View Full Version : Setback *Triggers* *SU SH triggers*
Why didn't you say something earlier? You narna... (bear)
Haha! Narna.
Dunno, sleepy day I guess.
Oh hunni, I’m sorry yesterday was so bad. I know it seems an insurmountable road to climb but, if you continue putting my foot in front of another, you will get there. And, remember, you have us by your side every single step (bear)
Meh. Okay, Suzi.
Doctor was super nice today. Reassured me about meds and said not to worry about having to augment with something else. Weight the same as hospital discharge weight so I was relieved. Feeling flat, bored, disconnected. Just can't be arsed anymore.
You can be arsed as you are important love. I'm glad that the doctor was kind and that your weigh in wasn't bad.
Can you do something different to distract yourself from feeling rubbish? What about watching a movie?
Yeah, I keep myself busy enough. Can't concentrate so well today.
Was thinking of writing some poetry with some music on maybe.
S deleted
16-01-18, 01:52 PM
That sounds like a plan. I know when I get like that vegging out watching crappy tv is about all I can manage. You really are a very creative person.
Yeah same here Stella. Can't concentrate on anything though.
How's the rest of the day gone love?
Hey!
Yesterday was really good thanks, Suzi. I spent it with my little niece who is an absolute joy! Then I went to the theatre to see a show which was my Christmas present. It was awesome! So today, I have felt much more positive and motivated. I really do have a lot to be thankful for.
My GP suggested I volunteer at a self help recovery centre in my area. It's for dying cancer patients, those who are gravely ill, people of all ages with various mental and physical illness, children, and elderly people who don't have any family.
I went there today with my mother and the manager gave us a tour of the place! They offer holistic therapies for patients - reflexology, acupuncture, self hypnosis, Indian head massage, homeopathy, hydrotherapy and Bowen's therapy. The manager said that as a volunteer I would be able to help AND receive the treatments! He shared openly with me that he had PTSD and depression so I shared my depression so I shared about my mental health problems. The environment there was warm, accepting and non-judgemental.
They also have a sensory garden, their own Church, a bar and comfy lounge areas. The manager said I could help three days a week with the patients, cleaning, serving teas and coffees and with crafts and activities. He said, with time, that I could even learn to become a therapist there! He's invited me to come for the day next Tuesday!
Had a good day today. Got up and out. Went to Church, got all the cleaning done, went for a lovely walk, and used all my acupuncture and reflexology gadgets!
How are you today? Crash behaving....? Hehe!
Wow! That place sounds amazing! Yay! Not food based too! Well done! :)
Things are busy here, shattered! We have discovered by watching "Big Cats" that Crash barks at them - whether he's scared or guarding us we haven't worked out lol
That’s soinds like a wonderful centre :)
I know! I was well impressed!
Hahahaha Crash! Defo showing the big cats who's boss I reckon. ;)
So, how are you today lovely?
Hey!
Pretty good thanks! Had a lush day yesterday at the spa! A quieter one today. Rainy and cold here. Off to Church soon then Call The Midwife tonight which I love!
How are you? Nice weekend? X
Sounds like a lovely day - I've never been to a spa lol...
Aww you need to go, Suzi!! I absolutely love a spa.
Hi Hunni, glad you had a good spa day - there’s nothing quite like it :)
S deleted
21-01-18, 07:36 PM
I’ve been to a spa.
Droitwich Spa.
Absolutely spot on, Paula! (happy)
Hahaha, Stella! (giggle)
Quick update/ramble. ;)
Had a nice evening yesterday. Saw some familiar faces at Church that I haven't seen in ages and was asked if I would like to help out at the new youth club each week. I think this will be a lovely idea! :) Then came home for a cuppa and some telly. Call the Midwife was top notch. Chucked a hypnosis tape on and got a good snooze.
Productive one today. Up early, house sparkling, acupuncture and out early. Went to Church, did loads of what I needed to do, then a family friend popped in for a cuppa which was a nice surprise. Got myself a few new books from the library to start tonight, too.
I'm looking forward to going to the centre tomorrow.
Hope all is well with everyone!
Wow you've been really busy!
How's your mood doing lovely?
I need some acupuncture but my osteopath won’t treat me until we know what’s going on with my brain *she huffs*
Oh... *hands chocolates and backs away slowly*
Yeah! Keeping myself busy without exhausting myself! (giggle)
Mood has been pretty good! (clap) Bit flat now and again but nothing I haven't been able to overcome. I'm trying to go easy on myself accepting that everyone gets flat sometimes - perhaps because it's raining or they didn't sleep or it's just Monday morning! ;) I'm not putting pressure on myself that I must do things. It's okay sometimes if I want to do something other than what I had planned.
Hope you can get some acupuncture soon, Paula! (nod) xx
I love your post! So positively realistic itms lol ;)
That's a brilliant post hunnipie!
Hehe, it's the new me! (party)
It's good to see the positivity - but just as important to acknowledge the not so good stuff. The trick is to strike a happy balance...
Genius, Suzi! (Kiss)
That's what I've been trying to achieve for ages! It's tricky, but do-able I'm sure. (nod)
Struggling today.... :(
Had a weird appointment with the ED services. Basically got discharged with a BMI of 13. ^) I don't know what message that's supposed to give...? My anorexia was relieved but I did feel a bit tossed aside.
But I've made steps. Mainly for my mother's benefit. I swapped my usual snack for something I haven't eaten in months. Erm, that thing called 'actual food'. Okay, it was a bit of ham, tomatoes and a cheese string all calculated to the exact bloody calorie but at least I've moved on from just melon. It's a mini shuffle in the right direction.
Sadly the centre didn't work out. Turns out, their values and approaches clashed with my religion and I knew my head would relish at the opportunity to make me feel guilty for going there so I decided against it. My mother was relieved and everyone said I made the right choice for me. It caused me to dip in mood because I saw it as yet ANOTHER failed venture but something bloody else will come along I'm sure.
I feel a bit pointless if I'm honest. No purpose, no mental health support, no friends and the weight of depression crushing me to nothing. The meds have stilled my mind but my mood is FLAAAAAAT. :s I've been spending days on my own and feel detached from everything.
I feel my depression getting worse and wonder what the hell is going to happen to me exactly.
I wish I could just snap out of it. But I (swear) can't! I would have done so by now!
OMG you ate something different than melon?! That's bloody awesome! Well done love! I think that's a real achievement and you should be really proud.
In what way did the values clash with your religion lovely? Sorry it didn't work out though - it obviously wasn't meant to be lovely.
Discharged from the ED team? That's great, if you're well enough. What support do you have now?
Sorry you're struggling, but I'm really glad you are talking about it.
Yes, haha! It is positive. Thanks, Suzi.
Ah, there's a history behind some of the therapies that contradict the faith. Too much to get into. (think) It's an excellent centre though. Shame for me, but never mind.
Ohhh I'm nowhere near well enough. I'm only four pounds heavier than when I was admitted to hospital and my depression is getting worse if anything. Still, I'm strong enough without them. (punch) *laughs in the melons face* (giggle)
My support will be an hour of CBT twice a month and the GP who isn't connected to the services every four-six weeks.
Is there anyone you can talk to to challenge the decision?
Not really, Paula. Only other support they could give me would be the occupational therapist of doom that I had before hospital. Thee services are just stretched.
I don't know what others' experiences are elsewhere, but in adult services the MH Team seem happy to let you get on with it. We can't always help ourselves. Anorexia has similarities to an addiction.
Still, thank goodness for my family. And you guys.
Im seeing my therapist today so can ask for weekly sessions but she didnt seem keen on the idea before.
It seems counter intuitive to discharge you when you are still really poorly..
Yeah.... :( It's just the system.
It all came out in therapy today though. I didn't expect to rant but just couldn't help myself. I've just been so let down by the service. She helped me a lot. She also said she will see me weekly for the first ten of twenty sessions and that we can re-evaluate then. She was pleased with the work I did and said nobody had put in so much effort the first time like I had!
So, it's positive. Still feel a bit meh but better than I did a couple of hours ago.
That’s good news. Not the ideal solution but it’s a start. Sweetie, just remember that all the progress you have made is because of your motivation, your positivity, you did it all.
Thanks Paula. I'm not sure I would call it 'progress'. More like 'endurance'. I haven't yet lost.
I think it sounds positive with the counsellor...
Hey hunni, weve not heard much from you lately, so just wondering if you’re ok (bear)
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