View Full Version : Time Passing By and Fear of Failure *Triggers*
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1. Tell your boss you're entitled to a holiday and you're going to take it. End of. Ignore the bitches - there are always some in a office. The man - make a note of what he says and when he says it, for evidence. Then tell him you'll call the police if he does it again. That's work sorted
2. Your mum is against H. She's right. Tell her that.
3. H is an arsehole. Get rid of him. And you've done a photo session once, you can do it again.
If people are commenting to your boss, tell them they're unreasonable and, if your boss or customers have a problem with your work, you will talk to your boss then,
Sorted
This is exactly what I was thinking!
Here it's very difficult to find a good psychologist.
But I think I need it, at least try.
Finally I have some good news, I've got promoted at current work place, not only being a translator, but a general manager at University department translation office.
I'm overwhelmed, although feeling insecure about everything. Boss mentioned that everything is all right and customers are satified not only because of my linguistic skills, but also cause of my polite manner of holding discussion.
A photographer came to the office today to take my photo for general presentation and personal bussines.
BUT! He Did Not Put any photoshop! Not even covering moles caused by sun and birth marks! The good thing is that he made me smile, a rare thing, in fact a very pleasant person. And I seem to be so extraweight and burnt by sun.
I'll put photo only because you're nearby, as if someone says something you're here for support.
You can congratulate me, but there is a reverse side: too much extra work even on holidays and some other moments.
So thank you all, I hope you have a good day!
That's brilliant! Well done! Congratulations!
Congratulations - it shows you're good at your job and a lovely person (which we all knew). Focus on the good stuff :)
Today I've finished translation of 127-pages PDF file. Still can't believe it!
Congratulations from me too Selena. You must be highly regarded at work. I'm sure you'll love your new position.(bear)
Yes, but changes come very slowly.
I've had an appointment with ENT specialist today. He said things got much better, he prescribed me vitamin tablets that I'm supposed to take in a two week period. They are rather expensive, but if doc prescribed ... He saw my anxiety and I told me that I don't have to worry about this, there are no signs pointing at tumours etc. I think I should trust him. As my condition can be strengthened by vulnerability and much stress at work. I think I should trust him.
And in a month the next appointment.
That's really positive! It's good they have checked you over completely!
OldMike
22-07-16, 11:16 AM
Hope the vitamins do the trick Selena and try not to worry as it looks like things are improving. (bear)
I hope so too, although I didn't get an appointment to additional specialists, as my doc considers there are no suspicious signs.
I hope you are trusting your Dr.... Hopefully this will stop at least some of your worrying...
Today I've started thinking about some quality leisure time: I don't remember when it was the last time I read a good fiction, watched a good movie etc.
It was my dad's birthday, so I talked to him over phone, although I knew nothing changed about him or grandma...
I've had an appointment with dentist today. I don't feel the consequences a lot. Lumps again...
My psychological condition is a disaster instead... I'm feeling very lonely and destroyed, desperately hoping like a stupid for some changes.
Jaquaia
27-07-16, 08:10 PM
What do you think the biggest issue you have is?
What? You have more lumps or are they the same lumps?
Have you thought any more about seeing a counsellor or a psychiatrist?
One more lump.
Yes, I've thought.
The main issue is however pressure at work, my doc said that this kind of stress could bring anyone to the edge.
Are you looking around for another job?
I'm better today.
I'm afraid it's not possible at the moment, there is nothing better here yet. I just need a break. Generally I can't change the system.
But are you actively looking for different employment?
Yes, not now.
But I will see what could change after exam.
Selena, did you ever get an explanation of what the lumps are?
Exam is expected to be in September or October, I don't know yet.
No concrete explanation, pharyngitis consequence.
So the lumps are in your neck?
The ones I'm very concerned, yes. Although there is no concrete evidence, just a kind of specific condition.
My doc told me that is about stress too, cause I have endocrine disorder.
What did they say it was?
Like consequence of tonsillitis. Well, in a month I will be checked again.
I feels so lost. Professionally it's more or less ok, but I suffer because of loneliness and because of my depressive mood, I'm feeling like I'm completely unable to change something.
I have plans, but I cannot get over some things.
I don't know what I could have done without your support.
If I can't cope with depression, I think I'll see specialist despite my mum's protests. I fight but not everything is in my power.
You don't currently receive any treatment for depression and anxiety? I thought you did!
No, it was many years ago, basically nitrozepam.
Here unfortunately there is no normal medical care provided.
Jaquaia
30-07-16, 12:52 PM
I thought you did too! No wonder you're struggling! Can you ask your gp about taking an antidepressant?
bluerose
30-07-16, 01:17 PM
I think 35 is about the age you can safely have children generally speaking. Have you considered fostering or adoption or getting a pet? It is better to have a partner you want to be with than be stuck with you don't. want.Keep trying and don't give up and then at least you have a chance. At least your medication is working. It's horrible to be hysterical . Have you tried ASMR videos on YouTube? I find these quite relaxing or try a crossword. Even if you get a partner, it is no guarantee they will look after you in old age. There will be someone to look after you. I thought I was alone but I'm now in touch with the Community Mental Health Team and have found them very helpful. I'm in Britain. I don't know if you have something similar in your country but you could ask around. Maybe try a medication to calm you down when you get hysterical.When I worry about the future I try to live one hour at a time and use it as constructively as possible.
No, I haven't yet, as for adopting a pet - yes, I 've thought, especially after my kitty passed away some months ago.
Videos seem to be a good idea, I'll have a look.
I've had an appointment with ENT specialist today. He said things got much better, he prescribed me vitamin tablets that I'm supposed to take in a two week period. They are rather expensive, but if doc prescribed ... He saw my anxiety and I told me that I don't have to worry about this, there are no signs pointing at tumours etc. I think I should trust him. As my condition can be strengthened by vulnerability and much stress at work. I think I should trust him.
And in a month the next appointment.
Good, again you've been told the lumps are related to pharyngitis and hormones, it's not cancer. You should trust the dr - as several Drs have said the same thing. So please, please stop worrying about this.
And please see a dr about your MH. Have you had a formal diagnosis or review recently?
Jaquaia
30-07-16, 04:08 PM
No to a formal diagnosis or a review?
Some years ago it was mentioned as "depression as traumatic effect", the other specialist feared bipolar disorder. It was in Latvia. So I'm confused about everything.
Jaquaia
30-07-16, 04:58 PM
You need to go and speak to your doctor. You need to be completely honest with him about how you're feeling and at least try some form of treatment, whether it is antidepressants or talking therapies. The medication you mentioned is not an antidepressant, but is a benzodiazepine that is meant to be used short term. Please go and see your doctor.
I should choose the local doctor, it's not so simple, but I could start the process.
Jaquaia
30-07-16, 05:08 PM
Then do it. You will not get better if you aren't prepared to help yourself
I should choose the local doctor, it's not so simple, but I could start the process.
Yes you do! Immediately
Hope you are going to do it! You deserve to get better and be happy x
OldMike
31-07-16, 10:16 AM
I agree totally with Jaq and the previous posters, Selena you need to see a doctor and be totally honest as to how you feel with him/her.
You cannot imagine how angry I am. My boss told me today that I have no right to take holiday in August or September and even in October! Cause I and others are like "rented property", who may take holiday only from November. And saying that I was absent during neraly a year only 5 times!
That's ridiculous, so she dares to exploit anyone as she wants, trying to give the wrong state of things!
Or did she forget how much work I've been doing till now?!
Then maybe you need to work only in the timed hours, not evenings and weekends!
Thank you, Suzi. Unfortunately I don't have much choice, so I have only one free Saturday per month.
S deleted
11-08-16, 12:38 AM
Of course you have a choice. If you are employed for 40hrs per week you work 40 hrs per week. If the workload cannot be completed in that time then it's down to your boss to either not take on so much work or hire someone to help you.
You have a choice. If she's unwilling to accept the hard work you put in, then work normal, not extended, hours and go home and have a social life outside work. Your work/life balance is horrendous yet she still undermines you
Just shared my joy on a social account. Today I've been for the time at baby birth!
My friend gave birth to a healthy baby girl.
I'm tired, but it was an unique and amazing experience!
Today I've had a good, but very full day: a lot of customers, although everybody normal and satisfied with my work.
The problem is with my director. She didn't pay me and the most of my colleagues for work done in July. The apparent reason - someone did extra work for another company and the other person took money from customers without asking her permission.
But what did I have to do with it, and in fact most of my colleagues?
I've always been loyal, I have no father or boyfriend to get money from or spoil me, like she refers to anybody in the company.
She said we were in a way 'nothing" when she employed us into her agency. Doesn't she contradict herself?
That's outrageous! Can you complain to anyone?
Are there no laws/rights n place to protect you from that?
Well, here the things are difficult. But I'll try to sort it out today.
I think you have to lovely...
OldMike
26-08-16, 09:36 AM
Surely it is illegal to withhold pay from an employee for work they've done.
She promised to give it to me the next week.
By next week she'll owe you for August too! I know you get a salary, but do you have to wait for the commission on translations, i.e. does she charge them, wait to get paid, then give you your cut?
She gives only some details every email. So she called me today and promised to give salary on Monday.
Glad you're going to be paid on Monday.
Today it was a religious holiday. I went to church, but I felt very very uncomfortable cause there was very crowded.
In the Orthodox church people have a very bad habitude to hold in hands candles even in crowded spaces, close to other people's back.
I usually pull my hair up, but this time I've simply forgotten. So, I suffered a sudden and unexpected shock, when my hair got burnt by a candle held by an older woman.
Thank God, nothing serious happened. But I nearly cried after all this.
Oh hunni, that must have been scary - I'm not surprised you were tearful!
Oh my goodness! Hope that you're OK! That would have been terrifying!
Thank you, I'm fine, but suffered a great stress.
I'm not surprised! I'd be so sad if my hair got burnt! Did much get burnt off?
Not much, but still. My hair is not straight, that's why it's passed unnoticed.
Another tooth of wisdom is in process of development, that is why I'm currently coping with pains. Only painkillers can help.
I was told that another one should be covered with ceramic crown with metal (natural white colour). But before this I should follow treatment and choose between dental pinlay or just pivot crown.
I'm really confused.
What else? My boss took a 5-day holiday, while the team "parasytes" works. A girl was fired with no reason and a new colleague resigned because of her way of treating people.
Over here, any wisdom teeth that are causing trouble are just taken out. We don't need them. We only have them because we evolved to replace our molars that were lost through bad dental hygiene in ancient times - and, certainly in the western world, we rarely lose molars anymore - my piece of useless knowledge for you ;)
I'm so so tired of everything: of my boss, busy hours, not very accurate translators for whose works I should blush (example:"average minimum" instead of "minimum average", it's not about the fact they're tired), multiple tasks, basically no holidays, everything...
I'm always given multiple tasks, it is abnormal. Do you think it is normal to be at once customer office manager, translator, sometimes editor and just customer service girl?
I think I'm going crazy.
I want to, just waiting for my exam to pass. The thing is that now I'm the only one who works in our family. My mom basically does work about the house, and I work.
Today here it's a bank holiday, but I verify my colleague's work.
Just imagine, the Ministry hasn't posted any announcement yet. But I guess no later than November.
It's a pity I cannot have this year any proper holiday abroad and it's strange but sometimes I'm afraid of starting crying in my office (thankfully, there are no other colleagues nearby).
Can you call someone and ask when they will be?
Yes, I can call tomorrow.
I thought it was due to take place earlier than that ...
I hope this period just vanishes, as I'm ashamed to say, but I'm feeling so uncomfortable and unhappy...
Then call them and find out lovely..
Today I've struggled with a couple of sad and even a little "suicidal'' thoughts. Thank God, I've had normal clients and in fact enjoyed a rather peaceful day.
I left office at 5 pm, and took my client's translation. We agreed to meet on my road home, after I handed him the document, he thanked me and kissed my hand. I must admit I blushed...
Another client - a woman, gave me a black chocolate bar. It's pleasant, but I feel so uncomfortable in these moments.
The worst thing is that I can't properly take capsules, they seem so big to get them at once. These are capsules and I get into panic and mostly manage to take them after gelatine "leaves" the capsule in my hands:
http://upmanager.ru/jimumst/posle-semyaizverzhenie-bolit-pryamaya-kishka32806.jpg
Jaquaia
02-09-16, 07:06 PM
Have you been to a doctor and had your depression diagnosed?
I'm currently waiting for appointment.
Jaquaia
02-09-16, 07:13 PM
Then please be honest with them and they can take steps to help you
Sorry, I don't understand. What are the capsules?
Sorry, I don't understand. What are the capsules?
A type of pill I'm afraid of taking, I mean problems in process of taking them.
Here it is:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capsule_(pharmacy)
I've been prescribed pills in mentioned pharmacy form.
What are the capsules for? And I bet they're smaller than some food you've swallowed .........
Jaquaia
02-09-16, 09:42 PM
Yes but what are they? Is it the form you struggle with? Would you be able to take them in tablet form?
Doc prescribed them in order to boost the immune system weakened by stress and hormonal problems. I've already taken them for one-week period, but if I get it right, they lose their effect if not taken integrally or divided etc.
No, he said there is no tablet form for them.
Jaquaia
02-09-16, 09:51 PM
But what are they called? Do you struggle taking them because of how big they are or is it another reason?
Polijen caps. First of all because they are big and I'm struggling every time to take them integrally. And then general fear of its effect. I know that sounds stupid.
They are big like on pic.
http://irecommend.ru.q5.r-99.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/copyright1/user-images/93891/SEue35JQU0TuTy44kfDwZw.jpg
Jaquaia
02-09-16, 10:04 PM
It doesn't sound stupid. Read the patient information leaflet so you know what side effects are possible. I've just googled it and from a quick glance, nothing seems that severe. I would recommend drinking a lot of water when you take it
Thanks, I'll try. I want to say that after taking them around a week, I'm not feeling so tired as before.
They look like a multi vitamin type medication. I can't see anything problematic in it either.
Try taking bit of bread, rolling it up into that size and practice swallowing those..
I have a problem swallowing some big pills. My Quetiapine, for instance, is big and can't be split into smaller pieces because it's meant to break down slowly in the body (modified release).
I recently started taking omega3, they are really big!!!
Try sipping water before attempting to take the pill, I find a few normal swallows before the one with the pill helps me to relax about swallowing.
My boss calmed down and I have to say that a psychologist in our team became a precious member.
Today we celebrated birthday of one of my colleagues, it was nice.
Glad that she has calmed down.
I want to mention that I have been struggling for some time with pains in my left knee. I noticed for the first time the acute pain in March, during a stressful moment. But it didn't stop and yesterday it suddenly got accute and I got fever (although I don't know if it's connected to the first one).
I don't get it, but read that sometimes inflammatory processes in articulations are caused by other illnesses, including endocrine diseases. I don't remember any traumas that could have caused this pain.
I'm really upset about it. I guess x-ray examination should be done.
Jaquaia
11-09-16, 01:33 PM
Stop googling your symptoms and see a doctor. It could simply be a strain or something simple like tendonitis or bursitis. Haven't you said before that you've had endocrine investigations done and they found nothing but PCOS?
I want to mention that I have been struggling for some time with pains in my left knee. I noticed for the first time the acute pain in March, during a stressful moment. But it didn't stop and yesterday it suddenly got accute and I got fever (although I don't know if it's connected to the first one).
I don't get it, but read that sometimes inflammatory processes in articulations are caused by other illnesses, including endocrine diseases. I don't remember any traumas that could have caused this pain.
I'm really upset about it. I guess x-ray examination should be done.
Hi Selena....well if you've had it before and in March, I very much doubt it's anything serious other wise you'd know about it before now. Don't be upset...knees are funny things. My right knee squeaks when I come down stairs!...if it persists over a long period and bothers you everyday then have it looked at. If it only bothers you every now and then and it goes away for weeks I wouldn't stress yourself over it. And DON'T look things up on google and medical websites otherwise you'll think you have everything! See how it goes.
Yes that's true.
My medical translations probably just increase the stress linked to my problems.
I know knees, believe me that if there was something seriously wrong, there wouldn't be a six month period between pain attacks. You could have twisted it doing anything, rest, ice it and elevate it and it'll be fine I'm sure
Sweetheart I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about. Knees do weird things..
Luckily it seems there is nothing wrong with my knee, inflammation of tendons seems to be a common complaint among office workers.
But lumps...again and again...
It seems there is no end and I feel totally desperate and exhausted.
I'm so sorry you feel low Selena..any chance you can take a couple of days off just to rest up and recharge your batteries?(bear)
On skin and throat (sensation).
Have you shown the doctor?
Sorry, do you mean you've been and shown the doctor your lumps? What did they say?
They prescribed treatment for those on throat, but not much progress has been achieved, although doc tried to convince me there is nothing to worry about. it's pharyngitis consequence from their point of view.
As for those on skin, they can be eliminated, but the first biopsy should be done.
Jaquaia
13-09-16, 04:37 PM
Can I ask why you won't believe the doctor when they say the lumps are nothing to worry about? They go through years and years of university study, practical study, training and exams. They know what they're talking about. Who has said about a biopsy?
throat (sensation).
Do you mean inside your throat?
Pharyngitis can cause little lumps to appear. Not a lot they can do about it. But like Jaq says selena, try not to worry, if the doctor has looked down your throat and said not to worry, then don't worry! I'm sure they'll disappear by themselves. Make sure you drink plenty of water or juice.
Thank you, Flo. I just don't get why they can't disappear forever.
I'm sure they will in time..
Nothing new here, just usual state of anxiety. In the process of working my thoughts get dark and I get very anxious, nearly on the point of crying or beating head against the wall...
I just a need a break, although I don't have any problems with translation.
My boss wants me to pass my exam for certification of court translator in 4 languages. I don't agree, I have a lot of work to do and not only in the office, even a text of spousal trial on alimony might be very complex.
What don't you agree with? The exam or the number of languages?
The number of languages, I think 3 is enough. My boss and others simply want everything done at once. No wonder, she has no studies in the field and nor human sense of comprehension.
I'm already very anxious.
I've told her, after all it is my decision.
I don't know why, maybe because I haven't had a holiday for a year, I'm feeling very very low.
Have you been to your Dr and told them how you are feeling?
I'm still waiting for my appointment.
Can you call and try getting a cancellation?
Just imagine my boss's indifference to her employees weekend!
Today she phoned me in spare time and asked if I can translate a text. I rejected of course. I can't complain I have a bad job, but sometimes it's so difficult getting along with her!
I've had a rather stressful day...But everything ended well.
So, first talking about professional side. A woman came to my office at around 11 a.m. She needed an urgent translation from document into German, and sometimes it's difficult to find a suitable translator into German, especially for urgent translations and more complex documents! She was misguided by a novice from our office who wrongly promised her an urgent translation done by me! And I don't speak German at all.
Well, she showed this piece of translation on her iphone! But she couldn't send it to me via email, nor via skype! She asked me, if the agency and workers have iphones and vibers. It was a big No. The only way was FB. I hesitated and accepted her friend request cause of urgency and finally the files were in pocket! But I've found a translator with great difficulty. I just couldn't believe it had finished the moment I could easily breathe.
The second story is disgusting. There was a man on my FB who started to follow, hunt and basically harassed me. I've get rid of him, but I'm still afraid. It's so stupid feeling cause it's online, but that's it.
Jaquaia
27-09-16, 06:35 PM
Block him and report it to fb
I've already deleted him, but he sent me a message from different account!
Should you be adding people for work to your FB?
Sounds like you've done the right thing about that man and I'm sorry things have been so horrible.
(bear) hunni. I know you've blocked him but have you reported it, as Angie says?
No, but this woman asked so desperately that I made an exception.
No, but I promised to report him, if he bothers me again.
I've already deleted him, but he sent me a message from different account!
I have a rather persistent 'friend' who creates new profiles just to speak to me. Definitely report if it continues (bear)
My authoritary boss decided to invite all her employees to bar and to mark in this way Inetrnational Translator's Day. It's on Friday. But I don't want to go, after they asked I decided to stay there only one-two hours
Additionally, I have had for a week or a little more acute pains in the lower part of leg so that I can barely step on both feet. It's so strange, cause despite having flat feet since childhood, I was able to run even on high heels!
My mom is warned and exaggerated about perspective of serious health disorder.
That sounds nice to be included at the bar!
Sweetheart, your Mum is always going to tell you that you have serious health disorders.. You need to learn to not pay so much attention to her.
Yes, but I actually experience this pain.
Jaquaia
28-09-16, 09:43 PM
So go and see your gp. There are loads of simple reasons why you experience pain.
Pain is your bodies way of telling you that you are doing too much. Have you changed your footwear? Done more or less walking?
No.
But I've forgotten to tell you maybe the most important news - I've been allowed to take a 2-week holiday in the beginning of November!
Hooray for the holiday time!
Exactly, but still a month to go.
Tomorrow it's such a nightmare for me again, staying with my boss in bar for one-two hours...
Because I feel depressive and I can't stand now parties, especially big ones.
You can always leave earlier if you need to.. But the same with the last office party you might enjoy it when you get there.
Well, I can't say I passed a bad evening, although I with some colleagues quitted earlier cause it's hard staying near boss. It's difficult to relax. From a positive side there weren't many people.
Actually I nearly burst into tears and being into edge side, cause my mother's words about developping illness, the lack of periods, putting some kilos and that it's devastating. I really wanted to hide and literally vanish from this world.
However I decided to fight as far as it's possible and I think with your help not losing the last hope. It's impossible that everything is lost.
The worst thing ever is to always being reminding about being so ill and never been so "fat" in the past. But getting into panic doesn't do me any favours.
Jaquaia
30-09-16, 08:36 PM
You know what I'm going to say, about both your illness and your mother. I think you need to look into therapy to deal with having PCOS and to accept it isn't a very serious illness. I also think you need to get away from the poison your mother says, that woman is toxic.
I know and I think the best option is to care about myself and then move for a while. I love her, but that's got hard.
Selena, I'm a lot fatter than you, I don't have pcos, but I was told when I was 16 that I'd never be able to have children. I have 3. You aren't seriously ill lovely, it's perfectly possible for you to have babies - as much as it's totally possible for those without pcos to not be able to have them.
Selena, I'm a lot fatter than you, I don't have pcos, but I was told when I was 16 that I'd never be able to have children. I have 3. You aren't seriously ill lovely, it's perfectly possible for you to have babies - as much as it's totally possible for those without pcos to not be able to have them.
Yes, but the thing with periods...
I didn't start my periods till the weekend before my 16th birthday... I've never had a regular cycle..
That stops me from having a normal relationship with others, my condition and her words stuck in my head growing panic and anxiety!
Jaquaia
30-09-16, 10:02 PM
Selena, I haven't had a period in 7 months. It doesn't stop you having a normal relationship with others, neither does PCOS. You are making excuses and you are letting her ruin your life. You need to take action to deal with her words. Try and find techniques to block her words out, be harsh with her when you tell her that her words are cruel as polite obviously isn't working. See a counsellor to deal with your illness and learn to accept it. You are NOT seriously ill, your mother is wrong. She is bullying you, but she needs you more then you need her right now.
There is also my boss, she usually scolds us down after her parties, it's a kind of strong manipulation.
S deleted
01-10-16, 08:17 AM
Oh so now it's your bosses fault you can't have a relationship or kids? Selena, you need to take a deep breath, step back and look at what you are saying. You are a grown woman and you need to take control of your own life, make your own decisions and stop allowing people to manipulate and bully you.
That stops me from having a normal relationship with others, my condition and her words stuck in my head growing panic and anxiety!
No. Having PCOS does NOT stop you from having a normal relationship with friends/having lovers or anything else. PCOS doesn't affect your mobility, it doesn't stop you from being in so much physical pain that it's agony to get out of bed, let alone anything else. PCOS doesn't mean that you are deformed through your illness, it doesn't mean you are disfigured. I'm not wanting to belittle it, but lovely even the NHS website describes it as:
The three main features of PCOS are as follows
irregular periods (http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Periods-irregular/Pages/Introduction.aspx) – which means your ovaries don't regularly release eggs (ovulation)
excess androgen – high levels of "male hormones" in your body, which may cause physical signs such as excess facial or body hair (see signs and symptoms below)
polycystic ovaries – your ovaries become enlarged and contain many fluid-filled sacs (follicles) which surround the eggs (it's important to note that, despite the name, if you have PCOS you don't actually have cysts)
If you have at least two of these features you may be diagnosed with PCOS
Taken from http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/polycystic-ovarian-syndrome/Pages/Introduction.aspx
There is also my boss, she usually scolds us down after her parties, it's a kind of strong manipulation.
In what way?
She criticizes us without no ground, makes work extra hours or holidays (Saturday). But this Saturday I'm free again.
Selena, I care about you but, honestly, I'm hurt at you describing (or repeating your mothers words) pcos as a serious illness. I have several truly serious illnesses which have a massive impact on my life, and are, individually and together, life changing/life limiting. I have also massive issues with hormones, ovarian damage, endometrial problems. Yet, despite all this, I live my life, I've had 2 children, I care about my life. There is no reason to give up on leading a good life, especially not something like pcos which can be managed
The thing is that there are cases of serious diseases in my family, and I guess this thing frightens her. Then probably the stereotypes of society I'm living in, even being a little different makes the things more difficult.
Thank you, the support I get here in the darkest moments makes me move forward!
Selena there may be cases of serious illness but that does not mean that you will get a serious illness,
My family has a horrible history of some seriously horrendous illnesses but I do not and wont let that rule my life, I also wont let my family or anyone else do that to me either.
Jaquaia
01-10-16, 08:30 PM
My grandma died of bowel cancer, she also had cervical cancer. So did 2 of my aunts. My grandad died of lung cancer, so did another aunt. I have a form of anaemia which I seem to have inherited from my parents, which if left untreated can cause quite serious neurological problems. Should I not live my life because I *might* develop one of those diseases? Should I not live my life because I *might* develop some of those neurological symptoms?
So what if there has been serious illness in your family, it doesn't mean that you're doomed to develop them. You won't find anyone anywhere who hasn't been touched by serious illness in some way.
A good friend of mine died at just 27 of metastatic melanoma. A lovely girl I went right through school with died last year from a stroke. She was only 32. A girl I supported when I worked as a teaching assistant died the year before from cystic fibrosis. She was in her early 20s. They all lived their lives in spite of their illnesses. Stop living in what ifs and focus on getting what you want from life, otherwise you're going to end up old and alone and regretting not taking your chances. Only you can change your life
You're right, but the pressure around drives me crazy.
Jaquaia
01-10-16, 08:38 PM
We all live with pressure Selena, you need to find a way to manage it that works for you. First steps are getting that depression diagnosis and looking into counselling
I'm waiting to get referred, but I'm afraid the things won't work out.
By pressure I mean atmosphere at home and my busy schedule at work. This week I enjoy two holidays, but I'm very busy and each day cope with stress at work place.
Jaquaia
01-10-16, 08:46 PM
We seem to be going around in circles. We have been through this before; both the situations at work and at home. We have made countless suggestions to you to deal with both. What have you actually tried? As we can't help you until you start to help yourself.
The situation at home improved for a while. As far as it concerns my work, the only thing I'll get it's a little holiday in November. The only real thing I can do is to get a private appointment with a psychologist and so quick up the things...
Jaquaia
01-10-16, 08:58 PM
You could sit your mum down and firmly tell her you find her comments extremely hurtful and from that point on she isn't to bring your illness up and if she does you will leave the room. And actually follow through with that. It will eventually stop as she'll get bored of talking to herself.
Jaq and Paula are right lovely, you need to tell those around you. You need to get that appointment to get a proper diagnosis. You have to do this to help yourself and to find a way to get through this and to get some proper help.
I'm afraid there won't be any changes unless I move to other places...
There will if you stand up to these people...
Today is my mother's birthday. No hurting words, no pessimism...And she said that she is proud to have such a daughter like me. It was fine indeed.
Thats great to hear and how it should be all the time hunni
Absolutely agree it's lovely, but how it should be all the time...
I hurried to be glad. Today she reminded again about my horrible condition that could get worse.
These reminders make me feel horrible, feeling that I have lived my life in vain...I told her that everything will be fine, but my inner feeling is desperate.
But I'll be living with hope and fighting for better anyway trying not to think about the worst.
Jaquaia
04-10-16, 04:15 PM
You need to start standing up to her, she won't stop unless you do. PCOS isn't pleasant but neither is it the end of he world. Research it, learn about it, as you are making it into something much more then it is.
One additional moment...
We used to go with my mother to church on Sundays. However I feel need to go sometimes separately, I mean to a different church. She becomes very anxious and concerned if I did everything right, but I'm so confused, I really need my space to freely breathe and concentrate on different things, prayer including.
OldMike
04-10-16, 08:16 PM
Selena you really need to go to a different church your mother seems to be continually putting you down so you need your own space.
Selena, what do you think we could say? We keep on trying to support you, but honestly it's the same thing round on loop at the moment lovely.
You need to find a way to stand up to her and to your boss.
You have been diagnosed with PCOS - that's not a life sentence lovely. Read up on it. It's not a "serious medical condition" at all.
Today the first half of the day was rather sad and dull.
But later I've translated a notarial act from Ireland. The text was clear to me. It was "Statutory Declaration by Irish Citizen seeking "Certificat de cotume" for Marriage or Civil Partnership Abroad".
I've got confused by this construction:" It is not necessary or essential that banns of the said intended marriage be published in Ireland". The underlined construction meaning I've deciphered as "there are no impedments or restrictions".
Here the banns of marriage have to be published x amount of times before you can actually get married... That's what it means.
Here the banns of marriage have to be published x amount of times before you can actually get married... That's what it means.
Thank you, interesting traditions.
So "banns of marriage" meaning is actually like "announcement"? But where is it published?
In church, at the registry office
I've forgotten to tell that I'm translating two books and have more than 200 pages to translate.
But some managers try to put even more work and pressure on me, I like my job, but enough is enough. So I don't know how, but I've stood up to them.
So, my 2-week holiday begins from Tuesday and lasts till November 8. The guy who will replace me seems nice and I'm confident that he won't cause any mess.
But I'm pretty busy too: 2 big translation projects to finish, exam preparations and some medical appointments.
I will be glad to have more samples of Court Judgements on civil and criminal cases...
Thank goodness you're having a holiday!!..about time. Make sure you make time for YOU, and treat yourself to some nice times. And rest too. Have a lovely 2 weeks..you deserve it.(bear)
Erm.. It's a holiday! No time for work! Go out and do something lovely! Maybe go away for a couple of days or a weekend?
Erm.. It's a holiday! No time for work! Go out and do something lovely! Maybe go away for a couple of days or a weekend?
I think it won't be possible due to some family reasons.
Not even a night away? Doesn't have to be far...
Please try to get some 'you' time
It's SO important that you do Selena. Even a night away for a change of scenery!
magie06
23-10-16, 05:34 PM
Selena, I've just come home from a weekend away in Dublin. It was lovely for a change and even though I've had to take more pain killers than usual it was still worth the holiday.
purplefan
24-10-16, 12:39 PM
Why not do something spontaneous and get on the first bus you see find out where it takes you. Could be exciting.
I did that once in London and then just wandered around. I found some amazing places and met some lovely people along the way!
Thank you all for your suggestions. It is indeed a nice idea. If I don't spend much time on medical exam and treatment, maybe.
There's no point having a holiday if you don't stop working lovely!
Actually today my boss came to my office with her husband and another manager. She tried to do everything to minimize my work. But at the end she probably remembered that she needs me as a translator. So she tried to make me take 4 exams instead of 3, but I refused.
Another thing...they brought a radiator, but there is no heating system and meteorologists promise harsh frosts this winter, so I'm not happy at all about it...
Could you do the 4th exam?
Could you talk to them about the heating?
No, I've been working and working, 3 is enough.
I talked, but they just brought the radiator saying like " let's hope it will be mild winter".
Finally being on holiday, still have to translate some pages in order to get more or less decent October salary!
Another PDF translation file (127 pages), and preparing for exam, but actually I don't want to translate the next week.
Just imagine, this evening a manager tried to give me some files for translation, but I rejected her offer and didn't answer the call! It's my holiday and she hasn't insisted either.
Good for you, but sweetheart that's still a lot to do which you shouldn't do. You need a break too or you will burn out completely.
I just want to say I cannot imagine how I cope with all pressure, when I return to work next week.
One more guy has quitted company, he was a good colleague and translator. She also treated him not in the best way, I felt so sorry he left...
It's like waiting for a monster that will eat me up
Surely there are better jobs out there for you?
I've been searching. Unfortunately no.
Do you know why that guy left? Do you know what job he has now?
Do you know why that guy left? Do you know what job he has now?
No, but I guess the reason. He treated him rather badly, often complained that he hadn't done enough. Well, he is in civil partnership. He wanted to go on holiday with his girlfriend in August, but she said he has no right to go on holiday till December 15 (the date he started working for the company)...He wanted to get recommendation letters for exam, but he gave up. And he wasn't in fact a bad translator...
So, if he got another job, the jobs must be out there somewhere
I agree with Paula. There has to be other jobs out there if he could get one..
I don't know his situation exactly well, but I cannot be admitted to exam without her letters of recommendation. He gave up, and I really hope he is doing well.
Gave up? Or found something much better?
Gave up? Or found something much better?
Unfortunately no, at least from what I get to know.
Do you have an exact date for the exam?
Not yet. But I'm sure it's by the end of November or beginning of December.
Selena, you've been talking about these exams being 'imminent' most of this year. Surely any examining board has to say when they actually are holding the exams, and you should therefore know exact dates. The approximate dates you give us come and go without happening. Exactly what are these exams and why the mystery over when you're to take them?
Selena, you've been talking about these exams being 'imminent' most of this year. Surely any examining board has to say when they actually are holding the exams, and you should therefore know exact dates. The approximate dates you give us come and go without happening. Exactly what are these exams and why the mystery over when you're to take them?
That was the mistake of Ministry. Every time someone asked information about them, the secretary replied that they are imminent. They didn't organize the session earlier because of other reforms. Now that's already more or less precise date.
They are important because once a translator passes them successfully, he will be allowed to perform Court/judicial translations, and the wages are better.
I think it's madness to say that they are going to have exams but not give a date!
Unfortunately that was the situation. I think I have a clue whis these things happened - with general chaos around...
Hope the date is announced soon.
I enjoyed a walk in the park today. The house I live in is nearby the park and I go for a walk not very often.
But I have really felt happier and more relaxed today.
I'm glad that you enjoyed your walk. If it is something you enjoy doing it might be nice to do something like that regularly
Yes, and it has really become a nicer and safer place. I closed myself in the house (except work) for many years and now I've really enjoyed these walks again.
So glad you got out to walk. It really is good for the soul!
First working day after holidays today, a little anxious. But many clients and barely managed to translate today.
However feeling more relaxed.
Glad you're feeling more relaxed.
I asked my boss to take day off tomorrow, as the customers don't come on Saturday anyway. I'm tired and not feeling great.
Yesterday my boss held a reunion for workers. She puts a lot of pressure on us, and on me.
I'm translating a book and she wants me to translate day and night any kind of documents!
That's not normal.
The psychologist told me not fearing my boss and do just the amount of work I can take. And that I should be proud of myself.
But I and my colleague are still very troubled.
Your boss asks a lot of you Selena doesn't she?..and your co-workers! You can only do a good days work and that's all. And that is all she must expect. I'm glad you're taking tomorrow off. Try and get some rest.
When did you see a psychologist? I must have missed it... But they are right...
It is my new colleague. She has other duties, but she studied Psychology. But we are not working in the same office.
Ahh. Maybe she could recommend someone to help you?
I could ask her in general terms.
I'm worried about my health issues, but I expect to get a medical appointment.
Now for exam - I phoned the Ministry Department, as there isn't any official renewal yet, they told the exams will be held between December 12 - December 20. Well, a little time, and I'm a little worried, although I have been repeating (passively) all this time.
Despite putting a lot of efforts at work and not being paid accordingly, my boss keeps on spying on us, accusing nearly everybdoy of bad management and making pressures on us to work day and night. I have been translating since Autumn a series of articles and a book, and it's not easy work at all! I don't get what she wants. And the last one: she is trying to interfere into the private life of her employees.
That's disgusting!
And drives me to tears. And that's all gratitude?!
I don't want anything but to leave me in peace.
How to say firmlly "no" to the pressure from her side?
In what way is she interfering in their private lives?
For e.g, she says that someone should postpone a medical appointment, a meeting with boyfriend or family just to work more.
Or put a spying programme on job computers, that is why I cannot usually write in the day time during busy week days...
I think she needs someone to stand up to her!
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