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black dog
09-12-17, 08:23 PM
Just wanted to say hi. I came across this forum today, it seems very friendly and although I don't know if it will help, I feel the need to reach out somehow.

I'm 48 and have been suffering with depression on and off for 12 years. I overthink things all the time, tend to worry, and have ocd. Over the past couple of years I have developed (social) anxiety quite badly too, to the extent that, other than going to work, I live in almost complete isolation. It freaks me out to go anywhere near crowds or small gatherings of people, not just strangers but also people I know. I am by no means shy or introverted, quite the opposite - which makes it difficult for me to work out what's causing this.

It feels like I am living almost like a recluse, locking myself in at home, cutting off all lines of communication, switching phone off - and although it makes me feel safe (this way I think people can't hurt me), at the same time it leads to loneliness and the ever-present fear that depression is never far away. My life is a complete paradox: I desperately try to integrate with people when my anxiety level is low, but can't wait to lock myself in as well. What's all that about?! It drives me nuts. I'm my own worst enemy! I'd be interested to hear if anyone else relates to this, and how they try to combat it.
Thanks for reading this.

Suzi
09-12-17, 09:41 PM
Hi and welcome to DWD. I think we are a really friendly place, but I'm probably biased! :)

ophelia
09-12-17, 10:27 PM
hi.

welcome to the site

OldMike
10-12-17, 12:34 PM
I totally agree with Suzi DWD is a very friendly place.

I suffer from social anxiety to some degree and that makes me want to isolate myself increasing the feeling of loneliness. Of late I do get out both on my own and with others which has helped me tremendously.

Paula
11-12-17, 11:48 AM
Hi and welcome. Honestly, your post could have been written by me! I’m like Jekyll and Hyde

Mad
19-12-17, 07:42 PM
Hi I also suffer with anxiety for 15 years I locked myself away in my bedroom away from my wife and kids but I was fine st work I don't understand it now my wife has left me it's hard to take in what I did for all them years do yes I do understand you very much here to talk if you want to