def sounds like something I do
Thanks

Paula
12-01-18, 10:11 AM
https://www.time-to-change.org.uk

It’s an organisation dedicated to ending mental health discrimination including how to talk to people about mental health. Sweetie, have you anyone you can talk to about how your husband treats you?

Sleepy60
12-01-18, 04:05 PM
He dosent understand depression and how hard I fight it!! Don't have anyone to talk to about it but have just joined a local group,on Facebook and they are organising a walk and coffee which I would love to do.
I think if after next week I still feel like this will go to the drs and get something to help me sleep!! Does anyone know what's the best way to get to sleep and stay asleep?
Thanks

Paula
12-01-18, 04:52 PM
What’s your routine like for going to bed? Are you watching TV or on a computer right up til you try to get to sleep? The NHS website has some tips that may help you. https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/insomnia/Pages/bedtimeritual.aspx

Have you ever talked to your doctor about your mental health? Do you take anti depressants?

Suzi
12-01-18, 06:02 PM
Can I ask why you are planning on waiting past next week? Why not go earlier?

Sleepy60
12-01-18, 09:29 PM
I have been on anti depressants for 15yrs and my dr never talks about my depression,tried to a couple of times but just get told if your ok then that's fine,that's why I try and sort myself out!! I'm very hard on myself as I feel I am a failure if I can't control my thoughts!!! That's why I don't talk to many ppl about it,even my sons don't understand how I feel.the past year and a half has been difficult with losing my mum and mother in-law, my husband having a heart attack,2 minor ops and moving house and I think now I have taken early retirement I can't cope with being at home and not working and my husband being at home!! I really do need a better night routine as I am often on my iPad til late.
I'm gonna try tonight to relax and breathe.
Thanks everyone

Paula
12-01-18, 09:41 PM
Could you speak to a different doctor? Could you ring for an appointment and explain you need to see someone who specialises in mental health? It’s never right for your concerns to be brushed under the carpet like that

Suzi
12-01-18, 09:51 PM
Sounds like you've been through an awful lot.
Your sons wont understand as they've never been through it...But try talking to them lovely.

nettee0
13-01-18, 08:16 PM
Hi, I have just joined this website today. Feeling very low and awaiting therapy. Your husband sounds much like mine, no understanding or empathy. I have tried to get him to watch some You Tube videos, but so far he hasn't. I too have been on antidepressants for many many years, worked through it, but gave up two years ago due to the stress. Enjoyed being at home and looking after grandchildren at first, but just before Christmas, this depression came on again despite the meds. Husband says I need a new job, he still works, but I can't contemplate the thought of going through interviews. Saw GP again last week and he has referred me to see a therapist, but the wait is probably about two months. So hard, isn't it. I don't really leave the house now and don't see anyone all day long. Sending big hugs.

Suzi
13-01-18, 09:11 PM
I am in the situation that your husbands are in and it's really hard to know what to say or what not to say on each day to make things better/worse... The only thing that helped me was to talk to people with depression and to bounce ideas and upsets I was experiencing on them - which in turn meant that I could get my husband to open up and talk to me a bit more which is the only thing which has saved our relationship....
We do have separate male/female sections if you wanted to ask them to join here to talk - but needed your own space too....

nettee0
14-01-18, 01:47 PM
Thank you, Suzi. I really do appreciate it is difficult for husbands/wives to see their loved ones in this state. My husband still works, so is out most of the time. On weekends, he gets on with what he wants to do and I don't blame him at all. It is a distraction for him and he needs it. I will tell him about the other sections on the site.

Suzi
14-01-18, 09:02 PM
Let me know and I'll move threads of yours if you want/need away from his view...