Triggers

[Angie]

How does everyone deal with things that trigger them,
I get a lot of triggers, things I see or read or hear about can trigger the memories for me of all that's happened that affects me know.

How do you learn to cope with them and deal with them?

[Sarah76]

Hi hon been thinking about this but for me it's different I don't seem to have set triggers , most days I just go through the motions that when something happens it just does , I don't really think of it but guess that's just me
Hugs x

[Jarre]

I tend to comfort eat :( or just want to hide away from everyone or just be really clingy and want to snuggle.

[Suzi]

For me it was lots and lots of therapy... Talking about things, realising that they weren't my fault, that I couldn't have done anything to change them, that what has happened in the past doesn't mean that's what there is in my future....

[Aspasia]

For me it was lots and lots of therapy... Talking about things, realising that they weren't my fault, that I couldn't have done anything to change them, that what has happened in the past doesn't mean that's what there is in my future....

^^^ That is certainly the best way to cure them! In the meantime to deal with them while your counselling is starting I think it's just being aware of them and where they are likely to crop up, mentally preparing yourself when you know you are likely to encounter them, and having a "calm down" plan or routine in your head so you know how you will deal with them before you even face them. Knowing you are ready to deal with them will actually make each episode less severe, because you will feel more in control.

[Mummyhill]

For me it was lots and lots of therapy... Talking about things, realising that they weren't my fault, that I couldn't have done anything to change them, that what has happened in the past doesn't mean that's what there is in my future....


^^^ That is certainly the best way to cure them! In the meantime to deal with them while your counselling is starting I think it's just being aware of them and where they are likely to crop up, mentally preparing yourself when you know you are likely to encounter them, and having a "calm down" plan or routine in your head so you know how you will deal with them before you even face them. Knowing you are ready to deal with them will actually make each episode less severe, because you will feel more in control.

I think you both have this right. For me it was lots of talking about what had happened in counseling and here on dwd being reassured and coming to understand that it wasn't my fault I didn't ask for anything that happened and I couldn't of prevented them at the time either. Then my cbt helped me to recognise my triggers, whether my reaction was normal/appropriate and if not we worked at changing my reactions, making plans. Some things still creep up on me but I am getting better at dealing with it all.

[Angie]

Thanks all
They crop up in so many different places and ways, going outside, being in the house or in my bedroom, all can trigger me, then will see something on the news or in a paper or online and that triggers me and its hard to avoid them and hard to find somewhere that is safe from them for me, an example would be I dont go out on my own now at all maybe to the end of my path and to my front gate because it does trigger me and then I panic, I try and do this a lot over and over again to make myself realize nothing is going to happen but it doesn't lessen anything for me.

Thanks MH

Something both you and Suzi said is me right down to a tee,
I do blame myself constantly for things that have happened, I know I shouldn't but a lifetime of being told its your own fault, you asked for it, its all your worth etc tends to stick in the mind. It is something I have to change and is on my list.

[Lostfriend]

sometimes i have to sit down and meditate , and if it one that comes to me in my dreams i have to wake up and to clear my head . and big hugs from my OH work the best at that time.

[Angie]

LF thank you hun

[Suzi]

Thanks all
They crop up in so many different places and ways, going outside, being in the house or in my bedroom, all can trigger me, then will see something on the news or in a paper or online and that triggers me and its hard to avoid them and hard to find somewhere that is safe from them for me, an example would be I dont go out on my own now at all maybe to the end of my path and to my front gate because it does trigger me and then I panic, I try and do this a lot over and over again to make myself realize nothing is going to happen but it doesn't lessen anything for me.

Firstly for me it took a while and a huge amount of practise.. It's about seeing something like that and then working hard within my head telling me "It's not me, it's not me" over and over again.
Also keeping something with me which keeps me in the here and now and stops me getting caught in a flashback or similar has really helped and was something I was taught through therapy. It could be the feel of something or a stone or a crystal or something.
You'll often find me wih a hair tie or elastic band round my wrist or a bracelet or something so that if I feel the panic arising, then I can FEEL something from NOW. I'm safe now, none of the horrible stuff is happening now...


Something both you and Suzi said is me right down to a tee,
I do blame myself constantly for things that have happened, I know I shouldn't but a lifetime of being told its your own fault, you asked for it, its all your worth etc tends to stick in the mind. It is something I have to change and is on my list.

It is really really hard to change years of conditioning but it CAN be done. It has to be done gradually over a long time and you have to WORK at it... The only way of doing it is to counteract any negative thoughts about yourself with a positive one...
eg... I'm useless gets changed to I'm far from useless because I am a brilliant mother

It takes a long time, but you CAN do it.

Also LF is right. Talking to your loved one and telling them what is going on, why and what's happened to cause the trigger. Never deal with it all on your own..

[Angie]

Thanks hunnie

[veggie]

Hiya Angie triggers can be so difficult but dealing with them the way everyone described is a real help, find the best one for you.
I find talking about them helps relieve some of the pain and also lots of distraction.

[Angie]

Thanks hunni, am trying the distraction not to much effect, am telling myself it cant hurt me know but its not going to work over night I know that, its a long road

[Aspasia]

It's a marathon, not a sprint :) You WILL get there, though!

[Angie]

Thanks hun

[SuperInferior]

I'm not sure. I didn't know I had a trigger until my psychology teacher gave us an interview to transcribe that had horribly detailed accounts of self-harm. It made me cry non-stop for 3 hours, so I had to leave the lecture and ended up not going to uni for the rest of the year, that lead to the lowest low I have ever gotten too (last year).
My method was to avoid the situation, but I couldn't have done it fast enough apparently.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to deal with that, I can read horrible things and I'm usually unaffected by it. =/