View Full Version : Setback *Triggers* *SU SH triggers*
magie06
02-10-17, 10:57 AM
Good luck with the clinic later. Please don't hate me for this but maybe a little spell in hospital might be in order. They can keep an eye on you calorie intake and also monitor your calorie output. I know it's horrible and it's one of the worst things that can happen, but it is better than the alternative. Just putting my opinion out there.
No, told her I had one. I won't tell her, but I will drink the next one scheduled with her later. One won't hurt. Besides, the sink was thirsty!
Thanks Magie. I'll let you know how it goes today.
I would never hate you for saying that! Generally, I have this supervision in place at home now and we're seeing how it goes. I know hospital may be what it comes to but I'm working so hard to stay OUT and so far so good!
magie06
02-10-17, 12:03 PM
I agree, so far so good. It seems that our weight gives us problems no matter whether we are under weight or over weight. This year I cancelled an appointment with someone to do with getting my stomach stapled. I'm 5 stone over weight but I used to be 7. I lost 2 stone about 2 years ago and since June I've lost almost a stone. It's coming off but it's very slow. However I'm determined this time to lose it. I've a significant birthday coming up and I plan on not being this size for that birthday.
Yeah, it's not about the weight or the food really. It's more about finding the what and why behind our behaviours.
Well done on the weight loss and that's great that you're motivated to lose the weight for YOU and not because you feel you 'should'. You can definitely do it. Don't be too hard on yourself though, who we are is so much more than a number on the scales.
Oo exciting about the big birthday! Congrats!
Just went to the clinic. Turns out I lost half a kilo?! We were shocked because I've taken in MORE and done NO activity over the weekend. (other than the one drink I didn't have today but that wouldn't have done it) The OT wanted to admit me to hospital but saw that I really had worked SO hard over the weekend and has given me ONE last chance until Wednesday when I'm weighed again. If it goes down Wednesday, they will have no choice but to admit me.
The OT also said I MUST be kind to myself. She said I have to get up, showered and dressed every day and that I must not punish myself in any way.
magie06
02-10-17, 03:59 PM
What a shame! Look after yourself for the next couple of days and hopefully things will be okay on Wednesday. Thinking of you.
How have you lost weight by increasing the drinks, and not doing anything active?
Thanks Magie, I will. Feeling much better today than the weekend actually! I'm sure all will be okay by Wednesday. You take care xx
Absolutely no idea, Suzi! We were all a bit stunned!
It could be that (and not to be crude) I had lost weight the, ahem, 'natural' way... If you know what I mean... And my stomach had been a bit poorly after restricting and refeeding on repeat.
Otherwise, burning calories by stress caused by the weekend? Unless concentrating on the painting so intently burns calories in the same way revising for long periods can?
Failing that, no clue. Not a bad way to lose weight though - eat more, do less. It will be all the rage! Lol xx
I wish it worked for me!
Seriously love, I'm worried that you aren't going to be honest about missing the drink today. The only way you are going to get through this is to work with those around you. They aren't doing it for any other reason but that they genuinely want to see you get better... You can do this. Even if no one is watching you, you can do this.
I think it would be everyone's preferred method of weight loss!
I won't mention the drink as it wasn't the cause of the weight loss. You're right that I should be able to do it even when people aren't watching. I will continue to comply though, difficult as it is.
So what happens when you don’t mention the next one or the one after that, and everyone gets worried why you're still losing weight despite your ‘compliance’?
True, which is why I've asked for supervision at home. I cant do it alone. It was a one off today. I really have been trying so hard and I have complied. Support for all drinks and snacks is in place all of this week.
Morning love... Hope you're feeling brighter today. How's the painting going on?
Morning Suzi!
How are you today?
Thanks for checking in on me, hun. Feeling brighter - up, dressed, showered and out on the bus to buy some treats for my brother and sister in law. Popping over there tomorrow.
Painting is going great thanks! Nine pots done already for the charity stall and I bought eight new terracotta pots yesterday!
How's the drinks going love?
Your stall is going to look amazing! :)
Cheers, Paula! :)
Hey, Suzi!
Drinks are shake-tastic! Drank one before my mam left for work today and told her I need to do that because the temptation is otherwise too strong to chuck them! She was glad I was honest. Yesterday's missed shake was just a little slip-up!
Ah why thank you! Just made a HUGE pot of spiced apple chutney. Making a big batch of spicy apple, chilli and ginger chutney then tomorrow! Just need to decorate the jars like Rudolph after that!
Currently painting my tenth pot.... I really AM becoming Buddy the Elf. ;)
Hope you're having a nice day your end, hun! Thanks for checking in on me xx
Sounds like you've a proper cottage industry going on!
Well done on the shakes lovely!
Hehehe! I'm loving it, Suzi!
I'm painting one pot a day at this rate! And my mother's picking more apples today for chutney. My dad bless him ordered 50 jam jars last night! I'll be going into business soon haha!
In all seriousness though, I'm getting such pleasure from this and a real sense of achievement! I love being creative. I'm quite seriously thinking after the charity event in November of looking into running a stall once a month at a local Farmer's Market! I'd sell pots, pies, pickles, preserves and a piece of cake!
magie06
04-10-17, 12:17 PM
That sounds like a brilliant idea. Something to aim for and they are not the words of someone who wants to quit. Well done and good luck at the clinic today. Thinking of you.
Yeah, definitely right there Magie!
It's actually very do-able and my sister-in-law has been wanting to do something like this for ages, too! She's an awesome cook!
Thanks for the well wishes. The OT was SUPER positive today and really encouraging and positive. She definitely had her Weetabix this morning! My weight went up a scrap and my bloods improved slightly. She was really proud of me.
Just picked up some alternative snacks to branch out a tad from ASDA and now I'm meeting my baby niece and her other Nanna in McDonalds for a cuppa. (Minus the Big Mac for me. Let's not push it now haha!) Then back home for more painting!
Also had a good therapy session this morning and addressed things I didn't want to look at. Therapist didn't charge me either!
Hope all is well your end xx
Wow! Well done you gorgeous! Have you managed the shakes today too?
That’s fantastic News! Well done, lovely :)
Thanks Suzi and Paula!!
Yes, managed all the shakes again!
EPIC! Well done love! So proud of you!!
magie06
04-10-17, 08:25 PM
That's brilliant. Well done you.
Wow! Just had some great news this morning all!
I called the Farmers Market to enquire about running a stall in a local market town. They explained that I would need a license to sell any food BUT that I could sell my flower pots straight away! I have time to arrange being able to sort the formalities for selling food though, too.
They said I could come along and sell in one of their events Christmas time! Really excited about this!
S deleted
05-10-17, 10:47 AM
Sounds great!
That's really brilliant news! Well done lovely!
Thanks all! So exciting! Just painted another pot! Already keen to start the next one... Haha!
Clinic today. Weight went down a smidge to what it was on Monday and there was a slight deterioration showing in my bloods. Sigh. Seems never ending! Bloods also showed something new that indicates my liver is struggling. Going to switch off and enjoy the weekend before I have to go back to the clinic and have more bloods on Monday.
They're still querying hospital but trying to keep me at home where I'm happier. They're not happy with me looking into work yet so have told me to keep busy building up my stock for the stall and market! Perhaps I can twist their arms if I find a part time office job that's a bit more gentle? I really need an outlet outside of this!
Otherwise, my mood is good and I've got a nice weekend planned. Painting has made this week fly by! Tummy's a bit icky from the shakes but it is what it is.
You will find an outlet but, hunni, you really need to get well first. I know how upsetting it is - I’ve spent years trying all sorts of different ways to cope with work - but you have to be good to yourself and be strong enough to deal with Work. Can you use that as motivation to take in more shakes?
Why do you think your weight is down?
magie06
06-10-17, 03:13 PM
Bad luck on the results today. You have such a positive outlook to this whole process and you will beat it. Can I do anything to help?
I know, Paula. No use working if it won't, erm, 'work-out'. That will only reinforce my feelings of being a 'failure' and will give my head more opportunity to beat myself up about it.
I've looked into working from home but nothing seems that legitimate, really....
Not sure about the weight. Think they're just weighing me too often because weight fluctuates! It wasn't a big loss or anything. Tomorrow it could be back up. Seems kind of futile weighing three times a week!
Thanks, Magie.
Yeah, got to just keep going and keep trying really!
Just knowing there are people there who care and who are encouraging me is really nice and reassuring. Thanks xx
You are loved and cared about love. Are you still taking all the shakes? Honestly? What about adding in food of some description?
Hey Suzi!
I had one off day yesterday shake-wise but that wouldn't have affected the weight and not the bloods as they were taken before I de-shaked.
I've had to add a tiny yogurt to my fruit. I did do that tonight but know that I'll end up decreasing the fruit to make up for the yogurt!
Thanks for the kind words, hun.
I wasn't asking because of your weight per se, I was asking as I know it's something you are finding hard, and I wanted you to remember that others respect that...
So... When do we get to see the pots? You seem really busy with them and I'd love to see them.
Thanks, Suzi. It is really damned hard sometimes to do what I really do not want to do but I'm trying so hard and I don't kick up a fuss about it.
Sometimes I feel my family don't think what I'm doing is good enough, but I just know it's because they wish I could be better tomorrow! I know they care and just want me well.
I'll post some pics next week for definite! I'm off apple-picking (smuggling!) tomorrow with my auntie at a nearby park to get ready for my chutney-making!
You are doing so well. You can beat this, I have every faith in you!
Thank you. That's really kind of you to say.
Struggling today, though. Complying makes my mood worse so I'm less likely to do things I enjoy and go out. Got the anxiety of Monday clinic hanging over me just like last weekend, plus my mother told me yesterday she is coming into my appointment and telling them she wants me to be hospitalised. Cheers, mother. Makes complying feel even more pointless.
Currently staying with my auntie as my parents are away and she's promised my mother to make sure I comply. I usually love being here, but I just want to go home and switch everything and everyone off and paint because it blocks it all out. My auntie's offered to come stay at my house with me, but I'd feel guilty she'd be bored. Even though I'm bored to pieces here!
Also feel ill today. Massive stress headache and so tired.
Sweetie, I know you’re not going to like this but, if I was your mum, I’d be doing exactly the same. You’re desperately ill and she’s terrified she’s going to lose you. Any mum would do whatever it takes to keep her baby safe, even if that means keeping her baby safe from herself.
Thanks, Paula.
You're right. My Mother's saved my life from this twice before and I mean that literally!
I know my mood will pick up Monday with the relief that I've been to the clinic and it's over with. I'm fed up of this endless cycle of operation hospital-prevention, relief, mood swings, anxiety, days in bed, self-punishment and reluctant compliance.
I just need to get through tonight and tomorrow, then I can go home and paint and go Monday.
I have to say I'm with Paula and I'd be moving heaven and earth to save your life - in some ways to save you from yourself. We're lucky, we're just getting to know you and I know that you are amazing and well worth saving - that the world is a much, much brighter place with you in it. I know that things feel tough and probably a bit "only focussed on complying" rather than living.... I know that's got to be suffocating - but do you know what? There's loads of time to do all the amazing things that you have to come once you've stopped having to focus on this...
You can get through this weekend - why not write some poetry or a short story?
Thank you so much. That's really supportive and trust me it means a lot to me. Thanks for your kind words.
Sometimes it's hard to believe this is all actually happening. It's like I'm lost in my head or a bubble. Yeah, guess it's just going to be a long process. One day at a time.
I've tried writing as my therapist asked me to do four poems. I've gotten all my thoughts and feelings out, but couldn't write a poem on it. My head feels squashed in. Feeling really weirdly unwell, too. I've got a great book I'm hooked on though
Don't forget though that poems don't have to rhyme or have a set pattern or even form verses... Go with it as it comes.
What's the book?
I know. I think my head just isn't in the right frame to get it out on paper, if that makes sense? But thanks.
Book is called Safe House. It's a psychological thriller. It's good!
That makes total sense. When I’m struggling mentally, I just can’t focus - even on those things I normally love to do.
How are you feeling this morning?
Yeah, although I can do the painting regardless of the mood.... It's funny on reflection as the more challenging my mood the more creative and wacky the flower pot and the better my mood the brighter and more subtle the flower pot!
I'm okay. Just want to go home and get today over with if I'm honest. Stomach is killing me but trying to ignore that. I'll be alright though.
Hm..
Just started filling my supplement bottles with water, too. My stomach just hurts too much to drink them.
Sorry do you mean you are drinking your supplements, then adding in more measured amounts of water? Or that you are binning the supplements and hiding that fact by filling them with water?
Yeahh... Binning and filling with water.
My stomach is just hurting so bad. I think I could be having refeeding symptoms.
Just got off the phone with my mother. We think I'll probably end up in hospital very soon. I really don't want this but at the end of the day even when I've complied it's been hell and having to play hospital-prevention and go to the clinic three times a week is only filling my weeks with anxiety, fear, dread and depression.
The quibbling over tiny weight fluctuations is tiresome, but the fact that my bloods are showing abnormalities and my stomach is hurting so much and that I haven't had a period since last Christmas is more of concern.
Plus mentally, I'm not even able to see the issue. I don't even view myself as anorexic and don't get what the fuss is all about. I'm very tired mentally and physically.
I don't understand how I've gotten to this state whilst being under the eating disorder services for the last four months?! I'm giving it this week for weigh-ins, more bloods and to meet with the clinical lead of the gastric ward of the hospital, but if there's still no change I think I may have to be admitted.
magie06
08-10-17, 03:52 PM
Oh my goodness. That last post doesn't sound like your normal self. Are you admitting to yourself that you need help? I say if they offer you a bed tomorrow, that it might be a good idea. Just until you get some energy back and are able to control your eating yourself. Will you be allowed your Internet while in hospital? Will you be able to contact us?
Yeah, Magie.... I'm usually so positive and upbeat.
I was just at my auntie's house and the paramedics pulled up in the street for one of the neighbours. Then my parents came to pick me up and when my mam saw the emergency response ambulance and instantly thought it was for me. She was so upset that we had to leave immediately.
You may well be right about hospital. I'm clearly not coping alone even though I have been trying to hard. My auntie said to me perhaps my mother's reaction was a wake up call for me to see just how serious things have become. My parents are clearly incredibly worried and the services have been on about hospital for a couple of months. Plus I feel pretty ill lately despite doing nothing and taking in more nourishment.
Not sure about the internet connection. Probably will be allowed. I'll definitely keep you updated when I can. X
magie06
08-10-17, 05:12 PM
Oh no. You poor thing. Is there anything you would like me to do? I know it's difficult and I imagine that it's horrible for anyone who goes through that. I'm thinking of you a lot and I really hope that you have the strength and health to beat this.
I am so proud of you. Admitting that you need more help is a massive step (different reasons but I’ve been there). Can you do something for me? Can you please be completely honest about how often you’re ditching the shakes and replacing with water? I know that’s going to be hard but, to help you fully, your parents need to know exactly what’s going on.
You’re so brave Hunni and I know you’ll get better (panda)
You are amazing. You are so brave. I just want to reach in and hug you and hug you and not let you go... And I'm not your Mum! I'd be bloody proud of you if I was though.
I'm with Paula - please be honest about binning the shakes love.
Will you let us know how you get on tomorrow?
Thank you everyone. Your kind words and support really mean a lot.
I spoke to my mam about hospital just now. I think everyone seems to think it's the best option for me. I don't have a quality of life living this way.
My mother hugged me and said crying 'I don't want to lose you'. If I can't do it for me, I can do it for her. She's amazing. I won't mention the water shakes as I know it will only upset her and now I'm more open to hospital and having others get me well so I think telling her would only upset her more. I could tell her if I'm in hospital though, I just don't want to further upset her.
I will definitely let you all know how I get on tomorrow.
Thank you all again so much xxx
I promise you that you being open and honest will her will be much better than anything she's already thinking.... Tell her lovely, she's amazing and she deserves it as much as you deserve the help and support.
I can't tell her now, Suzi.. But I am currently drinking a supplement and watching telly with her. The water thing won't happen again. She's coming with me tomorrow, too.
Thank you xx
magie06
09-10-17, 07:59 AM
Best of luck for today. Thinking of you.
Thinking of you today gorgeous..
Huge hugs sending your way, lovely (panda)
Thanks ladies!! Means a lot!!
Despite more nutrition and no activity this weekend, I lost a kilogram today and my bloods are showing abnormalities. They said it's because the nutrition is going straight to my organs that I'm not gaining the weight.
First thing the OT said to me was that what I've been doing 'was not good enough'. Feeling not good enough is at the very root of why I first went into my eating disorder so after hearing this, I flipped. I told her I felt let down by the service. My mother was at my side and let me rant away, bless her!
I'm meeting with the clinical lead of the hospital ward tomorrow to discuss options. I really don't want a feeding tube so we are going to discuss if things can be done orally and at home. My mother wants me to be at home too, but if the doctor says it's best I'm in hospital then so be it. I'm prepared for it now.
Just had a bone scan and more bloods. Fun times!
Feeling okay though. I just want my life back now
Oh hunni... I'm sorry that it's not going how you need it to. Did you open up about the water substitution? The pain?
Are you OK love?
magie06
09-10-17, 09:17 PM
This is not the way you wanted it to turn out but the ball is in your court now. You know how to get better because you've done it before. You've been here twice before and twice before you've beaten this and got healthy again. I believe in you and I know you can beat this again. Good luck tomorrow and I'll be thinking of you.
Hey Suzi!
Ah, it's okay. It is what it is!
I didn't say about the water thing because it was a slip that won't happen again, especially as I'm probably going into hospital this week.
I've said about the pain, though. It's okay.
I'm doing alright, though. Was a tad cheesed off tonight but painted another pot (addicted, yes!) and watched some TV with my dad and I feel okay.
I will let you know the result of tomorrow. Hopefully I can stay at home and avoid a tube.
Thanks for the support again x
That's true, Magie.
Thank you for being so nice. Means a lot.
Really don't want to go to hospital but I'll see what happens. I want out of this current situation. I will get well again.
Take care x
Morning!
Ah, a bit meh my end. Reeeeeeeeeally don't want to go to hospital and have a feeding tube.
But I'm accepting of it. I'm not going to kick up a stink and get sectioned, like! No point prolonging things eeeeeven further, hey?
Hoping that another option will be possible - drinking a supplement diet at home (lived this way previously for nine months) being the preferred option. Failing that, drinking them in hospital. Otherwise, my mother works in healthcare and said I could have a feed through the stomach at home, but not sure how I'd feel about that at home rather than hospital. Worse case scenarios would be a night tube feed in hospital but home in the day, then tube at home (have done this before) then a tube in hospital.
Not like I've thought it through or anything.... Haha!
I'll know by this afternoon anyways.
Thinking of you, hunni. Ultimately the important thing is getting you well (panda)
magie06
10-10-17, 12:38 PM
The most important thing in all of this is getting you well again. No matter what happens in the afternoon don't forget that you have beaten this before, you can do it again.
Good luck.
Thank you, ladies.
You're totally right. On the way now. Will let you know how I go. X
How are things lovely? What was decided? How are you?
Clinical lead explained I've gotten to the stage where my illness needs to be treated as a physical condition more so than a mental condition. I need to go to hospital for tube feeding.
Got to wait for a call for a bed this week and will be in a minimum of two weeks.
The clinical lead was lovely, though. She insisted I bring my pots and paints!
It's okay. I mean, it's crap but I'm accepting of it. It is what it is.
Thanks for all your support ladies. Xxx
magie06
10-10-17, 05:05 PM
Just because you are in hospital doesn't mean that you can shut us up. Lol. We'll still be here to give you advice you don't need and waving the pom poms from the window.
Well I should hope you will be around, you lovely lot!! Last thing I'd want to do is shut you up! You're all so lovely and supportive!
Thank you, Magie. I will have 4G on my phone so we can keep in touch!
I have to say I’m relieved. I know Hospital is never something any of us want but whatever it takes to get you well. Well done for dealing with today so well :)
Thanks, Paula.
Yeah, that's true hun. And I mean, hospital isn't thaaaat bad. Like, I'm not going to prison or anything haha!
I'll keep my chin up.
You're so amazing. You need this extra help and support. I'm really glad you are taking your pots and paints! What's your Mum say about it?
Aw thanks, Suzi!
Yeah, I know...
Well I'd be lost without my pots and paints! Haha!
Aw, my mum was so upset bless her. Just hugged me and sobbed and said she loves me. She doesn't want me to go and have a tube but she's relieved and so supportive.
I want the help now. I'm tired of it!
Good. I'm pleased that you are realising that you need the help lovely.
magie06
11-10-17, 10:25 AM
How are things today? Any word on a bed? I hope that they treat you right when you get there. You deserve the first class treatment, red carpet all of that.
Morning!
It's a bit surreal. I've had a lovely morning with my mother out to Church, bought her a coffee, bought some more pots... But all the while I know I'm going in for tube feeding any time soon. Double life!
No news yet. I hope it will be tomorrow morning or Friday morning rather than today! Bit scared about the tube, but accepting of it.
Hehe red carpet, oh yes!!
How was the rest of the day? I think you're amazing to accept this and go for it.
Thanks Suzi.
I don't have a choice really. It is what it is.
Actually had a lovely day! Time flew by painting away and I made some spiced apple chutney and hot beetroot and carrot chutney with my mother.
I'm a little bit scared about hospital though - especially the tube!!
Maybe your day was lovely as the decision about hospital has been made and it isn't hanging over you as a threat or something really negative? I'm not surprised you are worried about the hospital lovely.
That chutney sounds delicious!
Any news on when you're going in?
Hi ladies!
Yeah, it doesn't feel like a threat now and I'm accepting it because if I refused they would section me and I don't need that, obviously!
Still nervous though. Bit worried about being alone there and having the tube up the nose and such. It's okay though....
Playing the waiting game again today. No news. Packed up my paints ready but I need to keep busy so I'm going to make more chutney for my stall.
Fiery carrot chutney and then a rustic tomato chutney with chilli, fresh basil and chives. They'll be delicious by Christmas time and I'll be ready to eat them by then, too!!
Thanks for checking in on how I'm doing xx
Those sound amazingly delicious!
You are sounding more positive about it lovely - have you spoken it all over with your Mum?
magie06
12-10-17, 12:50 PM
You sound a lot more positive today. Well done I know it can't be easy. Your chutney's sound lovely. (Or for someone who likes chilli and spices they would be delicious, but I only like 'plain food'.)
Chutney making went out the window! Aw the hotter the better for me, Magie!
Got a call that a bed is available. Initially said I couldn't go but after a sob and talk to my mam, I know the best option is to just go in rather than prolonging it so we're on the way.
Wish it hadn't got to this but sooner I'm in sooner I'm out.
Good luck gorgeous. I'm so proud of you for taking this opportunity to get well.. We'll be with you in spirit and thoughts love.. You are amazing. You can do this.
magie06
12-10-17, 03:49 PM
You better keep us informed or we will be all over the internet looking for you. (panda)
Thank you so much!! (panda)
Well, I'm finally here in hospital! The tube was a totally horrible experience. I initially refused out of fear because of memories of having it as a young child, but my dad was with me and despite being awfully squeemish, he was amazing! The staff are all so kind, reassuring and helpful. I'm staying in a nice ward with three quiet old ladies and a nice sea view. There are two day rooms where I can paint and visiting is all day from 12pm-8pm.
I was very emotional with my dad just now. I think it was all the emotions of this last year hitting me at once with the fear and feeling that hospital was a threat hanging over me and the sheer relief that the tube got passed and that hospital is not a jail sentence! I looked at myself in the mirror tonight with my gaunt face, feeding tube and mobile stand pumping juice into me and couldn't believe it has come to this.
This is end of the road anorexia, you know? And I realised that from here the only way is UP. It's still very surreal and I cant quite believe I'm here.
I'm feeling exhausted. I think I will be asleep soon and I hope I will feel more settled, accepting and fresher in the morning.
I hope all is as well as it can be with you lovely ladies.
Take care and thank you xxx
Sweetheart, I hope you know that we all think you’re truly wonderful and brave and so deserving of a great life. This is just a means to an end, it’s just a temporary blip in your story. You’re going to get better and will go on to do absolutely incredible things with your life :)
magie06
12-10-17, 10:01 PM
You need to get well for yourself. You take care of you and we'll talk again tomorrow.
Aww thank you, Paula! (panda)
Your kind words mean a lot! Bit of a realisation getting to a low point like this that I need to get well and live my life!
The worst is over now. New day today.
Hope you have a good day your end x
Thank you, Magie. Means a lot!
Just going to take each day as it comes. Konked out early last night and had a pretty good sleep. Up, showered, unpacked and reading my book now. The worst has passed.
Take care and thanks for checking in on me xx
magie06
13-10-17, 09:09 AM
When I was in hospital, I sometimes had to break down the day into hours. What can I do to pass the next hour and so on. The days could look after themselves once I knew what I was going to do to get through the hour after I got up, the hour before lunch and even the hour in the afternoon that everyone seemed to disappear.
I'll be thinking of you later and hope that today goes well for you. Take care and do lots of painting.
Yeah, that's a good way of doing it Magie because the days are long and I know I'll be here at least two weeks.
But it's okay, I'll get there.
Take care x
AT least 2 weeks? OK that's time to get you much better! That will be brilliant.
You are right, up is definitely the right direction. You can do this, you can get some painting done and it's good you're in a room with just a few people lovely.
Yeah, bloody ages Suzi! But there's a lady opposite me who's been here on bed rest for eight weeks!
I'll crack on with some painting later I reckon! My mam's bringing some newspaper today so I don't make a mess haha!
Worse things to be than bored, aye?
There is a distraction thread in the fun and games section here, or you could write a NaNoWriMo novel? Write your memoires part 1?
magie06
13-10-17, 08:28 PM
How was your day? Did you get loads of painting done?
Thanks Suzi! You're now the third person who's said that I should now start writing about my experiences!!
Morning Magie!
Yesterday was better than the day before thanks! Had a lovely visit with my mother and father. Bless them, they are so supportive! My mam brought me new slippers and cosy socks and some ice cold lemonade. Lovely!
I was a bit teary with them because I felt like I just wanted to go home! But I was okay after a tear and a cuppa.
I slept like a log last night, finished two awfully trashy magazines from my 86-year old patient neighbour and finished off my book this morning. My auntie phoned me for a natter and I've had lots of lovely texts and messages from my family and you lovely lot!
Just about to finally start my painting now! I'm feeling much more settled! (could do without the horrible stench coming from a patient with urinary problems opposite though hahaha but that's hospital life, hey?) Hehe!
Have a good day all xxx
magie06
14-10-17, 10:09 AM
Are you taking anything to help you sleep? Or is it that you've relaxed a bit and sleep is coming more naturally to you? The only reason I ask is that my sleep is one of my first triggers. If I'm not sleeping properly then my mood starts to slip.
Thanks Suzi! You're now the third person who's said that I should now start writing about my experiences!!
Then maybe you should? :)
I'm glad you're having lots of visitors, phone calls and lovely texts. You are so lovely that you deserve to have!
How are you feeling now lovely? Staff nice?
Hey Magie,
Not taking anything to sleep, no.
I'm the same with sleep. If I don't get enough, my mood really suffers. Over-sleeping is a sign my depression isn't in a good place and when I'm unwell I usually just sleep loads!
Think in this case it's just mental exhaustion and relief another day has passed!
Hey Suzi!
Yeah, think it might be good to scribble down some feelings!
Staff are lovely. I'm struggling today though... Been reading and painting and texting and had visitors but I just really, really want to go home now. A minimum of two weeks is such a long time in here.
Sorry to moan, just feel a bit down this evening.
Hey Paula!
Thanks for checking in on me, everyone!
I know what you mean, I was on a psych ward for a month and it felt like 6. BUT. If it means you can go home on the way to recovery, it’s worth every moment (bear)
Oh sweetheart! I'm sorry you're struggling today love, but you really are in the best place. It's so important to get you well, you really are so special.
magie06
14-10-17, 10:46 PM
Have a hug to help you through the night. (panda)
Some days are easier to get through than others. Keep doing what you are doing, the time will pass, you will really have to take this hour by hour. Try writing down your thoughts, it doesn't matter if it's on the back of a receipt, in a copy book or in a diary, the words will come anyway and it might help you pass a little bit of time. I started keeping a diary while I was in the psych ward and although I didn't have anything official to write in, it was just a copy book, the words came and now when I want to see how far I've come, they come out and I re-read the words that I put there. It's my story and no one else will ever see it, but it's very important to me and I'll never throw those copies out. They are kept in a special box and I know that I can put my hand on them anytime I want.
Keep talking and writing here and in your diary, and talk to the people that are there to help you.
Thanks Paula.
You must be remarkably strong to have come through your hospital experience. I'm so pleased you're in a better place now.
Yeah, the experience won't be forever and each day here is one day less here! Can't wait to get back home and make sure I don't end up back here again.
Thanks Suzi,
My mood is suffering a lot. I just want to pull my duvet over my head and shut the world out. Feel so flat and empty like I could just stare at the wall. I've slept loads but I'm knackered.
Going to paint now anyways and I have more visitors later.
Haven't really got any choice in being here. If I refused, they would only have sectioned me.
Trying to stay positive x
Thanks Magie!
The hug must have helped me sleep - I was flat out last night!! Haha!
Really thanks for that advice. Writing helps me get it out and I like the idea of it being 'just for me' because then I can just write what's inside and it doesn't even matter if it sounds like a load of crap and waffle haha!
Your advice for breaking down the hours of the day has helped me, too. Certain times for certain things. I try to look forward to my early morning shower when nobody else is awake, the evening time when I have my pyjamas on and know that another day is coming to an end, 9am when I can start painting after medication and blood tests have been done and of course the time when my visitors come!
Am going to ask my visitors if we can go down to the coffee shop sometimes, too. Just makes things more normal and gives me some breathing space.
Sending a hug right back at you! Xxx
magie06
15-10-17, 09:41 AM
You are doing great. Yes of course there are times when it would be lovely to stay in bed and pull the duvet right up over your head, but that gets you nowhere. What you're doing, getting up, getting on with things is going to serve you better in the end. You are getting stronger every day. You have shown such strength of character since all this started. You are getting there. Don't worry. I really admire you.
Hey chicky, sorry you're feeling rubbish. I'm glad you've got things to do and lots of visitors! Going to the coffee shop sounds like a good plan. Get off the ward for a bit. Does the hospital have a garden that you could go and sit in or go for a walk some time?
Thank you, Magie!
What a lovely and encouraging message!! You're right, just got to keep on going!
I will get there and when I get out of here I need to do all I can to make sure I don't end up back here!
Thanks, Suzi.
Yeah, my brother gave me his Netflix password too so I can chuck on a film sometime.
No garden area unfortunately, but just went to the coffee shop now with some visitors and it was nice to get off the ward! My tube feeding stops between 2.30-6.30 so during this time I could pop downstairs, get a trashy magazine, get some fresh air and go to the cafe if I'm with some visitors. Breaks it up a bit.
Just be really glad to be home and get on with my life. It's hard because my mood is low and when the visitors leave I feel even more that I want to be home with them doing normal things!
How are you doing physically?
Oh sweetheart... I'm sorry you're finding it tough, but you know that this is for the greater good blah blah... I'm glad you're getting out into the cafe today - that's got to help a bit love. What about your other wardfellows? Have you been able to talk to them and get to know them a bit? Netflicks - awesome, start binging on box sets!
Actually Suzi the day panned out really well.
Getting out into the coffee shop helped definitely! I'll do that again tomorrow, too!
Netflix didn't work but I have Iplayer so that's a happy substitute!
Hi Paula!
Physically, my weight has been increasing gradually because I'm receiving the best nutrition for me through the feed they're giving me. My blood pressure was the best it's been so far yesterday and they are able to take my bloods easily each morning now. I'm meeting with the doctors today so hope to get some clarity on how long they want to tube feed me and what requirements need to be met for me to be discharged. My mother and auntie both said I looked brighter yesterday too.
Only thing I'm struggling with physically is the tube. It's causing discomfort and the feeling of being full from the feed is a bit unpleasant for me but I trust the medical staff here completely and know they're doing what's needed to get me well. It will be nice to get the tube out and be able to take things orally (even if that predominately means supplement drinks) but for now the slow feeding if the tube is the safest way to re-feed me without me getting ill because I had so severely restricted.
Are you talking to them? Telling them how you are feeling and that it's uncomfortable? Can they do anything to help with that?
What's the plan for today?
Saw the doctor today. She prescribed tablets for nausea. Told her my mood was low and she said just say if I ever feel I need to talk to someone. The doctor said a minimum of two weeks and couldn't promise me a set date, understandably. I really, really hope it will only be two weeks!! She also said they don't have a specific target weight or number for me so that I can leave and that they are more concerned about seeing improvement! I really liked this approach because the ED services have always been obsessed with numbers!
The nurse re-taped my tube and it feels much more comfortable!
Having a much better day so far. Slept well, painted ANOTHER Rudolph pot, have had two visitors and now I'm going to start my new book before my mam comes to visit. When she comes, we can pop off the ward together for a bit and maybe I'll pick up a magazine.
Tonight, I'll watch a bit of telly and then that's day five DONE!
You are amazing! I'm so proud of you for talking to the Dr - who sounds fab. Really lovely, hold on to each positive. xx
Thanks everyone!!
Seeing the clinical lead doctor tomorrow who is excellent and very specialised.
Good! Make sure you ask any questions you have - maybe write a list?
magie06
16-10-17, 09:22 PM
Good luck tomorrow. You'll do great I'm sure of it. You have been amazing and anything that has been thrown at you, you have come out the other side with a great big smile on your face. I can see it from here. Honestly!! Hugs for tomorrow. (panda)
Cheers, Suzi!
That's a good idea. She's really lovely and so positive. I much prefer the medical approach to treating this illness than the negative approach of the ED services. When I am discharged, I'm going to ask if I can work with someone other than the OT from the team - preferably the team leader who is more gentle and has much more insight. The OT honestly put the fear of God into me about going to hospital when it should have been portrayed in a positive light and a safety net - not a threat, a jail sentence or something to make me eat out of fear of being sent there. This anxiety - paired with the three times a week weighing at the clinic prior to admission - only sent my anxiety through the roof. When I was admitted, I was close to hysterical with fear and was crying after with relief. My experience of hospital has been very positive. I feel cared for and supported. The OT's negative comments ('it's not good enough'), her not bothering to make appointments and her clear lack of medical knowledge (she has admitted this) is also a concern. I've actually contemplated putting in a complaint but I'm not really that kind of person!
Sorry, bit of a random rant there!
I'll let you know what the doc says today!
Thank you, Magie! The hug worked wonders again - Another good night's sleep haha!
Thanks, I do work my real hardest to stay positive and keep going no matter what comes at me. We have to right?
I will let you know how it goes with the doctor today.
Thanks again xx
How did you get on with the Dr? How are you feeling today? I think you have every right to comment on the way that you were treated by the OT - if you don't want to label it a "complaint" then label it "service user feedback" or something ;)
Doctor was really positive and was pleased by my progress. I just get the feeling it's going to be more than two weeks and that's hard.
Excellent idea about the complaint. When I'm home, I will write a letter expressing all of this for the benefit of OTHER service users in future.
Had a tough day today. Holding things together and being super positive is hard. Lots of difficult patients, short staffed and my emotions have been everywhere. The medical side is being addressed but the mental side has been totally forgotten. Im on a gastric ward so obviously its not the staffs role to deal with eating disorders as their focus is on getting my body well. The staff here are amazing though. Im very grateful.
Was able to have a good cry to my parents and a rant which helped. I always feel better in the evening - it means another day is DONE!
Oh lovely, I’m sorry it’s been a tough day. Ftr I think you’re holding it together really well (bear)
Oh sweetheart... Can you get to see anyone who can help more with the mental side of things?
You are amazing. I think your parents sound pretty awesome too - no wonder you are so fantastic.
My parents are truly incredible. I owe it to my family to make sure I never get in this situation again. They're a huge support and I can talk to them.
My therapist was going to visit me but her granddaughter is in hospital and life has been chaotic with her she said so I totally understand that. The ED services are planning on making a visit if they can be arsed.
I'll be okay, though. I have my family and you lovely people and the staff are all nice. I'm distracted with painting, writing and watching missed TV shows so I have a lot to be thankful for.
Yesterday was just tough is all. But I take comfort in knowing the day - hard though it may be - will come to an end and I will be closer to coming home.
You owe it to YOU to get better lovely... I'm so glad you can talk to them about everything though, that's massive.
magie06
18-10-17, 08:02 AM
Morning Em. How are things today? Anything nice planned, a little trip to the coffee shop perhaps?
Anyway, thinking about you and the way you are fighting this. I'm full of admiration for you. Well done and keep it up.
Hey sweetheart. I want you to remember that, no matter how tough this is, you ARE getting through this, you ARE getting well and you WILL be going home, in a much better place, physically and mentally. I have faith in you, everyone here has faith in you, your family has faith in you, we need you to have faith in you. Ok?
Okay, Paula!! I've got it!! (happy)
I am getting better. I've gained some weight, my colour is back, my bloods show no concern, my blood pressure and heart rate has improved and is okay and I feel more energised, too.
Thanks so much for your encouragement. I owe it to all the wonderful people rooting for me and to myself to get well.
Thank you ladies (panda)
Much better day yesterday. Busy painting away and a lovely time with visitors. Got to get off the ward and my mood has lifted. New day today (the start of week two!) and my auntie and uncle and brother are coming to see me. Starting to paint the small flower pots for tea lights this morning, too.
Have a lovely day all xxx
Well done lovely. You are doing so well! I'm so proud of you! Have a lovely day spending time with your family.
Well done on the increased weight, colour and blood tests. You are fabulous.
magie06
19-10-17, 10:16 AM
Well done on all your results yesterday. You are doing so well. And look, you've week one done already. I'm glad that you've got a steady stream of visitors calling to you, but I'm not surprised because your warm personality and your welcoming nature make you a very approachable person. It comes through on everything you write here so don't be surprised.
Have you cut out a design onto the flower pots for the tea lights, or have they already been cut out for you?
Hey Magie,
I paint the design myself. Draw it out and paint it in! Did nine tea light holders today - Christmas pudding ones, Golden Bell ones a D Golden star ones!
Had a much better day today.
The OT did drop in though and I expressed all my concerns about the ED services and how I had felt let down when she asked me how I wanted to go forward once discharged. Didn't end that well with her walking out and me half-laughing, saying 'Okay, take it easy!!' There's not a very nice side to me sometimes, although I feel I was right in everything I expressed.
Day nine tomorrow.
Much better day today. Feeling more settled. Think it's because I've overcome the worst and that hospital admission is more in sight!
Productive painting day. Already sold 13 pots and 4 tea lights before I've even started the stall! Two nurses have reserved pots, one requested a design I'm doing for her tomorrow and another took six pots home the other day! So many people keep saying I should set up a business!
Jaquaia
20-10-17, 09:30 PM
That's awesome!!!
I’m so proud of you and so glad you’re feeling better about being in hospital :)
Thank you, lovely!
I've looked into this little business venture now to discover I have enough time to apply to sell my produce at a Reindeer Parade in a little market town where they have a monthly farmers market through the year. Exciting!
Yeah, feeling better about it. Still looking forward to getting out and getting home mind, don't get me wrong haha!
Sounds like you are doing brilliantly with your pots! Actually sounds like you're doing pretty well whilst I've been awol.. I'm so pleased to see you still fighting this and winning! Still need to see pics of your pots!
Oh dear, Suzi! What's up? Hope you're okay hun!
Yes, the pots have really taken off! Who'd have thought? I will upload photos when I get home, promise!
Nice day again today. My childhood friend found out I was ill yesterday, took the day off work, caught a five hour bus to come to see me before going home tomorrow! Wow! My family have been and ARE a huge support.
Hope all is well with you!! Xx
As Suzi is under orders to REST and not spend too much time on the forum, I’m hoping she won’t see your post to respond for a few days lol.
So, she’s fine, she’s had a planned op and just needs to recoup for a little while
magie06
21-10-17, 06:41 PM
You sound so well. You are doing brilliantly. I hope you are into your last few days with that tube and you'll be back home where all your family are.
Aw thanks for letting me know, Paula!
I hope Suzi is alright and look forward to hearing from her when she's feeling better!
Thanks Magie!
You're the second person who's said that I sound so well now! Hitting rock bottom has really helped me to want to get back up. My experience of being in hospital has also showed me that the anxiety is much worse than the reality and that I really can deal with a lot of 'stuff'. When I get home and feel like I can't cope with work or whatever, I can look at this experience and see that - even though tough at the start - I not just came through it, but came through it with positivity!
Oh God yes, I will be pleased to see the back end of this bloody tube! Haha!
The OT is coming again tomorrow to discuss the plan for how I can move forward in the community once discharged and then I'm meeting the clinical lead on Tuesday so by then I should know if I will be out once the two weeks are up. I hope so!
magie06
22-10-17, 04:08 PM
Hi. How is today going? You are probably over run with visitors. Enjoy all your company. The days go faster when people call in.
We've had cake here because it's my husband's birthday. We just said goodbye to his sisters who called after lunch. It's so nice to have someone call even if it's only for a short while.
Shh, hope that all is going well. You are doing brilliantly! I love that your friend showed you that love by doing that amazing day trip!
You really are rather awesome you know!
Hey Magie!
Aw, sounds like you've had a lovely day your end! You're right, it's lovely spending time with loved ones. (panda)
Another surprise visitor came today! One of the Nuns from the order I worked with in Calcutta last year! It honestly made my day because she's just so lovely! The visitors really help!
Suzi!!
You are wonderfully awesome!! But I've heard you should be resting so REST!! ;) Only reply to this question once well-rested: How are you feeling? :) I hope you're well! Take care of yourself and thanks everyone for the on-going encouragement.
I am resting! I promise! I'm popping in because I want to, not because I have to ;) How am I feeling? A bit like I've been hit by a 10 ton truck, but I saw "lovely, gentle nurse" today rather than "I'm digging for gold nurse of the walk in centre" who I saw yesterday...
So, if I'm doing what I need to - resting, being looked after and being repacked and redressed every day, I assume you're doing what you need to to get well? I know you hate the tube, but once you've got the essentials in place then you can get rid of it, but keep on eating?
magie06
23-10-17, 08:45 PM
Hi Em, how was today? I did very little today. I met a friend for coffee in the morning, and went shopping with Gerry at lunch time. Since then very little. Although since dinner I've done a few rows of knitting.
You’ve been quiet today. You ok?
Aww Suzi!! (panda)
Aw sorry to hear you feel like you've been hit by a ten ton truck!! Sending lots of hugs, hun! (bear)
So good to hear that you're resting and doing what you need to get well. Lots of self-care, treats and nice things for Suzi now, okay?? (happy) You deserve it!! :)
That's great about the lovely gentle nurse you saw. When people genuinely care, it makes all the difference! Sorry about the other nurse, but remember that's HER problem so give it back to HER! (ninja) hehe!
Hope you feel better soon!! Take care of yourself,
Em xx
Hiya Magie,
Well sometimes it's nice to have days where you don't do very much just to relax and take things easy. :) Although to me it sounds like you still had a pretty nice and productive day having coffee, going shopping and doing some knitting!
The Nuns who visited me on Sunday actually recently received a donation of knitting needles and wool and suggested I knit blankets for the homeless. What a great idea! Although I'm not, ahem, that great at knitting hehe!
What kind of things do you knit? :)
Yesterday was a mixed bag but overall good and my mood is in a good place. Didn't have any pots to paint but spent the day doing some 'adult colouring' as my visitors bought me some books and pencils. Didn't know if I would enjoy it but it's really relaxing, takes up loads of time and the end product looks great! I also now have my own room. It's huge with a massive window, my own TV, a big table for painting and loads of space for visitors. Slept like a baby thanks to not having to share with snoring patients hehe!
However, the OT was due to come. She set the appointment last Thursday for 1pm yesterday. I wrote down a list of the type of support I wanted post-discharge and was literally just waiting for her when she called FIFTEEN minutes before 1pm to say she's coming 'some time' tomorrow. To me, this just says 'I don't care about you whatsoever' and 'I can't be arsed'. She did this even after I expressed how let down I felt by the service last week. I text her my feelings and her reply was 'ok Emily, see you tomorrow'. No apology. No 'sorry you feel that way'. Nothing.
She makes me feel like sh*t. When your self-esteem is rock bottom and you have no self-confidence and are suffering with an illness caused by feelings of not being good enough.... It honestly hurts when the people who are supposed to support you treat you with such indifference. She sees me as an eating disorder and nothing else. She sees me as a mental health statistic and a number on her chart and as long as I don't die under her 'care' and all the boxes are ticked, she can pick up her betty pay check and swan home to watch EastEnders. I actually feel hatred towards this woman and I don't hate anyone. :@
Roll on the letter of complaint. People with such indifference and no empathy or genuine care shouldn't be in this line of work. Sorry for the rant!! Felt better to get that out though haha!!
Have a lovely day everyone! Big hugs Magie! Xx
Hi Paula!
Thanks for checking in on me, hun.
As you can see from my rant, that probably contributed to my quietness. Also there was a query at 2.30pm yesterday that my tube had moved inside me so after an X-ray and a six hour wait it was confirmed it wasn't. Phew! If it had moved, I would have had to have had this one taken out and a new one put in straight after. Gross!
So I was feeling bummed out by the OT's lack of giving a sh*t and was a little anxious bout the tube situation. Still, I made it through day 12!
Hope all is well with yoooou!! (bear) xx
magie06
24-10-17, 08:13 AM
Hi Em. I'm so annoyed for you having to put up with that kind of treatment. No on in my book. If you have to cancel an appointment at least do so with an apology and as much notice as possible.
I'm knitting a shawl for my mum for Christmas. She's in a wheelchair and her shoulders get cold, so I'm knitting her something to put over them. At this stage there isn't a lot more that she needs. I've knit a lot of stuff over the years. I've been knitting since school and I don't think there's a lot that I haven't tried. Earlier this year, DWD was 10 years old and I knit Suzi a little mascot in the DWD colours along with a bunch of flowers and a bottle of bubbly. He was cute. Last year I knit a number of baby blankets for charity. They send around baby boxes to the maternity hospitals for people whose baby dies before birth or shortly afterwards. The parents can then decide whether to bury their baby wrapped in the blanket or keep it as a reminder of their little one.
Oh sweetheart that's terrible!
Glad you have your own room now, sounds much better - but also more isolating, so will you make a massive effort to still get out and talk to people?
Glad that the colouring is helping.
I'm really cross about that OT.
Hi Magie,
Totally agree. OT update! She came by today and I told her all the help I wanted when discharged. Turns out the service can provide me with a dietician, a psychologist, a nurse and a therapist. Umm so why was I lumped with an incompetent occupational therapist for five months with no mention of these other mental health professionals being available to me?!
She instantly started banging on about me not eating solid food. The doctors and nurses here have a totally different approach and respect that it's difficult for me to be tube fed AND eat. So they're not pressuring me to. OT also banged on about me not being able to have therapy until my BMI was 15. Why be negative? I know this and I'm in hospital being fed to gain weight. I'm talking about the future. I told her the damage in our relationship was irreparable and that I no longer wanted to work with HER.
I couldn't help myself so asked her why she wanted to work with people with eating disorders. She said 'because I want to'. I laughed and said, 'yeah, but why?' She said she didn't have to explain herself to me and got up to leave. I laughed and asked why she was going and she said she didn't want to be with me anymore. I called after her, 'Goodbye you horrible person' and a lovely nurse later informed me that I made the OT cry. Well, good. She makes me feel like sh*t so it won't hurt her to know how she makes service users feel.
I also wrote a letter of complaint. Felt so good to scribble it all down. I'll return to it and send it in future.
So today has been really tough. Met with the clinical lead and it seems I'm going to be here for ages. I'd say at least another two weeks.
Own room is nice, but is a bit isolating. I'm getting a room mate tonight in her twenties. All other patients are very elderly and mostly bedridden so not much chatting to be done, Suzi! Haha!
Wow Magie! Your knitting sounds amazing!! So lovely that you are using your talent in such a positive and kind way to benefit others!! That's so lovely that you're knitting for your mother and what you made for Suzi sounds awesome!! Wow, what you knitted for charity sounds so beautiful too! What a great way to use your talents!
Oh sweetheart, I know that’s not what you wanted to hear from the clinical lead but hopefully the extra time will ensure you really are on your way to wellness and means less chance of a relapse. Big hugs, lovely
Thanks Paula.
You're right. Hospital isn't bad but it's not home. Although at this time, home means relapse.
I trust the professionals. I wouldn't be here if I didn't need to be.
I know it sucks, but you really are doing the right thing putting your health first lovely... I'm so glad you have got things out of your head with the OT and the complaint letter.
Thanks Suzi. It's for the best I'm here. I know that.
Yeah, no more stupid OT!
How you feeling? X
magie06
25-10-17, 08:36 PM
Hi Em. How was today for you? Did you get out into the fresh air or anything. I've been busy all day and tomorrow is not looking any better. I'll go to weight watchers and then to physio and I think after that I'll have time for a lie down. Still it's better than sitting at home on my own.
I'm better than I was thanks love.
Hope that you're having a good day...
magie06
26-10-17, 11:44 AM
Good morning Em. Back from WW and physio. I got on great. Home now again to sort out the shoe boxes and get them ready to go out the door. It was a dreadful morning here, raining all morning, floods everywhere. But it's stopped now and the sun is trying to come out. It's not cold though. The temp in the car was 13 degrees. Hopefully we've seen the end of the rain and we can get out for a walk shortly.
Hi sweetie, how are you doing?
magie06
26-10-17, 06:38 PM
Hi there. How was your day?
Hey Magie!
How are you doing?
Glad the physio is going well and I hope the rain stopped so you could go out for a nice walk. How's the weather doing your end now? It was glorious sunshine with us a couple of days ago and my mother and I sat outside on a bench. I lay back and let the sun beat down on me. It made my day. I hadn't been outside in almost two weeks!! Then it rained all day the next day. Classic Wales. The sun doesn't stay out too long. Hehe!
You mentioned sorting out shoeboxes and the charity Operational Christmas Child came to mind. As you mentioned you've knitted for charity at Christmas previously, I wondered if this was what you were using the shoe boxes for?
Wishing you a happy Friday and a lovely weekend! Sending E-Hugs,
Em xxx
Morning Suzi, Paula and Magie!
Aw Suzi, glad you're feeling a little better hunny. Lots of rest, self-care and treats for you, I hope!!
How are you all doing today?
The ED team came yesterday - minus the OT! Sher completely out of my life now and I'm proud of myself for standing up for myself!! The team leader actually apologised to me that I had received a negative experience of treatment under their services so far and and insisted I take the complaints procedure information so that they could review their approach to benefit future service users. The people who met with me were very encouraging, kind and empathetic. They actually asked ME how I was and didn't prattle on about BMI and eating food all the time. A lot of support is in place for when I am discharged and I'm also putting in a referral to an inpatient eating disorder service JUST in case I start to relapse at home. I can't put my family through that again. It's not fair to them or to me.
Clinical Lead is reducing my tube feed for me to make up the loss with oral supplements. I will comply all this week and as things are moving in the right direction, I should be discharged next week! I'm really happy about this. I'm also telling myself that when next week comes, they may decide I need another week, because I know how things go haha! But it won't be any longer than another two weeks.
Lots of pots painted. Flowery ones now. I've sold another two to a health care worker and a cleaner! Trust me to go to hospital and get a job haha! Really want to start working when I'm discharged. I feel I need it to help my depression and my ED recovery.
Lots of love to you all xxx
I am so glad you don't have to deal with that OT again and that the ED team have been so helpful, and supportive! Definitely what you need, rather than telling off!
So, the stall is a go then? Do you have enough stock yet?
magie06
27-10-17, 02:08 PM
Hi Em, today started all foggy and when I was bringing Aisling to school you could hardly see in front of you. Then I was helping out in school until 1, and when we came out the sun was shining. The sun better stay out until I get my walk in! I'm glad that you had such a successful meeting with your team. And I'm very glad that they are putting things into place for when you get home. You are doing so well and if you have to stay for another week or so, your time will fly by. Talk again later, I'm running out again to pick Aisling up.
magie06
27-10-17, 08:17 PM
Hi, how was your day? Did you get much painting done? I've suffered with my knees all afternoon and I only took a short walk to the end of the road and back today. I just couldn't go any further.
Morning hunni :). Everything seems to be going in the right direction - well done you!
magie06
28-10-17, 08:11 PM
Hi Em, how was your day? Did you have any visitors? Can you get out for a few hours now or is it all impatient treatment? All questions, I'm sorry, so rude of me.
Here Aisling is getting pretty excited about Halloween. She was wrapping up a few goodies today so that her friends can have a game of pass the parcel when they come over on Tuesday. She hopes that they will have a lot of loot to share after their trick or treating. Going to Dublin on Wednesday then and I'm looking forward to that. A couple of days away and no dirty dishes to do until we come back. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Hey chick, missed you today.... You OK?
magie06
29-10-17, 01:32 PM
Hi there. I missed you yesterday. Is everything okay?
Hiya Magie! (happy)
How are you doing?
Sorry I went a bit quiet. I get like that sometimes. You know when you just feel a bit 'quiet'?
Has the weather bucked up your end? It's been nice here (out of my window haha!) but it's dark so early now the clocks have gone back!
How are your knees doing? Better I hope, hun! That's nice that you're still going out for walks though. I love scenic walks back home by the coast and the duck pond. So relaxing.
Sounds like Aisling will have LOTS of fun for Halloween! How old is she?
Dublin sounds great!! My brother and sister in law recently had a weekend away there and absolutely loved it! My American friends who visited me in the summer also went there for a few days. They went to a traditional Irish night with singing and dancing and Guinness and Irish stew and had an absolute blast!
Not rude at all! (happy) I did go outside with my mam one sunny afternoon which was lovely and I pop down to the canteen for a change of scenery when visitors come. My sister in law's mother pops in twice a week and her brother works in the hospital so he comes in on his lunch break every day which is thoughtful and nice of him. My brother and sister in law came yesterday and are coming again Wednesday for us to play scrabble! My brother is an over-confident English teacher scrabble champ and my sister in law is so competitive bless her that she won't play with him because she can't beat him haha!! So that should be a laugh! I also sew my parents most days.
The date for my stall is 30th November!! I'm going to sell at my sister in laws school Christmas fete (she's head of science) for a homeless charity. Whilst being in hospital, I've already made £70 on pots!! Plus there staff members are going to buy one from me before I'm discharged and my cousin has requested Jack and Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas so that's almost a hundred quid for the homeless before I've even started!!
Spoke with the Farmers Market and they said it's better I sell after Christmas. I'm to call them back today to discuss further. I'm so excited about this! Besides, the end of January would be a good start date to give me time to get the food licence and prepare for my stock.
I've been thinking of doing 'The Flower Pot Shop' selling large painted pots for herbs, flowers and containers for gifts and treats, small painted pots for tea lights and then flower-pot breads and muffins (savoury breads and sweet muffins baked in a small flower pot tied with a ribbon to serve). They already have a chutney stall there but if I could make chutney I could call the stall 'Pots and Preserves'. I thought the breads and muffins would be good because they're cheap, so versatile and everyone likes bread and cake! Haha!
What do you think?
Have a lovely week!!
Em xxx
Hiya Suzi!!
How are you feeling, hun? Much stronger I hope! Hope you had a nice weekend.
Sorry I went a bit quiet. I'm back now haha! As you can see from my post to Magie, things are going well and in the right direction.
I've also applied for some NON-FOOD RELATED jobs whilst being in. There's a position I'm really interested in working in admin for an established charity for women that works to end domestic violence and abuse. They have confirmed that they are currently reviewing my application. It would be an excellent first step into the charity sector and would be something completely different to channel my mind into something else - something meaningful too, rather than preparing rubbish food I'm too scared to even eat whilst surrounded by rude, foul-mouthed, microwave-expert, Gordon-Ramsay wannabes for 12 hours a day in a greasy and grubby kitchen! It's a 20-minute bus ride into the centre of town and can be part time leading to full time so I don't go from hospital patient with tube to 40-hour week administration lady! Haha! Closing date is tomorrow so fingers crossed!
Been a bit worried about going home. Got lots of good things in place and support but anorexia doesn't give two figs about that and it's hard not to relapse. Recovery needs to come from me this time. It feels safe in the hospital. Time will tell how I cope!
Have a lovely day!! Xx
I am so proud of you! You're so determined and doing everything you can to get well.
Loving "Pots and Preserves" love! That's so cool - you could start selling on etsy and facebook too!
The job sounds great and I'm relieved it's not working with food as I can't see how that could ever help when you are surrounded by food and stroppy arses all day - I've done waitressing and catering too (although not at chef level lol) and they are really cliquey places to work and actually I think you deserve much better.
I love that you've so many visitors. I think that your sister in law's mother's brother (that was a mouthful lol) coming in to spend his lunch breaks with you is so lovely. You're obviously as lovely in person as you come across online!
I'm doing better thanks lovely. Building up slowly and I had my first shower since my op last night thanks to the lovely nurse at the walk in centre who did my dressing yesterday. I'm currently being held together with packing, big plaster and smothered in what can only be described as medical sticky back plastic! It's not a great look tbh, but hey that shower was amazing!
I'm amazed by how much you've raised already! Are you remembering to take out your costs too or you won't be able to carry on! Every time you talk about your pots you become so excited and it's lovely!
So, are you any good at scrabble? Marc (my husband) is a real pita. He's dyslexic, but he beats pretty much anyone I've ever seen him play! It comes down to the way he looks at letters! Words with Friends he beat a friend of ours who was playing backed up with the whole of his office of met detectives! Good luck for your match!
Hope it's a lovely day where you are today - it's flipping freezing here today - a real shock after the fairly warm weekend!
Have a good day gorgeous.
magie06
30-10-17, 09:59 AM
Morning Em, lovely to hear from you. You have kept yourself so busy while you have been in, I'm so amazed! It's the right thing to do though. Less time to worry and think about things. The weather over the weekend here was very mild and cloudy. We had rain in the mornings but it had cleared up to us having very pleasant afternoons so that I could go out for my walk.
Knees are almost back to normal now. Still just a little swollen and stiff but not as bad as Friday. I'm not sure how much money we raised for our charity, they will let us know later when all the money is in.
When we go to Dublin we stay on the outskirts of the city. We stay in a family run hotel and we aren't far from the shopping centre there. It's just a short drive to the cinema and all that the shopping centre has to offer.
We have a bank holiday here today. It's great to have an extra day to get used to the change in time. It was so dark yesterday by 5.30, you forget don't you.
You have so many ideas for your stall. It will go a treat and you'll make loads of money for your charity.
Morning Suzi! (happy)
So glad to hear you're feeling a bit better, hun. You're so positive! So pleased you have a lovely nurse and I bet that shower felt amazing! Just think of how many nice showers and relaxing baths you can have when the plasters are off. Besides, the plastered-look is in season I've heard. ;) Hehe!
Yeah, really excited for the stall now! I can only sell crafts at the market though but that's probably better. The less my focus is on food, the better! So I've had an idea to paint pebbles and garden signs too seen as I can get free access to pebbles from the beach and to rustic unwanted wood. Why not? I will still do all the foodie ideas for my sister in law - Rhian's - fete though!
Rhian's brother Lee (so much easier than the mouthful haha!) brought my a huge framed poster yesterday with super inspirational quotes that I will put in my bedroom! He suffers with depression and copes by covering his bedroom walls with positive quotes and pictures. I thought this was a fantastic idea and wanted to cover my wall at home with happy things and reasons to get up and go on! Family photos, memories, quotes.... What a great idea and how kind of him!
Well maybe we have a new scrabble champion in our midst then - Marc! (happy) It will be a nice thing to do in the hospital - something different.
Weather here is nice. I have a lovely sea view. I can't wait to get out in the fresh air though!! Haha!
Hope you have a lovely day today! I'm meeting with the clinical lead so will know about discharge. In the meantime, I'll paint some..... You guessed it ladies, POTS! I bought lots of purple and pink shades and PINK GLITTER! Going to do some girly love heart ones and butterfly ones now!
Em xx
Morning Magie!
How are you doing today? (panda)
Well I think you always have to make the most out of every situation! Better to come to hospital and paint 5000 pots and raise money for charity and to buy my mam coffee in the costa downstairs and sit outside in the sun with her and practically sunbathe lying on the bench both regardless of my facial tube, than to mope in a hospital bed, right? :)
Glad the weather bucked up for your walk. Glad your knees are doing a bit better too and that's great that you've raised the money for charity!
Dublin sounds fantastic! Enjoy yourselves there!
Yes, I love these pots. This stall and the creativity is really keeping me going. It's something positive to fuel my energy into!
Wishing you a lovely day xx
Ooo! I almost forgot! The job got back to me and said they liked my CV and felt I was a suitable match so I'm just waiting on an interview date! I have a feeling the charity is Womens' Aid but if not it's a very similar one to that. Fingers crossed!!
Great news about the job lovely! I'm so thrilled for you - do they know you're currently in hospital? Could you do a phone or skype interview if you were still in hospital?
You're always so happy sounding, but I think that there must be some sadness too.... How are you really feeling in yourself?
Hey Suzi!
They don't, but I will disclose my illness to them at interview. (y)
Tube is OUT!!!!! (party) I'm being discharged tomorrow!
Hm, you are very perceptive there. I'm terrified if I'm honest. I don't feel ready sometimes. My family and I are all anxious I'll relapse. I don't want to but it's an illness. I honestly can't help it. I'm putting in a referral to an inpatient place. I don't want to go there obviously but I just don't know if the CMHT can provide me with the intensity of support and supervision I need.
I feel alone in my illness. I know im not alone but the silent battle between what I want and what the anorexia wants with regards to weight, food, exercise and lies is an isolating battle. I am sad for that.
Other than that, I'm grand! Painted two pretty pots today.
How you feeling?
I am so chuffed the tube is out! Hunni, I get it about being alone in this. I have a rare, debilitating nerve condition that hurts really badly most of the time. Most people don’t get it so there’s not much point in me talking about it and, if I do, I normally get ‘keep positive’ and ‘I’m sure it’ll get better’. It’s lonely fighting against people’s perceptions all the time.
I get it too.... I have a list of medical issues and there are so many times that I've just wanted to scream at someone who tells me that "they understand" or that they "know exactly how I feel" that actually they don't have a f*ing clue and actually I've been fighting my own internal dialogue and fighting against "it's growing pains" or "keep moving and it'll help" or "try this herbal remedy....."
You aren't alone, we all have our own understandings and whilst none of us know exactly how you feel, we can all appreciate certain elements of it. All I'll ask is that you promise to try to keep talking - to us, to your parents - to anyone who will listen and keep on doing it.
I'm so thrilled that the tube is out and you're heading home!
Hey Paula and Suzi!
Even though our difficulties and illnesses might be different, we can still relate to each other and have that empathy and understanding because we experience the same sense of loneliness and isolation in our illnesses. So we are absolutely not alone!
I am talking openly and honestly. It's likely I will self-refer to an inpatient place for a short while. Depends on how things go at home and hopefully I will be able to cope and go forward! It's a safety net and shows I DO want to get well.
Having the tube out was gross!!! I could taste the contents of my stomach, vomit and the icky feed I was given - bleurgh! Got to make sure I never have a tube again now!
Have a lovely day both. I will let you know when I'm home!
It does sound horrible! Do you have a plan as to shakes/food etc when you get home?
Happy homecoming day!
Woohoo!!!!! Home day!
Don’t push yourself today, emotions are going to run high, but enjoy knowing what you’ve achieved getting to this point :)
magie06
01-11-17, 11:37 AM
Have a brilliant day. I didn't reply last night because I was busy answering the door to trick or treaters. We took all the decoration down at 9 because we are on the road to Dublin. I'm looking forward to my few days away, we didn't go anywhere during the summer so this is like our summer holidays. Anyway enjoy your day and like Paula says don't expect too much from the day. Take it easy and get some rest when you get home.
Hope you're doing OK lovely... x
magie06
01-11-17, 08:37 PM
Hi. I hope your home comming lived up to expectations. We've enjoyed our first day in Dublin. We went shopping and had a swim. Going for a drink a little bit later. But enjoying the down time and having very little to do. Aisling has complained of being bored but she'll get over it.
magie06
02-11-17, 03:07 PM
How is home?
Hi all! (hi)
Thanks for the homecoming well wishes! (panda)
Hey Magie!
How are you? How was Halloween and are you enjoying Dublin? Hope Aisling has gotten over being bored now hehe!
Being home is a bit emotional. The only way I can explain it is to be honest. I don't want to be here.
I was in turmoil before admission and after that I've returned to a painful environment.
It's been hard chasing up the MH Team. Speaking to them bummed me out. I realised they haven't helped me leading up to hospital. They actually only ever made things worse. They didn't help me through hospital either. They only made things worse. I don't want them anymore.
I've been exhausted. Can't stop sleeping. I'm drinking the shakes but they make me feel worse. I've been crying a lot. A part of me wishes I was in hospital because I felt cared about. Now I just feel like crap. I haven't even wanted to paint or go our anywhere. My auntie came to visit but I couldn't wait for her to leave if I'm honest!
I know I need to move forward. I got myself an interview for a full time job tomorrow but everyone says that's too much too soon. I'm not thinking straight.
I know this sounds hope horrific, but I wished anorexia has finished me off. I know this is shameful to say, but for so long I didn't want to live and I wish that I could just sleep and disappear. I don't want to hurt my loved ones. I'm just tired and honestly feel satisfied and ready to go.
Sorry for the morbid post everyone!
Hey Suzi,
Are you feeling better? :) hope all is well with you xx
magie06
02-11-17, 04:25 PM
Of course going home is going to take it out of you. You've had a traumatic hospital stay and your body has to recover from that. Sleep, sleep and then sleep some more. Don't worry about anyone calling or visiting you, go to bed and stay there. Everyone will understand and no one will think any less of you.
Oh sweetheart .... I’m not surprised you’re struggling tbh and not for the obvious reasons. You’re trying to run before you can walk. You’ve just come out of hospital from a very acute, life threatening illness. If it was anything else you were in hospital for, for such a serious illness, you’d expect to have several weeks recovery including lots of sleep, no stresses of normal life and no thinking about work! Instead, you’re hating yourself for sleeping and for still being exhausted, you’ve had guests, you’re chasing up MH teams (always tough) and you’ve decided now is the right time to have interviews and get a job. Newsflash, it’s not! Now is the right time to rest, be kind to yourself and focus on getting well. That’s how you move forward right now
Thanks Magie (bear)
I wouldn't be sleeping if I didn't need it! New day tomorrow and I'll get out and about!
My auntie today gave me a big hug and said if I wanted to ring her and rant every time I drink a supplement I could. She's so funny bless her! (giggle)
Hope you're enjoying yourself in Dublin!! X
magie06
02-11-17, 08:12 PM
Take it easy and just rest. Dublin is great. We've been shopping and walking loads. And we even went swimming. Although I don't actually swim a lot, just kind of float around the pool and walk through the water. Aisling doesn't really like the swimming lessons that they must do through the school. It's only 6 weeks but it's a chore for her to have to do them. She also doesn't like getting water in her ears and the sensation of water going into her nose is sometimes too much for her. But it has brought on her swimming so much, she is no longer afraid of the water. She showed no fear when we went today and yesterday and even talked me into going with her today. Anyway, tomorrow is going home day, I'm still not sure if we will go straight after breakfast or if we will have another go of shopping before we hit the road.
You take it easy and try not to worry too much. You are doing great, and you will get better again. Have a good rant with your auntie and have a laugh over it. You will cope because you are stronger than this disease.
Thanks Paula (panda)
I know you're right. It's very all or nothing with me but I know it's too much to be discharged from hospital after the time I've had and to work full time when my head isn't even fully switched on yet.
I want everything to be okay but I know it's a long process. It's hard to accept that.
I don't actually want to get better this time. I feel I've had enough but I can't relapse now for the sake of my family. That's just not fair on them.
So glad you're having a great time in Dublin! Sounds like you've been having a lot of fun!!
I'd definitely squash in a bit of shopping after breakfast! Enjoy your last night and have a safe journey home tomorrow. Xx
Hey you! Babe, listen. Staying in hospital is hard and exhausting. Coming home is hard and exhausting. You need to give you a bit of a break. Is there anyway that your lovely Mum or Aunt could help you get the help you want/need? You can always talk to us when you're having your shakes, if it helps.
Just seen your reply to Paula - sweetheart can I ask why you don't want to get better?
Thanks Suzi,
I feel better today. I usually do after a bad day.
I'm holding off from full time work and waiting to hear from women's aid. I also started an application for a part time childcare assistant job in a prison and had an email from them today asking me to finish the application so they seem interested!
Just finished two Harry Potter festive pots. Have seven pots on order already!
Out and about today. Went to Church, for a walk and I'm going shopping later for chutney ingredients. Painting requested pots for make-up brushes this evening! No end to these pots hehe.
You feeling better, hun? X
I think holding off from full time work might be a good idea - walk before you can run maybe lovely?
So glad that you're feeling at least a little bit brighter love.
Loving the success of the pot venture... Pictures love, pictures!
I'm not too bad thanks love. Working on puppy proofing the house - we have an emergency foster placement arriving in about 1 hour! He's a black german shepherd who is about 1 year old and never been in a house before... I think we might be mad, but I've always been a sucker for a sob story..
Yeah, me too. Too much too soon.
I know, I need to get on the uploading! Promise I will do soon!
Awww a little puppy! Sounds amazing! Enjoy love!
I'm just going to make chutney for the fete. Calling it 'Rudolph's Blow Your Nose Off Chutney'. It's spicy curried carrot and coriander. Love spicy stuff, me!
Let me know how you get on with the pup!
magie06
03-11-17, 04:07 PM
It sounds like you are having a better day today. Well done but take things easy, you don't want to end up back where you were.
By the way we're home safe and sound. We did more shopping after breakfast and left Dublin at about 11. We were home at 1. It used to take about 3 hours to get home from Dublin but with the motorway running almost all the way to Dublin now, it's much faster.
That chutney sounds delicious!
Meet Cash... He's not ours, just a foster, but OMG he's adorable! Thought you might like some virtual puppy love!
https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/23172501_10154986862146179_7567413070800087399_n.j pg?oh=651b9ea61d05b62f6e92e1ab88b93f6a&oe=5A6F8ABC
Aww Suzi he's lush!!!
Also you have the same furniture that my Nan used to have!!
Enjoy him! X
Hiya Magie!
Nice to be home?
So glad you had a nice time in Dublin and that you got some last minute shopping in too! Glad you had a good journey home, too.
I had a much better day today thanks. Although it ended in am evening of vomiting, horrendous stomach pain and diarrhoea! My das was in the background saying 'how was she discharged from hospital?!' And I jokingly said to my mother, 'You know what would be good right now? A full time job!' Haha! Also had my health assessment about ESA and the health care worker said I should have cancelled, looked at me like I was barking mad when I said I'd got the bus over after just getting out of hospital and cut the appointment short kindly saying she had enough information. Bit of a reality check haha!
Hoping to make the chutney tomorrow morning and to get out in the fresh air! Big bonfire and fireworks and the fair ground going on tomorrow night too!
Morning gorgeous.
Do you know what caused you to be vomity?
You must have been bonkers to do your ESA appointment too - but I spose sooner it's done, sooner things can move on and all that. Well done for dealing with it.
Don't try to do too much lovely...
Hi Paula and Suzi!
How are you both?
How's the pup, Suzi?
Reason for vomiting is a bit gross and TMI so I will spare you the info haha. Stomachs still killing today! But better than yesterday at least.
magie06
04-11-17, 03:21 PM
Hi Em, how are things today? I hope your poor tummy has had a chance to settle down. I'll fill you in on how today is going for me on my own thread. I feel like sometimes I'm taking over this one.
I'm not so great today tbh. I had to go to the walk in centre to get my boob seen to and it didn't go very well, consequently I'm really sore and quite emotional so going to sign out earlier tonight..
However Cash is awesomely funny. I think we're all calling him Crash as it's much more appropriate! :)
Hope you're having a good day lovely.
magie06
05-11-17, 10:32 PM
Hi there. How was your day? I won't bore you with details of my day, suffice to say I wasn't bored at all today.
Aisling had friends over in the afternoon and it was quite loud when they were playing murder in the dark. They all went home at 7.30. Peace reigns again.
Hi Magie!
No of course you're not taking over the thread! Keep chatting! Good to hear you've been nice and busy.
I'm good thanks, keeping going forward. Tummy in a bad way with diarrhoea all weekend. Nice. Haha!
Other than that, it's all good!
Have a lovely day xx
Hey Suzi,
How are you feeling today? How's cash the little crasher? Hehe!
Have a lovely day x
P.S. How do I upload photos of my pots on here? I've tried with no success!
Use an image hosting website like https://imgbb.com then copy their link to your photo and paste it here
Hey hunni, good to hear from you. It's good to see you posting!
Hope the tummy has settled a bit.
Crash? He's a f***ing liability and in a huge amount of trouble this morning when we discovered that he'd trashed our front room and eaten a whole roll of kinso tape, the spine of my hand crafted notebook, the corner of Marc's chair.............. He was not popular!
However, he's bloody lovely and sweet and cute and adorable....
magie06
06-11-17, 02:02 PM
Hi there. Just home for something to eat before I head out to pick Aisling up. She finishes at 2.40 and I normally get there at about 2.20 to get parking. It's a bit of a pain to get back to normal today but it's nice to have a routine again. We won't feel it until the Christmas holidays. I'm not sure if it's 6 or 7 weeks from today.
How are you doing today? Have you been out or how is the weather where you are. I've done my walk since this morning. I normally go after dropping Aisling to school. It wasn't raining this morning, and it's so handy to have the walk done early in the day. I was going before I picked her up but I was always rushing, afraid I'd be late. The morning really suits me better.
Morning Suzi!
Crash! Hehehe.... Oh, dear! Is he behaving today? I hope so!
How are you feeling today?
My tum is on the mend! Just my body adjusting to trying to work and all.
Had a great day yesterday though! Went to Church, made a load of red hot carrot chutney and painted a pot and picked up some thank you gifts for the hospital staff.
Been to Church again today and I'm just off home to make 'Terry's Chocolate Orange Marmalade' and 'Jam-aican me crazy tropical fruit jam' for my stall. I'm painting three girly pots then this evening to be used as make-up/bath smellies holders for my stall.
No news on the job interview front yet. If I don't hear by Friday, I don't think I will have gotten the women's aid one. Closing date for the other I applied for as a playworker assistant in the prison is the 11th November. Sent one for a local nursery today and one for a homeless hostel where I used to volunteer! Fingers crossed something good comes soon.
Have a lovely day Suzi xx
Morning Magie!
How's it going today? Sounds like you had a lovely day yesterday! X
Thanks Paula!
I will upload snaps when I have time to sit and get my head around technology hehe!
Hope all is well with you!! X
magie06
07-11-17, 04:38 PM
Hi Em, how has today been? I hope you were crazy busy with all your pots and chutneys. It's a lovely way to spend the day when you are doing what you like and what makes you happy.
I had no internet this morning and I got loads of knitting done and I even tidied up the kitchen. It was filthy. And so messy. Most of the mess belongs to Aisling, bits and pieces of paper, some homework, pencils and pens and colouring books. It was really messy. I spent about an hour and a half cleaning it up but the satisfaction of having it done and finished is just wonderful. We've spent a lot of time in the last 3 weeks cleaning and tiding and the kitchen was certainly lacking until today.
We got our internet back when Gerry came home from work. The broadband box needed to be rebooted and the password changed but it's all working again now. I'll be off again to do my hour of exercises in a little while. The floor in the sitting room even got a going over today so I can get down on the floor without the fear of having an asthma attack due to the dust. I got up yesterday half way through my exercises to use my inhaler. Not a good idea.
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