I am Groot

[magie06]

(panda)

[Flo]

It must be very hard for you all, especially your mum - and dad of course. She will always be part of you and it's lovely that you recognise her birthday. She existed, if only for a short time. And the fact that you all acknowledge her must make it a little easier for your mum. She doesn't bear the burden on her own then. (panda)

[Angie]

(bear)

[Paula]

I’ve been up to her grave to see this

https://preview.ibb.co/mWNuqT/FA38_E619_DADF_4_DF1_B76_E_16_A827_D766_E4.jpg (https://ibb.co/kzmLVT)
deactivate kik (https://deleteacc.com/kik)

Her rose bush has really flourished this year! :)

I also paid a visit to the grave of the man who was more of a grandfather to me than my real ones, and who died 21 years ago this week. I do the same every year but it’s really got to me this year for some reason

[OldMike]

(bear) (panda)

[Suzi]

I love that you all celebrate her birthday. I have had m/c and I'm the only one who remembers the date and I know it's not the same thing, but I have an understanding of a small amount of the pain.
Sending you all loads of love and huge hugs today. Pass on my thoughts to your Mum too..

[Paula]

I’ve been reading my book with my new kindle. I have to say, it’s a lot easier on my vision than using the iPad kindle app so I’m happy I decided to splurge on it.

What I loved about today is that Si and Jess came to the cemetery with me and Katie sent me a message as she’s at her dads. My sister is a part of my family in the next generation. I know a lot of people wouldn’t recognise this like we do but it’s important to us, to my parents, that she’s not forgotten. They went through hell when she was born and the hospital buried her in an unmarked grave in hospital grounds. It took mum and dad two years to find out where she was, get her body exhumed and then bury her again where she is, properly, where we can remember her. Where she’s not forgotten

[Suzi]

That's horrific for them to have had to go through that. I understand why it's so important and it is important.

[Paula]

I’ve been sitting out in the garden for hours, reading my book, chatting with my girls :) I can’t sit in direct sunlight (vampire?) as my CRPS skin burns very easily and having sunburn when the condition already makes it burn is not a good move. But the parasol was angled perfectly and it was just so relaxing. What is it about sitting out on a sunny day that is so soothing?

[Suzi]

It sounds like a perfect way to spend time together!

[Flo]

Probably because you're in touch with nature...the evening perfume off plants, listening to the birds and feeling a breeze! Do the same today Paula...but later on. Have a good one!xx

[OldMike]

Isn't it funny hows scents in the garden are more intense in the evening I wonder if it is because it is cooler.

Hope you manage to sit outside in the shade again Paula.

[Suzi]

How are you lovely?

[Angie]

Afternoon hunni x

[Paula]

How are you lovely?

A bit bleurgh. I’ve had a nice afternoon at my friends but struggling now. Probably the heat

[OldMike]

It's probably the heat like you say, I notice how much hotter it is in my computer room than downstairs in the lounge.

Hopefully you'll feel better as it cools down during the evening.

[Suzi]

If you're struggling like I am (each movement feels like it's through treacle and everything's sore) then I'm putting it down to good old autonomic dysfunction.... Hope as it cools down a bit that you feel a bit better..

[Paula]

That’s exactly it, Suzi. There was a time I’d have loved this weather. Hey ho, I’ll live

[Suzi]

I'd quite like to move into my fridge actually.... Think Marc'd approve if I ask him to air con my house and garden? (rofl)(rofl) Stay cool love..

[OldMike]

In the States nearly everyone has AC with weather like this we could do with it.

Hope you managed to get some sleep last night Paula.

[Flo]

That’s exactly it, Suzi. There was a time I’d have loved this weather. Hey ho, I’ll live

I agree with you entirely! I used to love the heat, but now it just knackers me and makes me irritable!! My son has a slimline oscillating fan that you can't hear and he has it running all night..summer and winter!! I had one in my room when I stayed and looked after Sienna...they're great! Hope you get some decent sleep love it's at time like this when I'd like to be in a separate bed!.xx

[Angie]

I have a fan at home we are bit cold at work
though

[Paula]

We’ve got a fan but it sets my nerves on edge. My living room is normally cool as it’s north facing but it’s muggy even in here.

Never mind, it’ll be raining in no time and we’ll all be complaining about that ;)

[Suzi]

So apart from hot, are you OK?

[Paula]

Yeah, sort of. Worried about the meeting tomorrow and still don’t know what I’m going to do. And nervous about Saturday - we’ve got a stand at a local volunteer recruitment fair and I’m the lead trustee on that.

[OldMike]

(bear) (panda)

[Paula]

I’m cross. The charity has its biggest fundraiser in a few weeks. The lead trustees for that sent an email out yesterday giving out our jobs on the day. She’d put me down for Collection tins so the vice chair told her I need my leg elevated so needed to be at one of the stalls. She replied that I should bring a chair!

I’m afraid I let my temper get the better of me and told her I expected more from a disability charity and, if I wasn’t going to get it, I wouldn’t be involved in any more events

[Suzi]

I'm not surprised! How rude of her! What a completely hideous individual!

[Jaquaia]

I don't blame you! That's appalling! (panda)

[OldMike]

No wonder you were furious Paula it's a disability charity and they brush you aside with "bring a chair" (bear)

[Suzi]

How are you lovely?

[Paula]

Stressed tbh. (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear)s going to hit the fan at the board meeting tomorrow and I still don’t know what to do .....

[OldMike]

Wish I could advise you what to do for the best but I'm stuck for ideas. (panda)

[Suzi]

Pros and cons list?

[Paula]

It all hangs on how the meeting goes tomorrow

[Suzi]

What time's the meeting? Do you have a plan with your friend?

[Paula]

9.30am. She’s got a plan, mines still a bit muddled. Though Si told me earlier that it just wasn’t worth the stress

[Suzi]

You do seem to be really stressed out atm and I'm concerned for you xxx

[magie06]

I'm not sure if you need best of luck or various voodoo dolls, but I'll opt for the former. Good luck and I'll be thinking of you.

[OldMike]

Paula big (((hugs))) and much love to you (bear) (panda)

[Paula]

Paula big (((hugs))) and much love to you (bear) (panda)

Thank you, sweetie


I'm not sure if you need best of luck or various voodoo dolls, but I'll opt for the former. Good luck and I'll be thinking of you.

(rofl)


You do seem to be really stressed out atm and I'm concerned for you xxx

Yeah I know but I wanted so much to make this work

Thank you, all of you, I don’t know what I’d do without you

[Jaquaia]

You'd find a way through because you're awesome (panda)

[Suzi]

Hope it's going well, sorry to have missed you this morning, but I have been and still am thinking of you all morning

[magie06]

I hope the meeting went okay. Totally understand if you are now lying down in a dark room with a cool cloth over your face.

[Suzi]

Erm, you can't still be in that meeting? You OK Sparkles?

[Angie]

How are you hunni

[Paula]

I am Exhausted! And stressed. It was a horrible meeting. Everyone really snappy. Still, I’ve told them I won’t be attending the ‘bring a chair’ event. The last 45 mins was time the Chair yesterday told us was to deal with an urgent problem, unrecorded, but he didn’t say what it was. He wanted us all to talk about how he felt that we weren’t ‘feeling the love’ (he actually used Love Island as a reference - ie not feeling the love and we’re not islands). Predictably, it just turned into a platform for people to whinge and complain.

Everything is so hard. Case in point, the administrator came in during the last session and held up the folder that has signed Minutes in it (a legal requirement), getting arsey because the last minutes in there were for April and where were May’s (which is my job to sort)? The May minutes were in the Chair’s hand to sign! It’s petty and point scoring and really not what I need to be dealing with.

I don’t know what to do, I know I could do good but just feel so demoralised with it all

[Jaquaia]

I don't know what to suggest. It sounds like an impossible situation at the moment so will just leave hugs (panda)

[OldMike]

Gah isn't Love Island some ancient TV program.

The chair person sounds a real dick (as Jaq would say and she'd be right).

Hope you can wind down after such a horrid meeting (bear) (panda)

[Angie]

Oh hunni am not sure what to suggest right now but please can you rest tonight (bear)

[Paula]

Decision made, I’m resigning tomorrow. I don’t need this. I told my friend, who apologised for dragging me into it all which I think is telling

[Jaquaia]

You have to do what is right for you (panda)

[Suzi]

Given how stressed you've been with this I think it's the right decision. This is no reflection on you/your abilities etc, but on them. What a shameful bunch for a disability group...

Massive hugs though as I know you'll be taking it all personally - as I would.
What does Si say?

[Paula]

I talked, he listened and just said ‘resign then’. And, you know what? It really was that simple

[Angie]

Sweetie the amount of stress you have had with this it isnt worth the affects on your health I do agree that it is the right decision, this is also another reason I am trying to change jobs as things have changed a lot at my place this week not just the shifts there are a lot of unhappy agents and at least 4 or 5 on my department alone that want to leave

[Suzi]

I think you have to look at the bigger picture - the amount of time you've spent so far on trying to sort this place out is vast - the Paula hours, the time thinking about it, the time worrying about it and it's only been getting worse. How much time this week alone have you devoted to it and you aren't getting anything positive back at all and they couldn't even help you by trying to make you comfortable for this upcoming event where you were told to bring your own chair! That's disgusting.

[Paula]

In the past 2 weeks, I’ve worked every day except one. I realised that in the meeting yesterday and it made the decision a bit easier. I don’t have paid employment because I’m not well enough so certainly shouldn’t be doing voluntary work to that extent itms.

Still, a good day ahead, mum and dad are up as she’s got a hair appointment so I’m going with mum to the hairdressers then we’re all meeting at my brothers for (mums) birthday cake :)

[OldMike]

You've got so much to offer and they've treated you so badly, it's the right decision Paula (bear)

Have a great time with your mum and at your brother's and don't forget have a big slice of cake and maybe a little tipple ;)

[Flo]

Yes, it is the right decision Paula! Have a lovely day today with mum won't you?(bear)

[Suzi]

Hope you're having a wonderful day lovely! You definitely deserve it!
Working those hours when you aren't well enough to do so is only going to wear you down, exhaust you and cause you more issues! Definitely the right call. Have you written your resignation letter yet?

[Paula]

I’ve resigned but the Chair (as my Vice Chair States), ‘completely misunderstood most of what you said’. Paula and I are going to chat tomorrow at the volunteer recruitment fair I said I’d still honour but she said she’ll deal with the Chair any way I need her to

[magie06]

You deserve to relax for the rest of today. No matter how difficult the job it's still a very hard thing to hand your notice in. Well done!

[Suzi]

I agree. Rest please lovely.

[OldMike]

How are you today Paula? Hope you can do something nice for yourself today (panda)

[OldMike]

Heard this and thought of you Paula ;)

Especially this verse.


She's cute
She's kind
She's the coolest marsupial that you could ever find
She's sweet
She's smart
She's a smalla koala with a great big heart



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFifJzrL4Xs

Pity there isn't a koala smiley so a koala dressed as a panda will have to do (panda)

[Paula]

(rofl) that’s awesome!

Did you know, I was named after the song Hey Paula by Paul and Paula (don’t know if that’s their real names)?

https://g.co/kgs/JKCSJV