View Full Version : Time Passing By and Fear of Failure *Triggers*
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The psychologist told us she cannot do this in our place - the employees should themselves expose the things bothering them!
But I'm not sure this can work.
She's right, it's up to the people who work for her to expose anything like this. But I can only imagine how hard that would be for you. How do you know she's spying on you? Remember, if you do expose her, you have to have firm proof
She's right, it's up to the people who work for her to expose anything like this. But I can only imagine how hard that would be for you. How do you know she's spying on you? Remember, if you do expose her, you have to have firm proof
She has recognized it herself, affirming that she has every right.
Does she though? Perhaps you should check the laws ....
Well, maybe she has the right to install it on her office pc, but she shouldn't mock people.
Today another new worker left...With pressure and without heating in a semi-attached "aquarium" building.
The new candidates do not know about the frost in that office during cold time...
If other people are leaving - are they leaving to go to other jobs?
Some of them are very young and hoping for better chances, the others (mainly men) just cannot cope with the pressure around. A very few left having found already a good job.
It's all about her pressure.
Are you looking for another job?
Now I've focused on my exams and then, if the situation gets unbearable, I hope maybe I will have better opportunities.
Fair enough. It's just you seem so unhappy there...
I want so much to have more spare time. When I return home, I barely manage to do something about the house (thanks to my mom for help), I can't remember when it was the last time I saw a movie, went to the theatre etc.
Boss insists that we work on Saturdays, despite the lack of any customers in that day (although half day). She keeps renting some expensive offices with a very few customers.
I appreciate her business skills, but I can't get over some other things.
Well, that's it, with not so many variants.
She wants us to come on holiday lunch on December 24. Most of them don't celebrate Christmas on 25, but she asked me to stay around an hour.
What's happening about your exams?
Ah, I relaxed a little, the results will be known in the upcoming weeks before New Year.
I just took a piece of chocolate before exams and nothing more, got on a frosty morning on the bus and in a few minutes I was there.
The first was English, there were more people (around 22) sitting around the same table. My 2 colleagues took English in the same day, but all of us were sitting in different parts of the room.
Strangely, but I managed to translate faster and better into English. Thank God, I managed to write everything, it is not easy to focus on texts in a crowded room, when you have in fact very little time. The first text was about legal provisions in case of claims for better conditions of detention, the second one (into En) was about demand for deprivation of paternal rights. And I was rather familiar with the second subject.
My colleagues left and I waited a little before taking French. In fact there are fewer people and the exam papers were not only for French, but for other languages too. There are only 3 people taking French and me among them. Here I guess I managed to better translate into my native language. But the texts provided for French all belonged to Criminal law and were rather hard to translate, I guess mainly from psychological point of view, there were some bloody details. However, I managed to translate everything too despite being overtired.
Well, not exams itself, but my boss makes me anxious.
Well done lovely! Once you've got those results you can apply for different jobs didn't you say?
Well done lovely! Once you've got those results you can apply for different jobs didn't you say?
I'll see, at least I hope so.
I don't know why you wouldn't!
Our psychologist had some special ideas about party organization. Thus, she designed me as the protective angel of the agency and my boss (and the boss's nickname is Devil!). My God, I should acquire for her a symbolic little present.
Do you have any idea what it can be?
What things does she like? What about a picture? A poem? A bracelet?
A poem will be performed by others.
She has a taste for good things, but as it concerns a symbolic gift, I'm confused.
Well done on doing the exams Selena, I'm sure you'll do well. Who is the person you want to buy the gift for? and what does she symbolise?
Well done on doing the exams Selena, I'm sure you'll do well. Who is the person you want to buy the gift for? and what does she symbolise?
It's my boss! And our psychologist asked me to do this, but I'm really lost.
Do you know what her hobbies are? Has she pets? Does she like fashion? Is it just you that has to buy her something, or a few of You?
She really likes only one thing - money.
What about a sign for the office? lol
What about a sign for the office? lol
(rofl)(rofl)...daft mare!
I bought a present at Catholic fair, it is a kind of a Santa for office.
Sounds sensible and not something which could offend!!
Today my boss phoned me and came in half an hour to my office. Apparently, she needed to take some money for services.
She was rather nice, even too sweet, but I'm fed up with surprises, cause she can go nuts anytime. I've thought maybe it's our psychologist's piece of advice or maybe she wants to do her best in order that I stay. But like I said above, she can be very unpredictable.
She told me that our Saturday mini-party will take place earlier because of me, so that nearly everybody is present. But I'm not happy at all, I don't want any games or surprises, I know my job and I just want to be left in peace and not to get under someone's pressure.
I can understand that, but it sounds like she is trying to be a better boss maybe?
Yes, she asked me to stay.
She is very greedy indeed, but this time I'll come despite feeling very low.
(bear) You don't have to stay too long though... Hope you are able to enjoy it.
Work party during day time was fine and ended quickly. In fact, our boss makes us feel uncomfortable mostly during evening time. We exchanged little gifts and go home.
The bad thing is that I've caught a cold ans also that my boss wants to organize her birthday party on Monday in the evening.
magie06
24-12-16, 04:10 PM
Stay warm, drink loads and go to bed early. You might feel better in the morning.
Hope the cold passes soon lovely.
Today I'm feeling sad that my another colleague resigned. She was really kind and simply fantastic person!
She was our manager in the main office. The reason is the boss. Around ten days ago, her little boy got ill, the child has nobody to stay with as her husband is busy at work too. But my boss refused to give her a few days leave. She also insists that all of us work on Saturday, December 31, half day. I cannot get her, the city is empty this day.
I might have missed it, but how did your exams go? When do you get the results?
Will you be resigning when you get your exam results?
Here is the main surprise. They promised the results by the end of the last week, but now they are to be announced in 2017!
I don't understand your system at all!
Just been reading a little on your thread. The boss wants to plan her birthdayparty........ From what i get your boss sounds horrible. I would not get anything or show up on that party.
I hope the cold is feeling beter.
I didn't show up. She might have not liked the idea, but I stood up for myself.
Yes, she is really difficult to get along with.
Thanks, I'm better.
I don't know if the feelings, or better say states, I'm experiencing now, are normal.
My boss can bother me, customers come and go, much work...but that's professional deal.
I'm busy during work hours, but after work I'm often feeling confused, lost, frustrated...I don't know how to describe it better...just feeling helpless, ready to burst into tears...
Maybe it's related to my last dating attempts failure or general stress, or PCOS or situation at home...
Jaquaia
04-01-17, 07:19 PM
So what can you do to change things?
magie06
04-01-17, 07:31 PM
Maybe you are working too hard and when you get home you're exhausted and the tears start? (panda)
I can only wait for my wage and see a private specialist.
Thank you, magie, for support. Not exactly so, the work seems more like salvation stopping me thinking of other things, but that's not enough...
Jaquaia
04-01-17, 07:53 PM
Have you considered trying meditation to keep you calm or taking up a hobby to keep you occupied?
I used to have a hobby, but now really have no time for it.
As for meditation, I practiced a little during last year, and I think it's a good idea to return to this practice again.
You should always make time to do those things you enjoy. What hobbies do you like?
Reading, going to threatre (opera, ballet, drama), embroidery.
Then get some tickets to the theatre :)
You should do things you enjoy. Life is too short to be miserable!
The good news is that I passed successfully my exams. The sad situation is that I don't feel accomplished yet in another field of my life.
(party) take the good, lovely, cos that's awesome news!
Massive congratulations regarding your exam results, Selena (bear)
magie06
12-01-17, 08:29 PM
Congratulations on your exam results. You must feel very proud. (party)
Thanks.
It's really an achievement despite my daily mental struggle.
That's brilliant about your exams! So are you going to start looking around for another job?
Not until I get my stamp and meanwhile I'll look around.
S deleted
13-01-17, 04:15 PM
Way to go Selena great news on the exam results.
OldMike
13-01-17, 05:45 PM
Congrats on the exam results Selena you've done brilliantly. (party)
I just want to ask you for prayers or distance positive support.
Now I'm passing through hard times. My grandma is seriously ill and according to the doctor she won't be alive for long time. In my family, the relations had been always complicated, only in the last years the relation became warmer between 3 generations, it is more related to difficult relationship between my mom and grandma. Earlier this summer grandma developed the first symptoms of dementia, but it's not mainly about this, it's about cardiac insufficiency and the risk of stroke.
I can't see someone suffering, especially close person.
I think I'm going to lose my mind or my head will explode. The pressure everywhere and my mother's comments about my illness and the online "wizard" men who damaged my heart and mind. Maybe I'm too troubled, sometimes I feel the desperate need of loving and being loved, or maybe it's related to past failed or non-existent father -daughter relationship.
Rationally I understand everything, I just can't accept some things.
Oh hunni, I'm so sorry about your grandma, I will pray for you (bear)
Thank you, the situation is really difficult to bear, my work is like salvation in current situation despite my boss's pressure. Although sometimes it's hard to keep mask and tears inside in the office.
magie06
15-01-17, 06:53 PM
I'll keep your grandma in my prayers. I'll light a candle in the church next time I go. Take care.(panda)
Sorry to hear about your Grandma Selena am thinking of you all
Sorry about your Grandma lovely.. I'll keep you all in my thoughts..
I hope everybody is fine, because health is the most important thing.
Last year I wrote about lumps, but doctor said there are no reasons to think it is cancer. I had a bad cold some weeks ago, fever didn't last, I basically recovered. But I still feel the lumps and have a kind of cough.
I'm so scared of something more serious like the supreme forces will punish or condemn me.
My mum triggers even more my state. Just don't know what to think about it.
Go and see the Dr again lovely if you are still scared about it..
Go to your dr Selena if you're still worried. It is however normal for lymph nodes to swell if you've got an infection so maybe seeing your dr now when you've got the lumps may help them to understand whether that's connected or not. None of us know what the lumps are and the only people that can answer those questions are the doctors.
A very hard day today. Lumps again...Developing suicidal thoughts, about my fails and the fear of death.
A difficult reunion at work. My boss made us stay till late. And the accountant told us that we don't keep some lists properly. I asked my boss about it and she told me there is no problem. So this woman tries to create mess and involve someone in conflict. I'm doing a lot of work, but there is no proper recognition I guess.
Sometimes I hate myself for being so weak.
I like my job, but I'm fed up with all the fuss around.
Jaquaia
02-02-17, 08:40 PM
Selena, if you're developing suicidal thoughts then you NEED to speak to someone. You can't keep putting it off
Thank you, I'll not leave this anymore, I'll try speaking to someone...better a specialist.
I agree, you really do need to get this sorted lovely.
I don't know how and sometimes I do feel ashamed and proud at once...for what I did today.
I have much work and many customers as well, I can make some errors, but I've never done google translations.
In our office, there is a new girl who has done google translations in her own native language!
my boss proposed me today to work indoors as editor (for about nothing!). I stood up and told her that I'm now an authorized translator, not editor, I enjoy my job and do my job well, and have no time to spend my energy on those who deliberately make a bad job. And that I also enjoy to communicate with customers.
I just can't believe that I stood up for myself so firmly and in a loud voice...
As soon as I get my authorization, she will need me even more, because there are only two authorized office translators of English.
magie06
16-02-17, 07:57 PM
Well done!! I'm so glad that you stood up for yourself today.
Woohoo! Selena well done!
OMGoodness! That's awesome! Well done lovely! So proud of you!!!
OldMike
16-02-17, 09:33 PM
Well done Selena, I'm so glad you stood up to your boss.
Thank you all for your support...I just don't know how I will face her pressure again.
Hopefully in the same way!!
Hey, you did it once, second times much easier
I am so pleased for you that you stood up to her, I know that must have been hard :)
Just want your opinion.
If someone on FB (not too close friend) states something unpleasant or hurting your feelings: mocking your religion, values, or spreading racism etc, what would you do? I mean if you didn't expect it from this person.
Jaquaia
18-02-17, 08:14 PM
I would unfriend and block them.
That's true.
But if he didn't make any posts or reposts, just liking it?
Although it says clearly what the kind of person he/she is...
If you're not comfortable with what that person is posting, you have no obligation to keep having to see those posts
Has someone overpassed the fear of escalators?
Especially when you step up.
I'm not afraid of altitude, high places or mountains, but escalators...
What do you fear about them?
To stumble when I should step on the ground. I also feel my head rushing.
With my children we practised "giant steps" at the top ;)
Reasonably nearby to where I live there is a big shopping centre with a very long escalator right up the middle to the top floor. Once I was going to go on it, and just couldn't. I hated the idea of being 'trapped'.
My first proper job after university was in North London, at the tube station with the longest escalator on the underground; Angel station. I once had to walk all the way up it and it hurt my muscles so bad!!!
But I don't fear them now.... I just prefer not to walk up them!
I know the one you mean at the shopping centre! It's a monster one! I also know Angel and have also had to mountaineer those steps before too..... ;(
This has reminded of growing up in London and communiting on the underground every day to go to college/work (yuk!)...All those escalators and staircases. Strangely I didn't mind them so much back then - I'd hate to have to use them again now. If I visit London now, I prefer to get the bus. Though many stations have got lifts now I think (?) because of the accessibility and the Equality Act ?
I can't get on the tube anymore, I don't know how I ever did it before. It's not the escalators I fear, it's being stuck underground.
I think quite a lot of stations have step-free access now but not all of them.
magie06
24-02-17, 01:54 PM
We don't have underground here. Just no call for it, but the last time I was in Dublin I used the Luas system, but got very afraid when the drug addicts and wino's came onboard and were looking for and pestering passengers for loose change.
So tomorrow it will be an official ceremony where the newly authorized translators will be handed their official documents. It will remain just to order my stamp.
By the way, if someone has an idea of nice stamp variant.
Excited and anxious...
I have a little cold and sore throat.
magie06
27-02-17, 07:57 PM
It sounds like tomorrow is going to be a big day. Good luck and enjoy your big day.
So tomorrow it will be an official ceremony where the newly authorized translators will be handed their official documents. It will remain just to order my stamp.
By the way, if someone has an idea of nice stamp variant.
Excited and anxious...
I have a little cold and sore throat.How exciting! Are you going to have photos taken?
I don't know. My work mate has a good camera, so if there will be such a possibility, he will certainly take some.
Unpleasant situation related to managers and my boss again.
A call in the evening after work from manager X." Hi, there is a big project and should be accepted without objections.Cause the boss said only you and nobody else." Me: "Sorry, but I say no. I have already a plenty of work." She:" Ok, we'll see, there is a small test translation sample and only you in Romanian, Russian and English." I refused to do this in Russian, first of all there are a lot of native speakers there, they are simply a lazy bunch unwilling to work.
Why should everything be put on me? I have no time for myself, I'm over depressed and tired, online communication is my only world.
i don't know how to stand up for myself anymore.
Ok, maybe you tell them you'll take on the big project, on the understanding others take over your other translations.
I thought you were going to look for another job ....
I thought you were going to look for another job too?
Jaquaia
26-05-17, 10:59 PM
Are you looking?
I have been looking.
Today I found courage and told my boss directly about this issue. She quickly said I'm great and it's ok (my requirements).
magie06
27-05-17, 02:56 PM
Hi Selena, I hope that things are a little easier for you this week. How are your mum and grandmother?
My mom is better, there are difficulties, but the recovery passes normally. Grandma is ok too.
Thanks, magie.
I have been looking.
Today I found courage and told my boss directly about this issue. She quickly said I'm great and it's ok (my requirements).That's brilliant! Well done.
My late work was rewarded, German international business trainer Werner Zöller personally thanked me for quick and accurate translation. I'm really pleased but I'm deeply saddened by other thing.
My mom passed x-ray exam with contrast and they considered even an urgent surgery, she has weakened a lot, losing weight and not only. Andf there are some cardiac problems too.
Then they considered surgery planned for September saying that is much more serious intervention this time. We fear that she suddenly feels worse when her doctor will be on holiday (they are practically are).
It is such a hard dilemma. I suddenly got nausea and headache that I can lose her and this nightmare can start again.
Oh sweetheart, I'm not surprised this is hurting. Other than the heart, what do they think is wrong and what surgery do they think they're going to do?
The main problem is about an unidentified object in her liver. I talked to doc about it, he said in the best case it is a stone, in the worst it's a tumor (benign or malign?)
This surgery is probably due in September. They told it would be more difficult and it's about her general resistance in the process.
I'm sorry lovely. It's so hard when your parent is ill. I hope she's resting and eating and drinking properly?
She hasn't always espected diet. But the main problem is that she had been too active during the day in my absence.
That may have weakened her a bit, hunni, but it won't have caused the object in her liver. So what she has to do for the next month is rest, lots.
There is one more problem, They considered this drip treatment (around a week) like a good option, but she feels after it worse. We wish to refuse from it as it's something wrong there, she can't feel worse if everything is right.
What was the drip? Was it just to rehydrate her?
Yes, it seems we have sorted it out. She will just get antibiotics and will postpone the drip treatment due to consequences coming after.
However her doctor told us not to panic and that the second surgery is necessary to be done in autumn.
I would have thought that, if they were really worried, they wouldn't wait til the autumn to do the op. I'd take that as positive news
I agree. If it was severe and serious, then there is no way that a surgeon would wait until September.
We talked with her about our life and future too.
She is very concerned and fears that she can die soon and that's so difficult to find a suitable man (in my case).
Selena, have you tried telling her that there is more to life than finding a man?
Yes, but I think she is very shocked after everything. In these moments, people do believe in curse and bad luck.
They do... But thinking like that doesn't help anyone.
We decided with doc to postpone surgery until autumn.
As for me, I've felt very bad the last days, I thought it was due to gallstone. But it's probably due to my last discovery -high blood pressure, I haven't had any complaints before.
And my boss on my head again, although I do my best for my health first, at least trying.
Sweetheart you need to find some time out lovely...
Unfortunately situation with my mom is not good at all.
Her surgeon and the other one working in Oncology department are the only to perform this kind of surgery in my country, but she is willing to expect her doc, we know that he is not only a great doctor, but a great person too, as for Oncology institute people have told they ask for bribes for everything.
But the problem is deeper.
If she keeps on feeling like this, I doubt she can survive it, I mean be ready for it.
One more thing:She felt ok until the nurse (there are more of them) put her on a drip on the first day,then she suddenly felt worse and ultimately tests proved raised level of sugar.She thinks the nurse committed a mistake...I really don't know, her situation is fragile, but she certainly did feel worse after this, here there had been cases when nurses put mistaken medecines.
yes, there are complaints and hospital usually covers such incidents, but she felt extremely bad and this nurse unexpectedly got on holiday on Monday (first day on the drip was on Saturday).
I mean we have a very few good specialists in medicine, her condition was already fragile.
Her second doctor works in August, but he's young and he is assistant surgeon.
She is due to have some blood tests on Monday. No tumor near pancreas detected, everything clear there and cancer markers apparently more or less ok too.
Her sugar level before the drip was lower, maybe it was due to her reaction to glucose
But the main surgeon and her doc considered and her doc told me that her situation is very fragile and she shouldn't postpone if occurs something worse.
Now she's waiting for referral for nuclear medicine scan, so that they can clearly see everything. The chief of family health center recommended going to Oncology center but she refused, having decided to wait for her surgeon.
And she signed the paper of refusal.
Surgeon told that this surgery will be more complex and they will extract that tissue and finally determine the cause.
I really hope this shall be just a stone or benign tissue.
She had more appetite and was rather vivacious before this drip, but I think even if the drip caused it, it is linked to her initial condition and in such cases any error can be fatal.
After she felt worse, her doc recommended a course of medicines - mainly Heptral.
They noticed smth on x-ray but couldn't identify its nature
If she was weak before that proposal of surgery, now she has weakened more.
He supposed a kind of "medical" Hepatitis.
Her skin got yellower, she lost more weight, occasional rather often waves of nausea, and now high fever nearly daily even she didn't sort out.
She has been given course of antibiotics, but it helped just a little.
I'm really afraid of cancer. But we should resist before it and how she can stand up in this way?
They told cancer final diagnosis or clearance from it can be known only through nuclear tomography and via this surgery.
She often takes Nimesil for fever decrease, today it has slowed down so difficult.
I think I can go crazy, already high blood pressure, I have prayed, but well you know I believe less and less in these things with church.
She has a bad headache too. I really don't know how we can wait and what can be done
Maybe I should talk to my dad, although he is such a weak man and barely helped me with anything...
Sorry for such a messy text and any mistakes.
Does she have a definite diagnosis yet?
No, they said surgery is indispensable for this purpose along with nuclear medicine scan.
Sorry, I think I've missed it. What surgery is it that they want to do? Why? What's her diagnosis?
They detected on x-ray a kind of "enlarged tissue", and she also has this drainage system till now, they want to detect the origin of this tissue and sort out everything.
They considered this tissue or "stone" scan changed in comparison with previous scan made before the last surgery.
The whole situation really bothers me, first of all lack of precise explanations, only that surgery is needed to be done according to the last scans.
Do you mean like a kidney stone or a gallstone? OR something different?
Yes, they mean it, but her previous scan states clearly "tissue of unknown origin". I'm messed up, because there is a difference between a stone and tumor.
There is a big difference. If it's a stone then it's easier to treat
It all sounds very confusing to me. Yellow skin sometimes means jaundice which can be an issue with a liver. But I am not a doctor so don't worry about it, but maybe ask them about that. Forgive me if you have explained this somewhere and I have not seen it.. but what country are you in? I am in Holland :)
I hope they will find the right solution for your mum soon so that she will be okay :)
It's ok. She had a serious liver surgery some months ago, apparently cancer markers blood tests proved to be negative. But doctors are still concerned having some doubts.
But there is good news too. The alternative medecine seems to have worked, so I really hope we'll survive until her surgeon returns from holiday in the upcoming weeks.
It's Southeast Europe, more related to Romania region.
Glad the markers have come back negative.
Hope that you are getting some rest time too lovely lady.
It's ok. She had a serious liver surgery some months ago, apparently cancer markers blood tests proved to be negative. But doctors are still concerned having some doubts.
But there is good news too. The alternative medecine seems to have worked, so I really hope we'll survive until her surgeon returns from holiday in the upcoming weeks.
It's Southeast Europe, more related to Romania region.
That is really good news. I wish you both strength while you wait :) I am in Holland. We have a few international members on here which I really enjoy :)
She feels better but we do have to survive a few days more.
That's great that she's feeling even a little better x
It's really good news, hunni
OldMike
11-08-17, 10:13 PM
That's great news Selena.
When does the doctor come back?
They said in 7-10 days. I really do hope that not later.
Is she still at home with you?
Yes, her childhood friend who has nurse skills has come for 2 days and put her antibiotic injections, she will come tomorrow too.
That's better and easier to manage for you isn't it?
Yes, although today my Mum got injection at local health center.
Still easier than her being in hospital for you I'm sure. Are you still busy at work?
Yes, it's actually nightmare when some newcomers and old staff went abroad, resigned or got fired. And holiday period.
I usually do work from 9 am to 5 pm without hardly any break (some tea + mini lunch). Today have worked till 6 pm. My head is already hurting, I cannot wait for holiday that will come for me in a fortnight!
Pressure is the worst of everything.
However I would rather prefer to work tomorrow full time, but I'm programmed tomorrow for wisdom tooth extraction and I'm a little anxious, although the surgeon seems to be good.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow
Thank you, Paula, I hope it will pass quickly and safely.
Hope that it goes well lovely x
Surgery was difficult but went well, although I do think I won't forget the sound of dental chisel and gouge soon.
Hope for speedy recovery, especially because my mom will be probably admitted to hospital tomorrow.
Glad it went well lovely.. Hope things go well with your Mum.
Hoping all goes to plan today, lovely
Not great at the moment.
Such a hard day, I can barely eat something after surgery, but recovery goes well.
However that is a very hard evening, tomorrow she will be admitted to hospital, fever again and those tests...Such bad nightmares did have we both and before too. We don't want to believe in the worst and her surgeon returned, and I should continue to work....discussion with my boss will follow too. But I really hope everything will be sorted out.
Oh sweetheart, it's best she has those tests and any treatment she can do.. (panda)(bear)
Is your mum in the hospital now then?
She went to the hospital today after lunch. I suggested her to go tomorrow morning. Well, she went there, but returned again with fever, this walking on the street did only harm her.
She will be admitted tomorrow morning as was decided but probably she will remain there till surgery day.
Nothing good yet, but maybe her surgeon will elaborate a plan for quick treatment as she has weakened a lot.
I hope so. Waiting is not nice when you are feeling so bad. But I hope the fever will go and that she is strong enough for the surgery to go well.
Fever slowly went down, but her condition is very fragile. We hope the treatment will went well.
Me too.. let us know how it goes :)
Hope that she makes a speedy recovery lovely x
Sweetie, what is this next surgery for?
They should take out the drainage system and also to take out this tissue and then send it to biopsy.
She is on the drip at hospital and feeling a little better.
Glad she's feeling brighter x
That does sound positive, I hope the biopsy results are okay :)
Good to hear :). How's your mouth?
It is more or less ok, thanks, but I do have a bad bruise below and it still hurts.
It will... (bear) How's your Mum?
OldMike
19-08-17, 06:28 PM
(bear) (panda)
Thank you for support.
Not so good.
They put her on catheter. Yes, her condition improved, she returned home and had no fever. Tomorrow she will go to hospital again and on the next week too. There is a certain progress due to medications.
They want to prepare her for surgery (most probably the upcoming week). But tests showed that liver related indicators are worse.
So, they want to reestablish first her condition and surgery will be decided only after.
Finding blood donors will be hard here.
Her hospital room neigbour is Christian baptist and she feels happy to have such a neigbour by her side.
Each morning she goes for drip to hospital, spending there half a day and later returns home.
In case of need, she stays over night as it's too hot there.
Ahh, OK.. Do you have help and support?
Yes, there is a ittle help from her friend, but she herself copes with some health problems.
As long as you have some help...
I hope her liver will find the strength to cope with all the treatments so that she can have the surgery she needs.
Why will it be hard to find the blood donors? Does she have a rare blood type or is there just not enough blood?
Do you manage to get good rest anytime? (bear)
No, she doesn't have a rare blood type. This is the kind of local policy - they provide blood, and you should find replacement in person of blood donors regardless of their blood group.
Yes, a little.
It's a very different system to ours, Am. Selena, I pray you have no trouble finding what your mum needs (panda)
I am glad you rested a bit. It sounds like this will not happen quickly so please try to prioritise resting so that you have enough energy for yourself and your mum. Sleep is so important in times like this.
It sounds like a very difficult system. I will be hoping it works out smoothly for you both.
Yes, but they wanted surgery not to be postponed, the thing is that they cannot decide it without reestablishing her general condition within normal limits first.
How is her condition today?
And how are you holding up? :)
It's more or less stable. But we'll soon have surgery, probably on Thursday.
That's good, at least she's not having to wait much longer (bear)
Glad it's not too long to wait lovely.
The situation is so bad, I'm still under deep shock and suddenly developed acute tonsillitis.
My mum had a very serious surgery and still in critical condition, with partial removal of some vital organs. It's probably cancer tumor.
It was such a positive progress.
I'm feeling like I can lose my mind. Altough another doc told me her situation is stable for her condition and they sent material for biopsy.
I had such a bad feeling before. I regret so much I maybe wasn't a good daughter enough. I tried to study material on the internet, but it really did scare me.
Hold on, I thought she was going in to have a small operation. Why such major surgery? What's she had removed?
Of course you've been a good daughter! That has nothing to do with whether your Mum gets ill or not anyway! Stop googling. Wait and talk to the Drs.
That is the strangest thing ever. There were concerns about a small piece of tissue on x-ray. In July she was told that maybe she will not need any surgery.\
She suddenly felt bad after drip. And considered it was a mistaken medicine that led to these consequences.
I really don't know what to believe...The surgeon who did it is brilliant specialist and kind person. He did first surgery too. I felt something is wrong when he appeared pale and concerned. He said that this surgery is unique and extremely rare in my country (only he and other specialist had the right to do it).
My throat hurts and I really don't know where to find resources for continuous struggle.
Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry (panda). I'm so relieved they decided to do the surgery after all. Hunni, she's in the right place and is getting the care she needs. Try to keep calm - she needs you to be strong for her.
And there is my grandma too.
The doc gave me treatment with antibiotics, my sore hurts like some knives have been put into it and seem unable to swallow.
I regret so that we haven't had done enough walks in the park for example, I expected everything but not this.
You can't go for walks in the park when you are feeling unwell.
How are your Mum and your Grandma today? I hope they are both doing well and that your Mum is making a very speedy recovery.
I'm on antibiotics and I should eat, but I cannot eat anything, just lemon, water and tea. But I should...
My mum is still in severe condition, but stable. The two donors will try to give blood for her these days.
I met her surgeon, he said " Sweetie, just pray and maybe she will get out from this". He is a brilliant surgeon and a kind person.
He said from his experience it's 90 % pancreas cancer, maybe tumor won't appear again, it's important her recovery now.
It was my inner feeling this time is something horrible. And all of us know that pancreas cancer even survivors don't last for long time.
OldMike
25-08-17, 03:22 PM
(bear) (panda)
My sore hurts and feel like losing my breath, I learned out that only 8 % of patients survive the 5-year barrier on this stage.
That makes me feel out of my mind.
Where did you learn that statistic, hunni?
On several medical sites.
Although it seems good it was detected at earlier phase...
Now myself I develop cancer fear including for me and fear of losing her...that drives me crazy.
Selena stop and breathe. Sweetheart day by day.
The good news is that I've finally seen my mom today. It was very emotional meeting. Still waiting for biopsy, but it's probably cancer.
This is the bad news already and that I'm feeling useless due to my mental problems, due that I cannot cope with anything like the others would do, because I've got frustrated and suicidal and losing any direction and hope, because I hope pains everywhere.
And the last one...my f ...boss has written something that she can leave me only for a week. Why should they attack me like wild animals? If their mother were cancer affected, would they work? And besides it's my legal leave, why should others come and go when they want?
In fact, if she fires me, she can go to hell as some translators already left her company and I'm human, not robot myself, I'm authorized translator and work in her company not for enough money in fact. I could have done google translations but I never did like others.
We're not slaves, I'm already not only feeling bad, but literally suffocating.
Oh hunni....
With regard to your Mum - sweetheart if it is cancer, then I'm sure that the Drs will do all they can. But you are not useless. How do you think you should be coping?
If you are feeling suicidal then please get proper help asap.
Wrt your boss - hunni, talk to her. How much time do you want her to give you off?
Two weeks, it was my legal leave actually.
Then talk to her and remind her it's your legal leave if you have to. Just ask her nicely to start with..
Thanks for suggestion, after all, I'm not guilty that people left her after a while since they had started working.
Exactly.. Just talk to her. You've been able to reason with her previously about other things.
(panda). Hunni, your MH problems do not make you useless. You've been looking after your mum and grandmother successfully over the past few very difficult months - there's no reason why you can't continue to do so. Just be yourself, show your mum you love her. That'll be all she needs from you
Thank you for nice words.
I've been to hospital again, maybe she will be released in a couple of days.
Her room mates are fine, and very friendly. There are no results of biopsy yet, but we discussed even joked that whatever the diagnosis will be, we'll see what to do and try to fight.
Wow, released so soon? She must be doing really well lovely..
Yes, doctor said for her condition and serious surgery is not bad at all.
But the cancer question still remains unsorted...
When will you know?
You're doing amazingly well you know coping with this..
By Friday probably.
Lumps are already suffocating me.
I'd lay money they're not and that it's the anxiety making you feel like that, sweetheart. And it's completely understandable under the circumstances. Have you spoke to your doctor about what's going on and the impact it's having on you? (panda)
I'll talk, but by next weej, only to survive this and my boss's pressure...
Hi selena. Sorry you're feeling poorly. I have to agree with Paula, I think it's anxiety that's causing the feeling of suffocation. Everything tenses up and you get a constricted feeling that makes it difficult to breathe - well I do anyway! - your mum seems to be looked after very well and she's very lucky to have such a loving and caring daughter as you. Try to get as much rest and relaxation as you can, and look after yourself.(panda)
OldMike
31-08-17, 10:19 AM
I'm sorry you are feeling unwell, I think the stress and anxiety caused by your mother being in hospital could be a contributing factor.
You are a good daughter and you are dealing with this stressful time in the best possible way you can. (bear)
Selena, when did you take 30 mins out and just sit and concentrate on you or go for a walk? Just do something "normal" and with no pressure on you at all?
Suzi, I'll try, but that's hard. I was at hospital today, she was anxious first and due to the last circumstances deals with mood swings.
Thanks everybody for support.
You always have our support lovely. Do try to get some time for you love, it's so important.
Hope your Mum is getting better quickly lovely.
Me too, but there are moments I'm feeling useless and even suicidal.
I cannot win any illness.
If you are feeling suicidal then please get to your Dr asap or call a helpline? It's serious and you need help.
I've thought about the whole situation up to the early morning, I've calmed down, but of course it is a serious issue.
Then please go and see someone....
We saw each other again, she will probably be released on Monday. She is very anxious due to her condition (unknown yet).
Then all you can do is keep her calm until you actually know what it is that you are dealing with...
It's horrible, waiting, isn't it? You're in my prayers, lovely
Paula and everybody, I'm so grateful for your support and help, because I'm already on the edge.
We don't know the results yet. She is very anxious too, getting to cry etc. It hurts me to see her like that and that sometimes she misinterprets anything. She tends to believe that she was (accidentally or not?) poisoned by nurse, but who was it possible that the tumor grows in such a short time?!
She also refuses to get any psychological assistance, and is obstinate to take care of old grandma. Grandma has serious dementia problems and she doesn't properly recognize us, and mum at all. How can she care about her, if she is not able to take properly care after herself following such a serious surgery? But she refuses that grandma should be taken to hospital like the doctor suggested. And I should work after all.
I also don't know whether I should announce my dad or not...he isn't much to help, but still...
So who's looking after your grandma? Is it worth suggesting to your mum that grandma goes into temporary respite care while your mum is recovering? And then make a decision when she's feeling better?
I think we'll decide by next week.
Oh sweetheart. You can't do it all. You can't look after your Grandma and your Mum whilst she recuperates and work and if you don't work you don't get paid.... You are going to have to ask the drs to help you to get some help in, even temporarily.
Why does your Mum think she was poisoned?
Because she felt well before the drips and the scans didn't reveal anything.
However, I doubt that even a mistaken solution can develop into a tumor for such a short time.
Jaquaia
02-09-17, 06:32 PM
Have you seen your doctor recently?
No, our GP doesn't deal with it and my doctor is on holiday.
Jaquaia
02-09-17, 08:12 PM
Then until you can see your doctor, you need to try and look after yourself as best you can. You have to look after yourself first or you will be no good to your mum or grandma lovely.
Sweetheart nobody could miraculously grow a tumour in someone in that time period. That's just not possible. You need to tell the dr that's what she's saying because that could be serious for that nurse too...
This nurse even put her post surgery drip now. The surgeon talked to her and convince her not to emphasize this subject...that she must recover first of all.
We've found out the results, it's biliary tract cancer probably phase II- III. She returned home today but tomorrow she will be at hospital again during day time, maybe will return by night.
Anyway she will be dismissed soon, the only thing is that she should obey and later go for check to the Institute of Oncology. And maybe radiochemotherapy...
Her surgeon said the surgery wasn't too late, treatment to follow and the other things besides medical aid are in the hands of God.
Ok, hunni, so it's been caught in time to treat, which is good news. I know hearing someone you love has cancer is a massive blow but the doctors will do all they can and, from what you say, they sound cautiously positive. For now, your job is to look after your family and, just as important, look after yourself (panda)
I know how hard it is to hear that a parent has cancer. BUT with this one they have said that there are options. Good options. Make sure she goes to oncology and go with her and ask all the questions you have.
I wish God will help me not to lose my mind and to think it right.
You will but you're bound to be in shock so your mind will be a little foggy at the moment. The only thing you can do this evening is get some rest. You're in my prayers, hunni
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