I have no idea what I'm doing, but hi. *SU, SH*

[Foxtail87]

Hello,

I thought I'd reach out and give this another go... I once signed up to a forum about 10 years go but found it difficult. I'm hoping this time will be more fruitful.

I have been in constant warfare with my own mind since about the age of 12 (I am 30 now) and struggle frequently with feelings of unfathomable despair which exacerbate to the point of a strong suicidal inclination - I used to blade myself often but (fortunately / unfortunately) that has become a rarity, as I no longer receive the same 'relief' from doing so...

I do not currently take medication even though I should, because it stifles my muse and blocks my capacity for art. Recently however, I have wondered if it's worth the sacrifice to enable me to actually get out of bed in the morning and not experience the sickening sense of dread in the pit of my stomach... "Another day".

I hope to meet and interact with whomever cares to listen and maybe even provide some support myself (if that's even possible.)

Thank you for reading.

All the best to you all.

[Suzi]

Hi and welcome to DWD. I think it's a really good idea to go and talk to your GP about how you are feeling...

[Paula]

Hi and welcome (hi). Is your creativity blocked by your mental health issues?

[Foxtail87]

Hi and welcome (hi). Is your creativity blocked by your mental health issues?

Thank you

I wouldn't say so. In some ways it actually fuels it and is bittersweet, though I'm reluctant to attribute any "positive" spin on my issues due to how absolutely crushing it can be.

The chemical interventions that I've submitted to however absolutely swallow that side of me := Not nice

[Suzi]

What art do you create?

[Foxtail87]

What art do you create?

Hi Suzi.

I am a musician and poet.

[Suzi]

OOO what do you play? Have you seen our creative section? We have had many people who write poetry ;)

[Foxtail87]

I play guitar, piano and sing terribly. If I feel up to it I'll submit something maybe.

[Suzi]

I bet you don't sing terribly at all!
Submit as and when you are feeling ready. There is no pressure here at all.