View Full Version : ask the oracle

18-11-17, 09:47 AM
it's time to....

ask the oracle

ask a question, and get a straight (or funny) answer

that answer depends on how the below poster wants to respond


why can't christmas be in summer in the UK

S deleted
18-11-17, 09:51 AM
Can Santa coming down the chimney in a mankini and shades is something the world ain’t ready to see

18-11-17, 09:59 AM
andn ow it's your turn to ask a question.

lol... I love your answer, too!

S deleted
18-11-17, 10:44 AM
Why are soft drinks so expensive in pubs?

18-11-17, 12:24 PM
To make you buy beer instead!

Why is my pond still losing water?

S deleted
18-11-17, 12:29 PM
Cos the neighbours are syphoning it off for their new frog bathing venture.

Why do we celebrate Christmas on 25th December?

18-11-17, 12:54 PM
because... it's close enough to the end of the year for it to be celebrated, but not so close that we're rushing to start new year

(I always thought halloween, christmas, bon fire night) they were little insentives put at the end of the year for those of us who perhaps have had a tough time

nice thought..

why do toasters have a setting to burn the toast, when no one (probably), would eat it?

18-11-17, 02:23 PM
Because most of these type of devices work best at the medium setting. Therefore most people will set them mid-way.

Why are TV's so narrow now when they used to be so fat?

S deleted
09-12-17, 11:55 AM
Technology has moved on and the components on an lcd screen tv are considerably smaller that the old tube TVs. There are now TVs which are less than 5mm in depth!

Why do people judge Christmas gifts based on money spent rather than the thought behind that gift?

09-12-17, 08:23 PM
Because they are basing their thoughts on completely the wrong things.

Why is Debbie Magee being consistently over marked in Strictly?

09-12-17, 09:22 PM
because these shows like strictly and X-factor tend to give more credit than needed to acts/ performances/ what ever

why don't the BBC ever advertise anything but their own programmes

10-12-17, 11:39 AM
In two words "self promotion"

Why do tubes of glue never stick what you want but manage to stick the cap on the tube with such force it takes pliers and a lot of swearing to undo the cap?

10-12-17, 01:17 PM
I think it's something to do with sod's law!

Why do some of the Christmas decorations come out of the box with stains on them, when all you ever do is put them onto the 'clean' tree?

S deleted
10-12-17, 01:23 PM
Sounds like something to do with storage throughout the year.

Why have I still not got round to buying a pair of wellies when promised myself to go get some about 3 yrs ago?

13-12-17, 09:24 AM
because life got in the way and you just never got round to it.

(happens to us all!)

why do they have casualty and holby city, when both shows are esentialy the same thing?

S deleted
13-12-17, 09:27 AM
An excuse to use up our licence fees.

Why is snow considered Christmasy?

13-12-17, 09:46 AM
it's probably because santa is from the northpole, the northpole is cold (and probably has a lot of snow), and all the children are told that he uses a sleigh, so they just pass it on from geniration to geniration that santa uses snow to get around

that, or frosty the snowman said so. lol

why do harry potter and friends use the hogwarts express. they are magic. why can't they just get their through the fireplace

13-12-17, 01:29 PM
That's easy, it's because you can't apparate inside the grounds of Hogwarts ;)

Why do they change books so much when they make them into movies?

13-12-17, 01:38 PM
Sorry, going back to the snow. It’s because it was the victorians who really started the whole ‘Christmas holiday’ thing, including introducing Christmas trees, cards etc. During the 19th century we had a mini ‘ice age’ and England had much harsher winters (people used to skate on the Thames). With the likes of Dickens et al, these harsher winters became embedded in Christmas lore

Movies have a more limited time period to get the plot through to the audience

Why did my postman leave a paper parcel on my doorstep in the pouring rain?

S deleted
13-12-17, 01:39 PM
Because it’s impossible to include all elements of a book into a 2 hrs movie. What works on paper doesn’t always translate well on the screen.

Why does this country fall apart when snow falls?

13-12-17, 06:06 PM
Because we rarely have snow, our infrastructure is not set up to cope - the funds are used elsewhere, in theory

Why are angels on top of the tree always p*ssed?

S deleted
13-12-17, 06:19 PM
Cos they got into the Christmas spirit, hic.

Who is gonna win SPOTY on Sunday?

13-12-17, 07:40 PM
Not me!

Why is it we still have no snow, but are now dealing with localised flooding???????

14-12-17, 12:36 PM
because the weather is so unpredictable

says one thing then does another
why are their so many fans of justin bieber

he's not all that really

S deleted
15-12-17, 06:40 PM
I’m sorry there is no answer to that question but im betting his US fans all voted Trump too lol

Why do modern cars have so many unnecessary gadgets these days?

16-12-17, 02:17 PM
because as technology advances, so do cars- and cars have all the latest technology because it's just how the world works. lol
why is london the capital of england. why not say newcastle, or liverpool or manchester

S deleted
16-12-17, 02:39 PM
London hasn’t always been the capital. Winchester, Oxford and Colchester have all been capital of England. I’m sure there are others too. I’m not 100% sure but I think the Romans first made London the capital city.

Why do the clocks go back and forward an hour?

16-12-17, 03:07 PM
The clocks change in the summer and winter as an energy saving measure introduced during the war. I think there is more to it regarding the farmers needing the most natural light for their animals or something but I'm not entirely sure.

Why does a 50 pound note only last as long as a twenty pound note would last a few years ago?