View Full Version : Finally getting through it? *trigger*
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Aw poor Ember! And Poor you for having to clean it up!
Oh bless her, I would make sure she has plenty of water available hun and see how she goes
Must be something in the air, my Polo has been ick all afternoon :(
She seems fine now. Just eaten her dinner, hopefully it will go through her normally! I have really had to neglect her today, As I was so late up I did not manage to get her out before Dad turned up when he had gone I had to get everything sorted for the exhibition later and then get the place ready for the blind group. As soon as they had finished I jumped in the car and raced across town to the exhibition venue where I was setting up till 6:15. I then dashed home and cleared up the blind group ready for the start of the 6 week beginners course at 7. Managed to grab a peanut butter and jam sandwich before that started but only just finished clearing up. I have a kids class at 10 tomorrow....
I'm a fine one to talk as my dinner is still in the oven, but you really need to eat properly hunni. Can your daughter put cooking dinner on her job description for a while?
My mouth is too sore to eat dinner anyway tonight. I rounded the day off with a muller rice. Will have a hot chocolate with my pills in a min.
Maybe when H finishes and can do some of the clearing up and preparing I may be able to get a bit more time to look after myself. I have booked an appointment with a doc for Friday but will have to cancel. I still have not got that prescription made up and tried it to see if that helps and I can hardly go back until I done that.
Oh lovely! You do need to try to find time to look after yourself too love!
How is the exhibition looking? When does it open?
The exhibition is all up and looking good. I could not have got it up without the other girls help but with their help we were up in under 2 hours which we were told was something of an achievement. The show will open tomorrow. I rushed off a piece about us and when I read it later realised that I had made a mistake on it so I will have to rewrite it and sneak it in before any one notices!
Sounds like your all set to go hun, hope that the exhibition goes well for you, am sure you will sort out what you wrote x
J is moving on 29th August and just found that Dr T is leaving the practice at the same time. It will be all change. It will mean I no longer have a doc that I can rely on. Dr T was especially good with MH patients. He had suffered from depression himself as well as having to deal with the suicides of a close friend and his MIL so he knew how difficult it could be. When I had a bad spell last October and took an overdose I went to him and he dropped everything at the surgery and personally took me to A&E and stayed with me until he could be sure that they realised that I would abscond and try and finish the job if I was not closely supervised. I don't think many other docs would go that far.
He sounds wonderful, Hun. Can you ask him to recommend one of the other Drs in the practice, and ask him to go over what you need with that GP?
Definitely ask him to recommend someone else. He does sound brilliant.
No I wont be able to see him again. Last time my GP left I started seeing Dr W on the advice of the surgery she was OK but I did not feel I gelled with her in the same way. Anyway its not really a big thing I have not been to see a doc about my MH since Feb so I think I am doing OK.
OK? I think you're doing amazingly. If ever you doubt how far you have come, read back some of you earliest posts...
Phew another busy day. Slept till 8:30 so a late start. Emptied the kiln, glazed the contents and set it running again. Then raced up to a private school that was closing down and selling everything off. Got 5 sets of shelves, a white board, a load of paper and a drawer full of cookie cutters. It was sad though to see the school being broken up like that and the teachers having to supervise the sale knowing that they no longer have a job. The art teacher may end up doing some pottery with me though... (rofl) Some of them we quite mature and you wonder if they will be able to find another post.
Rushed home and ran a kids group. All four kids had been before so they knew the drill. The mums all helped clear up as well at the end which was fab!
Now to get the shelves etc into the studio. Not sure where they will go, I may regret this! (But at £13 for five sets of shelves how could I say no!!).
Sounds like a really good day hun x
You have repeat customers just a few weeks after starting up - that is truly incredible!
magie06
13-08-15, 06:22 PM
Well done. Another busy day, that you came through with flying colours. There's hope for us all!
Whilst trying to unload the shelves from the car Ember got in and refused to come out. It was "Right take me with you..." So I took her to the really big park on the hill and she had a good run. As it is on the side of a hill I also worked up a sweat climbing back to the top!!
The shelves fit into the studio like they were made for it so they have a good home.
Lol, Luna, who's 10, has started refusing walks. Who says dogs can communicate ;)
magie06
13-08-15, 06:50 PM
Well done you. I don't know how you have the time to do all you do. (Although, I suspect you don't spend as much time on here as I do.)
Wow! Another positive and productive day!
Maggie I do try and be strict with myself about the amount of time I spend on here or I could easily lose hours!
Looks like next week is going to be really productive with the kids stuff. I have a special group of 7 coming Monday, 7 on Wed morn and 6 wed afternoon, 5 coming Thursday and a birthday party for 16 kids on Saturday...
16????? Are you mad??? Actually I have no doubt that not only will you take it in your stride, but that you;ll be magnificent!
yyyeeesss I am hoping that there are lots of parents around to help! I am collecting yogurt pots to put the paint in so I can just throw them away at the end and not have to wash up! The party will be in someones garden it is a pottery and picnic party. I am thinking I may have to buy a sack truck before then to carry everything in and out!
With all the expected income next week I am hoping to break even and get to a point where I have covered all my capital purchases (excluding the building work, that will take a LOT longer to pay off!) and start to make a profit. (party)
I am really surprised that I can start to turn a business profit in 5 weeks of trading!
I have calculated that I will be paying myself £4 an hour.... is this legal? Should I take myself to court for not paying the minimum wage??
Had a brown envelope from the council this morning and opened it with some trepidation. It was my business rates. I was relieved and surprised to find that they have given me a 100% discount! So I don't have to pay anything at all. I was hoping that I might get maybe 50 or 70 but never dreamed I get 100!
magie06
14-08-15, 04:57 PM
Wow! What lovely news to brighten up a Friday. I really think that you are brilliant and obviously an ace at business. Well done and best wishes for that party next week! You're going to need it!
Thats brilliant news hunni x
Thanks everyone.
Hubby managed to get round with one and a bit coats of paint on the other walls yesterday. He has stopped grumbling about the colour I chose and is now getting to like it a bit! Unfortunately he ran out paint. I don't know if he is going to get more whilst he is out today or if he is expecting me to. I don't want to get another tin and find him coming home with one too as one more tin will finish it.
Feeling a bit low this morning. Although I had a complete nights sleep last night for a change I feel really tired and depressed. I have 4 things I need to prepare for the upcoming classes this week then may try and settle down to doing some of my own art work. Dad has asked that I make a sculpture for him to give to his GF for christmas. He said I could do anything I liked then went on to say that maybe a swan would be nice.... This would be a challenge as I would not want to make something that you could just buy from a gift shop but something a bit different.... She may end up with a rock pool as I want to experiment more with melting glass into pools like my last sculpture.
http://www.carantoc-art.co.uk/blog/
At a lovely idea :). Take it a bit easier today, hunni, you've been non stop for a while
Still not got to my artwork! Spent most of the day doing preparation work for next week (mixing glazes and slip) and then spending nearly £200 on supplies (Don't think I will manage to break even this week!).
magie06
15-08-15, 04:31 PM
Can you settle down this evening with a glass of wine and a dvd? Maybe even take a bath? Relax. Take it easy.
Try and rest tonight now hunni x
"rest" mmm I will have to look that up in the dictionary I am not sure I know what that means (wasntme)
Right now out with the dog stopping to get something for dinner on the way. By the way Maggie I hate wine so that won't help.
Hunni try and find some you time when you can this evening, I know being self employed myself it can be hard, as I am open 24 hours though not watching my Etsy or Fb pages 24 hours, but am there until late every night.
Car booted this morning. Tried to be restrained but did buy a couple of little bits for the garden. (£2.20) Spent the most on the mornings cakes! Two iced belgium buns for me and hubby and some bread pudding for the kids. H and A were out till 3 am celebrating a year together so I thought they might need something to soak up the remaining alcohol and help overcome the hangover. (Am I good to them or what?)(angel)
Walked the dog and seen the size of the weeds in the front garden so now to do some weeding (and sparying, I have a MASSIVE dandylion in the middle of the tarmac on the drive!)
I also need to unload the kiln and glaze the contents then reload and kick off again, think about what I will feed J later this afternoon and try and get round to some of my own art work.
I did get a little break last evening, I sat and read my book for a while then had a lie down and listened to Steptoe and Son on the radio. Trouble is as soon as hubby walks in and find me lying there he assumes that there is something wrong and he wants me to get up and do something.
Felt a bit like boxing his ears this morning.... Had another letter from the solicitors about getting the house on the market, or else. I have suggested a possible solution may be to ask S if he would let things be for a while if hubby and M paid a monthly amount to him, sort of paying rent on the use of S's share of the house. Or S could consider it as the boys paying his rent so he can live rent free as they have been doing, or a sort of extra pension.
Hubby sort of likes the idea but at the same time he still cant understand why he should have to pay rent to S in order to live in his house. As far as he is concerned he has done all the work on the house so why should he have to pay S to live there. His view is that S could have stayed in the house same as he and M it was S's decision to leave so why should they be penalised. AAARRRGGGG This man should have been born in the dark ages, he is so in the wrong era!!
You're a nice mum. I just tell eldest to make sure she clears up after her ;)
Failed today.... Stuff is still in the kiln and I am just too tired to do anything about it. J wants a cottage pie for tea. He has peeled the potatoes and made me a coffee so now trying to find some energy.
That's not a fail, hunni. You can't keep working 6/7 days a week. It's Sunday so I'm glad you rested
My OH encourages me to have a little nap so I don't get overtired; mainly because when I am out of bed I don't stop doing stuff. Maybe explain to hubby that you need the rest during the day sometimes?
Your hubby's actions over the house frustrate me too. But I thought you weren't going to help him with it anymore? Your hubby should remember his brother is recently widowed, that must be awful, he might need the money.
Oh I didn't rest... Been working on some of my own artwork. Finished off my butterfly pot and then completed the sculpting on a pot that has been sitting the mold for the last two weeks. Then I walked the dog.
They say if you find a job you love, you never work a day again in your life. Does it feel like that with your artwork?
Yes I love my job :-) My head is full of ideas of things to make. I want to have a go at making a rock pool, complete with sea urchins, starfish and seaweed and fill it with glass to melt in the kiln, but I need to finish off other projects first. I started making a bowl with swimming and diving otters round the rim but I am a long way off finishing it and it has got a bit dry so I will need to wrap it up in wet towels for a while. However with all the paying work I am getting I dont have much time to do my own work.
Sounds like that things are going really well!
Will be the busiest week so far I think. Had 7 utter nutters yesterday (4 adults and 3 children) and had a good laugh! Four blind this afternoon and have 3 beginners on ceramics tonight. Have 7 booked for the morning and 6 for the afternoon tomorrow, topped off with the art club. Another 7 on Thursday afternoon and then 2 on Friday afternoon, THEN the big party!
Thankfully I have H helping me now and she has cleared everything up from the afternoon and I am pretty well set for the class tonight. The great thing about this class is that they expect to get stuck in and help themselves so whilst they are paying more I actually have less work :-)
H will be a huge help tomorrow which is the killer day. Between the morning and afternoon sessions there is a pile of clearing up and washing up to do and she will do it for me now so I can concentrate on taking it a bit easier between sessions. Then of course there is the big clear up before the art club and now I will be able to leave her to clear up whilst I eat and walk the dog, I may even find time to do the washing up :)
This is brilliant, you've got a proper little business going, in just a few weeks. Look at you, businesswoman again!! ;)
Frustrating number of "no shows" yesterday. Instead of getting the £145 I was expecting I made £60. Did get some apologies and one person who had booked the whole session and failed to turn up has offered to pay although we are trying to reschedule for Monday.
Next Holidays I will insist on a deposit.
A deposit is a good move, I think. Other artists inSist on that, you're a business now not a charity
Well we have certainly hit the headlines today! After being told for the last month that the old derelict outdoor pool was being used as film set it seems Banksy and a number of famous artists have turned it into a giant art exhibition. For the next 5 weeks it be chaos here as we are expecting thousands of people to descend from across the world to see it!
Locals get first view at the weekend but I am not even going to try and get in, I am sure there will be lots of pictures around and I am not going to stand in the queues for hours.
Wow! Any way you could advertise there?
(rofl)
I dont think so... Even if I could I dont think I would want to
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-33999495
magie06
20-08-15, 06:19 PM
Wow, what a strange exhibition.
S deleted
20-08-15, 06:20 PM
I saw earlier the tropicana was being used for a Banksy display, although not sure many towns would like to be associated with Dismaland, lol
I think it suits Weston right down to the ground... (rofl).
I think it looks really interesting, I'd be interested to see it.
It does look interesting.
Alot the the buildings in Manchester have graffiti on them but these are massive pieces of artwork such as bird like parrots etc, and look amazing, they brighten up the place no end.
Yes Bristol did the same. Banksy has really opened up councils eyes to the better side of graffiti.
That is bizarre!
I loved your idea of make your own colouring book classes!
Not got any takers though, even though its free!!
Totally drained today which is worrying as I have the party this afternoon! Hubby upset me a bit, when I told him that I bought a new pair of jeans and they were a size smaller and fit just fine he said "you will regret it, you'll be back in the bigger size in no time" He is so useless at saying the right things... He is the sort of guy that if you asked does my bum look big in this he would say yes.
However traffic willing he is going to take my gear to the party and collect me later so I dont have the problem of parking and loading to worry about.
I'm surprised by that! I thought you'd be swamped with people wanting to take it up! Maybe it would sell as a class where you provide all materials for that one session as I can see people being put off by having to buy all the materials "in case" they like it and want to continue.. Does that make sense? Although then you would have to charge, it might be a different way of looking at it?
Congrats on the size smaller! :) It's always lovely when that happens!
Tried that. No takers then either.
Covered my new jeans in slip and clay at the party so they already need washing. 15 kids this afternoon, but they had a fab time and I had problems when it was time to go as they did not want me to pack up!
Sounds brilliant hunni xx
I think it's wonderful that you're making a business out of something you love so much :)
The problem is that there is so much I want to do but dont have time. Last night I was sat on the sofa making a plasticine zoo as prototypes of the new animals I want to make to encourage the kids. I also want to make some more bowls and vases, finish the "otter" bowl, make some rock pools, finish my fairy cottage, paint the bowl I made last week, work on the big mandala and make a nativity set....
and thats all without the "work" related stuff:- I have to call all the parents and try and get them to collect all the work, pack up a load of their work that cannot be collected till they get back from holiday, unpack and put to dry all the creations from yesterday. Make a list of the kids names and allotted numbers from yesterday, wash up the pots, cutters and brushes from yesterday. Wash the cloths and aprons, Make up another few litres of slip and mix up some more blue slip, Mix up 7 litres of glaze, contact the chippy to see if they have any more pickle jars I can have for the glaze, Put hazard labels on lots of stuff, Empty the kiln and see if the work from last week is ready to be candled, do the accounts, bank the money, make test tiles for the new glazes, sort out what courses I will try and run from September and start advertisng them, chase up the leaflet company about why they did not send out any of my leaflets and try and get some money back.
Dont get me wrong I am LOVING it, I just wish there were more days in the week and more hours in the day.
OMG you are snowed under, but you sound about the happiest for the longest time since you joined here and I got to meet you. This is hugely important.
Oh I so am! My anxiety has (mostly) gone, I can quite happily go somewhere like a kids party without a second thought ( although it did help that hubby came to help carry stuff) I have stopped worrying about the future and blaming myself for being useless. I feel I have finaly kicked this thing and I am back to normal. (I suppose I aught to stop using this site (wasntme) )
No you don't have to stop using this site, we have seen you come a massively long way on your journey to getting well, and you have done so well, we also love seeing your posts and how your getting on and how your business is getting on and how happy you are x
Don't go, please - it's so encouraging seeing the progress you've made :)
Its massively encouraging. I believe the first post I read here was one of yours Pen, and I identified with it so much. Knowing you can get well is so inspiring for me.
I dont want to go, I feel I have some wonderful friends here that I can talk and would miss the company if I had to leave.
You don't have to leave at all :)
You dont have to leave hun x
No bookings for tomorrow. While I need the income it will be quite nice to have a day to catch up on stuff and do some artwork.
Sounds like you could do with a day off!
Planning to have a week off the second week of September. I have not made enough money to go away (and hubby would not take the time off work anyway) so H and I are going to do a staycation in WSM and visit lots of places I have not yet been to (after all I have only lived here 16 years!). I have not been on the pier since they rebuilt it in 2010 so that is top of the list, I also want to goto Cheddar Caves, visit Wokey Hole to look at the new caves they have opened up this year, Goto Noah's Art Zoo, have a day in Bristol visiting some of the museums and galleries I have not yet been to and visit Tyntsfied House. If I get bored we may go over to Cardiff to the Art Gallery there ;)
I also want to blitz the house and finally get the paintings put up around the place, I still dont feel like I have really finished moving in yet and so I want to get things straight.
It sounds as though you have a good time planned hun x
Funny day today. Not managed to get any artwork done as doing adminy type things. Went down to my friendly chippy in town who saves pickle jars for me to see if they had any more for me and they gave me two huge boxes full!! (about 16 large jars!) I think I have enough jars to start my own pickle factory!! (they are great for storing glazes and slips in once you get the vinegary smell out!)
Still sounds like a productive day hun x
That's fabulous! It's always good to deal with local businesses!
Sounds great. But, Pen, love, are you scheduling in days off? You need to have work days and 'weekend' days
Sounds great. But, Pen, love, are you scheduling in days off? You need to have work days and 'weekend' days
No not really, there is always so much to do. I did try and stay away from doing too much "work" yesterday but in order to keep to the kiln schedule and get stuff fired in time I had to load it and candle it yesterday so it could be fired up properly this morning. Next week when the kids go back to school things will get quieter (at least for a little while!).
The chippy is great, the jars are useless to them but the owner does not like to see them just thrown away and is happy to give them to me for free, its a real find.
Just don't burn out lovely...
Just don't burn out lovely...
I'll try not to.
Made another investment for the company tonight. Since we moved in I have been using some old tables and desks we brought with us to be the work table but they are not ideal. They dont make the best use of the space and are not all the same size and so dont fit together well, so tonight I ordered 6 tables from ikea. They are only £14.80 each and will allow me to have bigger classes (something I did not think I would be in a position to do this soon!) so should repay for themselves quite soon.
I also treated myself to two rugs for my bedroom so that when Hubby finishes the painting I can use them to cover the stains on the carpet (which despite shampooing I have not managed to get out) and I can finish making my little nest up there!
I have my CMHT reviewing officer coming to see me this morning. I suspect that this will be the last time I am involved with them. I expect to be discharged.
S deleted
25-08-15, 09:38 AM
And you're happy to be discharged?
All sounds so fabulous! You really are doing brilliantly well lovely!
You're like a different person Pen (in a very very good way).
The others have said it, so I'm repeating. The change in you has been amazing, and I'm over the moon :)
She cancelled... She got stuck in Bristol. So another day.
Yes I do feel I am back to my old self. Actually thinking about dealing with CMHT is making me more anxious so I will be glad to walk away from it now.
Pen its been an amazing journey you have been on, and to have seen it and see where you are now is just as amazing and wonderful x
Just managed to get my dinner! I was running a bit late with cooking earlier and thought I had 10 minutes to eat, when the door bell rang and one of my students was standing there having had to come early in order to get a lift... so into the oven it went!
I have 7 kids in the morning. Someone has booked out the whole afternoon but I dont know if they are coming and I cant get hold of them. Tomorrow night I am doing a session of art out in the "field" at a local church which should be a laugh.
Wow you really are doing so well and sound so happy!
Phew what a day. Six kids at 10 this morning and no parents to help. Made extra tricky by one little girl not willing to anything herself and so I was running around trying to help everyone and as fast I went to someone she was "I cant do it" even before she tried. I must admit my bottomless patience was tried quite a bit!
The group in the afternoon failed to show. I suspected that this would happen when I could not get hold of her last week, trouble was I could not risk taking another set of bookings in case she turned up. Still, started to make stuff to sell at Christmas Markets later this year.
This evening took the Art Club over to my old village to the Church to do some drawing. I think everyone had a good time. Trouble started when we finished, my good friend and warden of the church was not well so had asked me if I could lock up when we were done. I managed to lock the main door which has to be done inside the church but could not unlock the other door to get out, so I was trapped inside trying every key on the set. Eventually I unlocked the main door again. I could not lock up and had to return the keys and leave the church unlocked...
Dad is feeling neglected at the moment, I have not seen him for 10 days and he always seems to try and ring me just when I have a group of people arriving! Anyway I will go down to see him in the morning as he wants me to book him train tickets somewhere..
Oh no! Have you told them about the Church?
I've loved your animals you've posted on FB!
Yes I told her the church was unlocked and she was fine. The church is unlocked all day on a Wednesday anyway and the valuables locked away.
Had a shock this morning. I got a booking through my website for a course I had forgotten about! It starts next Wednesday so I will need to use all my guile to try and recruit a few more people.
I think it's fabulous how well things are going for you with you business!
You are doing so well hun
Not a good day today. Have felt drained all day. So glad it was the last kids club today, I need a break and some peace to recharge for a bit. Dropped a kids fired piece. Its now in 8 pieces I am devastated, it was the first kids work I have dropped and I am so annoyed with myself. During the kids class I also managed to knock over a glass that smashed and sliced open my finger. Thankfully there were other parents there who were able to find me a plaster and clear up the glass. Of course all the boys wanted to see if my finger was still attached or if they could see it hanging off...
I showed the group Larry the Lion and now we have three lions as they all wanted to make one :-)
I am trying to decide at the moment if I should:-
A: Watch some catch up TV, eat chocolate and drink my Crabbies Raspberry and ginger.
B: Go and lie down for a while and listen to some catch up radio (and eat chocolate and drink)
c: Take the dog out
D: Go back out to the studio and carry on with the art work I started this morning and finish painting the hedgehogs.
E: Retreat to the upstairs studio and work on my drawing and watch whatever is on TV.
F: Put something on for dinner.
I'd say take the dog out for 20 mins then put on am easy dinner and have a break with the tv under a blanket.
Yup I second Rose's suggestion!
I had already poured the drink so I went for B (think) I have someone coming to collect stuff at 6 so I will walk the dog afterwards. I am feeling that either J can cook me dinner for a change or a takeaway may be in order. I am just absolutely shattered.
B was a good choice Pen. You sound almost apologetic that you're tired, I'm not surprised you're tired! You're doing remarkably well!
Well I do feel I should be stronger. Had a bad experience whilst out with the dog and came home sobbing. Locked myself in the studio for a good cry. Thought I would be safe from the kids but they discovered that the spare keys do work when the key is in the lock on the other side!
Oh it was just something really silly. Ember gets frightened of bigger rougher dogs so if they get a bit bosterous she tells them off, sometimes this involves a bit of teeth flashing and yelping. She never attacks the dogs just tells them in doggy terms that they have crossed the line and she is not happy. We met a family, mum dad and kiddy and a dog which I think was possibly a boxer cross and was quite young who wanted to play chase with Ember, she was frightened and told the other dog off. I apologised to the guy saying she gets scared of boisterous dogs and puts them in their place and he was very unpleasant about it and said that if she was that bad she aught to be on a lead. He was quite drunk, he had a can of larger in his hand and was slurring slightly. She has reacted like this before with other dogs and every owner has been fine, in fact some have been quite pleased that she has stood up to their young dog and put it in its place so it can learn a lesson about interacting with other dogs.
It really upset me though. Ember was not at fault it was his dog that was antagonising Ember, and in fact if she had been on a lead she still would have reacted in the same way maybe even more so if she thought she was protecting me . Ember did not go to his dog, his dog came to us, Ember was very much under control and would have just passed them by if his dog had not tried to chase her.
Trouble was I was tired and very easy to upset, when I came home all sorts of other thoughts had come up as well and I was missing my Mum (It would have been her birthday next week, plus the church we went to last night was where she is buried and I tended her gravestone whilst I was there). Also I was starting to worry about how hopeless I am really, how I hate people generally and why my son did not love me enough to sort out dinner without being asked. (all totally stupid, my son is a man, it would not cross his mind that he needed to do dinner without being asked!!)
Not stupid at all! I'd have been really upset too! Well done Ember for standing up for herself! I'm not surprised at all that you were thinking about your Mum if you have that many reminders and triggers about her. (bear)
Having a bit of a rest day today after yesterday. Got up at 10.30, had a leisurely shower and gave myself a pedicure, took the dog out, had brunch then got into the studio at 12:15. Sorted out all the stuff for firing and feel that I have a better handle on where I am with it all. Finished off my first nativity set and it is almost ready to fire after I stood it in the sun for an hour.
Sounds like a more relaxed but still productive day hunni x
I can't wait to see your nativity set!
Its nothing special Suzi so dont hold your breath (rofl) Have loads of ideas for making christmas decorations as well. I am booked to do a Christmas market at the end of November and so want lots of stuff to sell, both christmassy things as well as potential gifts. Larry the lion and the hedgehog families will probably go there as well. (I showed larry to the kids this week and suddenly we had a rash of lions being made. Still better than the elephants I will have nightmares for the next few weeks about kids elephants!!!)
The big day today. J moves out... Just been to pick up the van. His Dad says "right where's all the stuff" to which J replies "I've not packed it yet..." I mean he has only had three weeks to pack, obviously not long enough!!
H has expressed a concern that when J has gone that I wont bother with cooking meals so she has offered to cook for me 5 days a week (and I contribute a bit towards the food bill), this is fine but I will miss having meat... Also I have agreed on the proviso that she uses less ready made sauces. She is 4 inches short than me and weighs a stone heavier. We both fit the same size jeans but on me they are baggy and on her they are stretched tight! I don't want to end up the same way plus I want her to lose some weight as well.
Hope that the move out goes OK.
I think it's brilliant that H is going to look after you!
Sounds typical all the last minute hun, but it will of got sorted, am glad that H is willing to help out x
:s Could someone come over and shoot me please....
I think someone crept in last night, drilled a hole in my head and sucked out my brain and my energy....
Awww hunni, you have been doing so much recently it could be your body trying to tell you to slow down a bit and rest
I think Angie's right. Take some time to rest!
Spent some time catching up with some long overdue house work. Blitzed the sitting room and now it looks a lot better. Also got busy with the hammer and got some more paintings up. Took Ember down the beach for an hour, first time in months so she was a very happy pup!
Hopefully I will feel a bit more like doing some work tomorrow, although hubby will have finished painting the bedroom and I want to clean and organise that. Now J has gone I can move the blanket box into his old room which will give me more room in my bedroom.
That sounds like another productive day!
AAARRRGGG So close and yet so far.... Hubby is finally building my "clay trap" a system of settling tanks that the water from the sink goes into so that any clay that get washed down the plug hole settles in the tanks not the drains where it would eventually block them. I have been trying to get him to build this for me since May. So today he starts the work. Of course nothing is straightforward. The pipe that he has turns out to be old imperial, so we have to buy new pipe so that the fittings will work, then we cant find the right fittings and then having spent over 3 hours going from shop to shop and thinking we have it sussed, he goes to fit the pieces only to find that we seem to have the wrong nut.... So he has gone out again in the hope that he may be able to find a shop that is open that has the right parts. I am exhausted.
Oh hun its a pain when things like this happen, but am sure that you will get there with it x Try and rest ofr a little bit now if possible x
Oh no! At least he's doing it? (giggle)
Nothing is ever simple is it!!!! :)
It turns out the nut was not the problem my hubby was.... I should have followed my instinct and got more involved he was trying to fit a nut onto the wrong bit. However he did get something together in the end. Now we will have to see if it works. Feeling that I just want to curl up and cry tonight I am so tired and things seem to be getting on top of me. I spent several hours this afternoon trying to get the kiln emptied, contents glazed and reloaded and running. H would not help she was suffering too much from a hangover. Need to rehang the curtains in my bedroom, hoover up and get things straight upstairs.
Pen give yourself a break hunni
Struggling with thoughts of SH tonight.
Pen, why do you feel like SH? (panda)
I am just feeling so anxious for no reason.
Hun can you find something to distract yourself with ?
Could you go into your studio and do some artwork? I know its late but distraction might be a good way through this.
I think you're a bit annoyed with hubby? Maybe its more that you're annoyed than anxious?
I tried doing the washing up but that did not help. I was in such a state that I could not talk properly. I took a cup of hot chocolate with nutmeg to bed along with a lorazapan. At first I could not stop pacing round the bedroom but after 20 minutes the pill kicked in and I calmed down enough to get to sleep for a while. However the anxiety is back so I have just taken another pill to help ease myself.
There is nothing specific to be anxious about but once it starts my head can find lots of things to fill the gap.
I hope you managed some more sleep hunni x
How are you today lovely?
Zombie.... The two lorazapan are still floating around my head. Feeling very low and tired but I have lots of work to do so must push myself onwards.
Try to take it easy if the Lorazepam is still effecting you. How's the anxiety today?
Rumbling away under the lorazapam....
Have written the long overdue letter to the solicitor so at least I can cross that off the list. I have two classes today, both adult sessions but even so I could do without them :(
What's bothering you lovely?
Everything and nothing at the moment. What I really need is some time just to myself to rest but I have to work :-(
Just do the minimum, so do the classes, then rest inbetween. This is the problem with having your own business, its hard to know when to stop. And I bet writing that letter to the solicitors was bothering you.
Everything and nothing at the moment. What I really need is some time just to myself to rest but I have to work :-(
No you don't, not every minute of the day. You are not giving yourself any time off and you need to do that. I know that, when I do too much, my anxiety hits the roof. Please schedule in a regular day each week when you have time away from work, and when you do things for yourself, including some of your own artwork
No one can work 24/7 hunni.. You haven't really stopped since you started your business hunni...
I'm terrified this morning. Having had such a busy August, September is looking like its going to be very lean. I dont want to rely on benefits but I am scared that they will take my DLA away soon and I without the courses I will be struggling. Just read a horror story about ESA and Job seekers and I cannot do that again, I would rather die.
The world is such a terrible place with people starving even in our own country, I dont want to be part of this life anymore.
Sweetheart don't panic. If you are feeling like you might hurt yourself please get help - you know the drill lovely.
For every horror story there are positives. Hang on in there. Use the notes from Fightback and you can do it.
You're going to be fine - how many times in August did you get a last minute 'can you fit us in'. You'll be fine, just keep up the marketing.
Just had a traumatic conversation with my hubby after another nasty letter from the solicitor. Not been good all day anyway, had very little sleep last night and today I have just been struggling to get enthusiastic about anything. The letter from the solicitor just about put the hat on it.
Looks like I have 2 full beginners art classes on a Wednesday anyway. One with 6 people and one with 8. They only pay £5 each so just £70 if they all turn up but it should be regular income and afterall that is what the gov says is enough to live on anyway...
Oh and just to take the final biscuit H has been throwing up all day and her BF has buggered off with his mates so she is very low as well.
I thought your husband was dealing with the house issue?
Good news about the classes hunni!
Pen, you really must insist your hubby deals with the house, its totally unfair on you to have to deal with all that.
Thing is folks its not that simple. I am involved whether I like it or not as I am being taken to court as well. I have left it to him to deal with and his way of dealing with it is to ignore it and hope it goes away.
I really don't need this whilst I am feeling so low but if I try and talk to him about it I get a load of greif about how the house has always been in the family and his brother is living the life of luxury whilst he is working his fingers to the bone to keep the place going so that his brother can capitalise on his work. and of course as I am the bearer of the news I am the one who gets it in the neck, I told him again to put the house on the market but just got verbal abuse as a response. The worst is that I am starting to worry that he will go back on the drink over this. The solicitor has told me that if I side against my hubby in court that I wont have to pay costs, but if I do and we lose then I will have to pay the court costs. I am really troubled about this I am caught between a rock and a hard place. If I side with his brother, hubby will be hurt really badly but if I dont I really cant afford to find the thousands that I will have to pay. It wont just be the court costs I expect his solicitor will try to recover all the costs that S has incurred over this matter in the last year and I am expecting them to be huge!
Pen, what do you think is the right decision for the court to make?
I am not sure I know really. I can see both sides. This is the only home that M has ever had and he is not well so asking him to uproot and find a new place is not good it's a shame that his twin brother S does not spend some time with M helping him come to terms with the change rather than dumping it on my hubby.
Is it possible, rather than going straight to court, that a mediator is called in? It just seems so extreme between family to take it this far - or am I being naive?
My personal opinion is that your husband should sell. You don't want to upset hubby, but he has already upset you by putting this on you.
I'm with both the ladies - sounds like it needs to be sold to end this issue, but it seems so sad that so much money is going to be lost and even more sad that the family is being ripped apart by it...
Everything is building up on me again. The Anxiety is terrible tonight. Had to take Dad shopping and I was really stressed out.
Need to change the bed and finish tidying the bedroom before hubby comes
Really dreading him coming tonight
Am cooking my own dinner tonight but the knot in my tummy is so bad that I cant face preparing it
Still need to unpack the shopping
Dont think Ember is going to get an evening walk
Need to phone my brother about Dad's birthday party
Have a class in the morning and nothing is ready
Is it really any wonder you feel stressed out though? I mean, is this irrational anxiety or is this actually a really stressful situation?
I don't think it means you're becoming unwell again, I think it means you are under loads of pressure.
Pen, I wish I could give you a big hug (panda) and tell you that actually you're doing amazingly.
Also just discovered that half the clay order I need for the morning has gone to Ipswich.... (Two identical packages, sent together with consecutive tracking numbers, one goes to Bristol, one to Ipswich... work that out!!)
magie06
04-09-15, 06:53 PM
Oh dear, what can you do to fix this?
Absolutely nothing. Ispwich is the other side of the country from me so I just have to cope without it.
I just want to give you a huge (bear)
The clay is not such an issue, I have found that what has been delivered is what I need for the morning. The stuff in Ipswich is clay for my own work.
My anxiety levels have gone down a bit now I had some dinner and got back into my own home. Still got lots of work to do tonight though.
Pen, I know right now you are feeling rubbish, but hunni you are such a different person to the Pen we met when you first joined here. I am amazed at how far you've come and although right now you are dealing with anxiety and feeling swamped I just want you to know how proud of you I am. You are doing something that is amazing, you are following your path doing what you want to with your studio and teaching. I think you're awesome.
The things on your list will all sort themselves out lovely. You are under a lot of pressure with one thing and another - each one a large amount of pressure without adding in any of the others. Just hang on in there and start scheduling yourself some time out of teaching/cleaning/etc and just allow yourself to have time to "be" itms?
How are you feeling today Pen?
Feeling a bit off today Rose. Had two groups yesterday which picked me up a bit. Did the car boot this morning and came home with a nearly new dishwasher (rofl) bought it off our friend so we knew that it would be ok. Its the same make as my washing machine and they are now next to each other so it looks like I planned it that way. Hubby bought it for me and fixed it up. A had said that he would take on board doing the washing up, but to be honest he lets it pile up for 2-3 days and we only have a little kitchen so it gets impossible to do anything in there so I am hoping this will help keep on top of it.
How do you find these things? Awesome!
Finding the new dishwasher sounds pretty awesome, even better that it matches the washing machine!
Is Sunday meant to be your day off?
Yes (rofl)
The dishwasher is a Bosch slimline and would be £250 new so I am very pleased. Hubby has got it plumbed in and it is running great.
Had a nice peaceful afternoon digging up the dead lobelia, trimming the lavender, pulling up grass from my brickwork and planting up violas... Now considering walking the dog (poor girl has not been out today) doing some more gardening and retiring upstairs in the studio to do some drawing whilst watching either the DVD's of The Hustle I bought today at the car boot or the film The Imitation Game which I bought a few weeks ago and still have not watched. Although what I really should do is write to the solicitor.....
I have also scheduled tomorrow as a day off as well, I think I need an extra break, although I will need to get the kiln loaded in the morning.
How do you find these things? Awesome!
I sometimes think there is someone looking out for me....
I watched the Imitation Game a couple of days ago and it's an amazing film - I completely recommend it :)
Spent the evening writing the letter and watching Hustle, now to check the letter. When I opened up the last letter to check what I had written I was horrified to find I sent it with "Dear My Henry" instead of "Dear Mr Henry".... I am going red again now just thinking about it!!
If S will agree I will borrow £20,000 and partly buy him out to buy some time for hubby and M. Its a risk but hubby has said that he will pay me the repayments. In the long term it will be an investment for the kids so I don't feel I am just throwing the money away.
I shouldn't worry too much about that typo - you probably gave him a giggle lol
If you want to borrow that money then make sure you aren't putting your home and business at risk...
I dont suppose it even made him crack a smile, I think that guy had his sense of humour removed at birth!
I dont like the idea of borrowing the money, it makes me uneasy but whats mine is his so I will do as he asks.
Just had to have smile at the Staples advert that just came in on email. It was aimed at University students. The offer was for printer paper, £2.99 a ream - "Thats a good price" I thought till I looked closer, its only that price if you buy over 60 reams... Now I know I wrote a lot on my degree but I dont think I managed to get through 60 reams of paper!!!
Tried to have a relaxing day off today. Took the dog for a long walk. Did a bit of gardening. Watched some TV. Read my book. But the anxiety is back tonight partly as I am worried that I have so little booked in and really should have spent the day today making ceramics to try and sell. My forecasted income for September is pants and of course H still expects to get paid every week
I thought that H was helping you out for free, as a nice gesture to help her mum.
Maybe she could help you with your advertising?
No hope... I am paying her £25 a week.
Its not so much the advertising tbh, its the number of courses that I have scheduled. Quite a few don't start for a few weeks as people have other commitments until then to rearrange. Also I have quite a few home education and art club sessions scheduled but they only pay £5 for two hours so the most I can get from them is £40 if I pack them into the space and in the case of the adult art classes I can really only get £30. Adult clay sessions pay better but as they have a higher fee they are harder to fill.
Is she actually working though?
If you don't work, you don't get paid. If she doesn't work, surely it should be the same? Maybe an hourly rate would be better?
Had an inch thick letter from the court this morning. It seems S's late wife documented EVERY conversation she had with any of us since before my MIL died. She even documented what was said at MIL's wake. She has also documented things that have no bearing on the property such as that I have had MH problems. At this moment it is probable a good thing she is dead or there would be a line of us willing to do the job. :@
I have done what I maybe should have done a while ago and briefed a solicitor. She is looking through the pile to decide if she is willing to have a shot. She is a little surprised though that a: I am being called as a defendant and b: That a date has been set by the court without us having a chance to submit our evidence.
Good to hear - hopefully the solicitor will put the brakes on the court date and you can all work out which way to go
I didn't realise you didn't have a solicitor. Did you decide about the loan? I know you didn't ask for opinions, but I am really concerned about you going down the loan path.
£5 for 2 hours is an absolute bargain Pen!
OO I didn't realise you didn't have a solicitor either. Glad you're getting it looked over now hunni.
I held off getting a solicitor as I did not want to run up costs when I could not figure how to pay one. Now I have decided that if I have to take out a loan it will be to pay the solicitor! After seeing all this libellous stuff I am tempted to tell S he can go to hell and we will fight him tooth and claw. I still have not calmed down enough to read what has been sent but A went through it with H and they have found some bits that are frankly untrue. Most of it is so petty, like bringing up that a week after the funeral M denied that there was a will. M was distraught about his mothers death and she had never kept him in the loop about legal stuff anyway. Hubby and I were executors. and in any case this has nothing to do with the current situation. Neither is telling the court that I had MH problems and would keep running off and had a spell in hospital.
However if I do him in at the hearing at least it will help my insanity plea (devil)
I am just so knotted up about this I have not been able to eat all day (although I have just had some sweet and sour mushrooms and fried rice)
It's all just so sad isn't it? (bear)
I totally understand why you feel worked up, its a horrible situation and you are caught right in the middle. (bear)
Hubby rang this morning. I think it took him till then to calm down! I think he has accepted that he really does not have an option and I am hoping he is going to the agent this afternoon. The solicitor I spoke to said that we would struggle to prove a case but that she would take the case if we wanted her to but to be aware that the court costs will run into 30-40,000. I think this news may have been the final nail in the coffin for hubby. Of course the real issue is M and it will be up to him to try and comfort and console M. I did say to reassure him that we all loved him and would make sure that he was settled somewhere and not turned out on the streets.
How much? Blimey! I think that's a good thing that hubby has realised what has to be done, but it's horrible it's had to happen in this way..
The whole business has sucked my brains out. I feel like a zombie. I really struggled to teach this afternoon and I have a more challenging group this evening.
Oh hunni. Hope the evening group goes well x
It was fine. I had a crash refresher on perspective drawing before we started and that was what we did for about an hour and a quarter, then we talked about composition. How an artist makes a focal point and then leads the eye round the picture. Then I set them the task of composing a picture that they will turn into a painting over the next few weeks. (This will make life easier for me as I wont have to do a formal teaching session just help them develop their own work so I wont have to prepare anything!!) (rofl)
That's so brilliant! Well done!
Will hubby and M still live together? Will they move near you do you think?
Oh, and you really sound like an awesome teacher :)
I really dont know what they will do. I have my suspicions that they will stay together. No I dont expect them to get nearer, if anything they may move further away as I think they may have to buy a house in town and the town they consider as "home" is Monmouth which is 20 minutes further away from me.
I like to think I am a good teacher. (giggle) I certainly enjoy it, I love getting a kick out of showing someone how to do something and them getting it and producing something that pleases them when they started by thinking "I could never do that"
My old care worker came by and took me out for lunch and a catch up. As we were driving to the cafe we passed a pub and sitting outside where two of my Uni tutors having a pint and some lunch. If we had been going slower I would have wound down the window and told them to get back to work... After we came out of the cafe we were passed by a dozen students and another tutor from the college (not one of my tutors but one who I know) taking a group of nervous students out to do some drawing in the marina. It felt quite strange not to be part of that family anymore, although the tutor did stop and say hello.
Completely (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear)ed up this morning though. Slept really badly last night so did not get out of bed till 9. At 9:30 whilst still drinking my first cup of tea (and everyone will tell you I am useless until the first cup has been drunk) a customer came to pick up work. Whilst we were wrapping it in bubble wrap I dropped a piece... Just a few inches but it shattered. She took it away and tried to fix it but couldn't so she wants a free session as compensation. So kicking myself!!!
Just had three kids ad two mums here for an hour. At the end of the hour one of the mums said "I am amazed I never thought that in an hour we would build a house, I thought we would be just making fridge magnets or something!" Her little girl at first was "this is too hard, I cant do it" but by the end we almost had to prise her out and she was upset that she would have to wait a week to have another go. :8)
Do you have insurance against breakages? Is that possible? Hunni, don't worry, please
My insurance probably does include that, but for a £5 piece I suspect would be less than my excess :-) Its not the end of the world, I am just so (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear)ed off with myself for getting careless. Its not just that I have let my admin slip and so today someone came to pick up her pieces and I found that one piece had got out of sequence and was still to be fired which was really annoying.
Sweetheart, I think you need to have a couple of days off. You sound tired
I sort of had a break this week, I have cut the classes back a bit this week so just had one hour today and one and a half tomorrow. Got a one hour on Saturday morning then nothing till Wednesday so will get three days to chill. Tomorrow morning H and I are going to go up to Bristol to Hobbycraft so we can get out the house for a few hours. (and try not to spend mega bucks!!)
You are working so hard, with all this stuff with your hubby as well. I'm so glad you have some space and time to just chill out lovely...
Am I a really terrible mother that I almost wet myself laughing when J turns up on the doorstep this evening having locked himself out of his flat.... He has 5 extra keys cut, all neatly lined up on a shelf .... in the flat....
BTW if you hear a loud knocking noise this evening it is me banging my head after ringing hubby...
Am I a really terrible mother that I almost wet myself laughing when J turns up on the doorstep this evening having locked himself out of his flat.... He has 5 extra keys cut, all neatly lined up on a shelf .... in the flat....
OMG (rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
Poor lad, he was tired, thirsty and hungry having left work at 5 and arriving here at 8:30 having exhausted everything he could think of to get his keys from work where he had left them and we all could not stop laughing.
Awwww, why doesnt he leave a key at your house in future as a safe guard, I would of laughed to though lol
I was one of the intended recipients of the 5 keys that are in the flat he just had not got round to bringing it to me. (rofl)
lol opps maybe he will now remember to get you the spare key lol
Sorry, but still chuckling over this one!
Lol... 5 extra keys?!
What happened with hubby?
Poor J the rest of the company was going out to a company team building day, a teepee in a field, fire pit and bar he had to go back to Bristol and try and sort out his flat. Not even sure if he managed to get to the party that they were having tonight.
Hubby STILL has not briefed the agent...
S's solicitor has come back with questions to my letter which has just left me with my head in my hands. Too tired to reply
The kiln should be on tonight, its not. I have got behind with the glazing.
My blind group is down to two definite and one part timer... Not sure I can continue without getting more bums on seats. Really worried that I have upset the group and that they are not coming because of me.
I want to join the DBT group but cant as I have scheduled a course when its on and now it looks like I may get taken off the list.
Starting the home educators groups next week and not sure what we will do yet
Have kids coming tomorrow morning and not sure what we will do.
Electricity bill is waiting to be paid
Spent far too much money in Hobbycraft this morning
Need to find time to do admin, accounts are a mess, need to mix up more slips, make test strips and chase up parents of artwork that is here.
So the answer Paula is I am feeling totally crap and very anxious.
Oh sweetheart (panda)... You need to be working on getting some time each day for yourself. Admin etc starts to build up really fast.
I'm sure the blind group isn't anything to do with you in a negative hunni.. I think you'd be a brilliant teacher. Is it not something that H could be doing if you are paying her?
Done the accounts. The kiln is on. Rearranged the shelves to be able to keep a better eye on the progress of work. Ran a class for three kids and afterwards let the mum come back with her kid and remake the piece I broke (and let his brother make a little piece as well.).
Tomorrow night I will be able to do a ring round of everyone who still has work here and hopefully get it all cleared out.
Had hoped to find some time to do my own art work but it was not to be...
It will be, Hunni. This is all so knew and you're finding your feet. It won't be long before you have a routine that works for you and makes it go more smoothly
You will settle into a routine after a while hunni,
magie06
12-09-15, 07:15 PM
I'm sorry you feel like everything is building up on you. I really hate when that happens. I'll light a candle for you tomorrow when I go to mass. Good luck and try to keep your chin up.
You'll get your own systems in place soon enough lovely, let's face it at least some of it atm is trial and error.. It's a new business lovely, give it some time and be strict about the time that you put in to make sure you have at least a day off lovely....
Going to be a busy week from Wednesday but I did get some inspiration whilst having a lie in this morning about what I will do with the Home Educators art group on Wednesday.
Decided to skip the car boot this morning, too much to do and I have spent too much money this week anyway. I think I have about £5 credit in the company account and I need to order a load more stuff from the pottery supplier (Which will come to about £130). I will have to have a look at if the bookings I have this week will potentially cover this.
After I have walked the dog though the first thing I need to do is move the sofa and investigate the nasty smell that is coming from one end. I did find some maggot cases behind the sofa a week of so ago so I am a bit concerned about what is under there.
Phew moved the sofa and was relieved to find that apart from a collection of Embers balls and some dust there was nothing there. Just put the cover into the washing machine but I am scratching my head as to where this unpleasant smell is coming from.
You were so brave to move it and investigate!!!
I think it must have been on the cover as I can't smell it tonight.
Hubby has arranged for the agent to come on Tuesday and put the house on the market. I nearly messed up this evening though when I admitted that I have had a reply to my letter about buying a share off S so he thought he could get out of the sale so I had to make it seem less attractive.
Glad you can't smell it anymore. Hope that the valuation tomorrow oe s=sIK
Its my graduation on Saturday so I have been really brave this morning and had my hair properly cut for the first time in over 3 years. I found a place in town that would do a cut for £9.90 so I thought I would risk it when I went to pay my takings into the bank. I have a home colour here so I will dye it later today.
Came home with two warm cheese and onions rolls and two toffee cream doughnuts. Ember sat and drooled whilst I ate my roll then when she realised that she was not getting any of mine chased after H who shut the door in her face so she is sulking now.
Just eaten the cream doughnut. Ember is still sulking, all she got was a chance to lick some icing and cream off my fingers..
She was just at the patio window growling at something in the garden (a cat I suspect) so I opened the door for her to investigate. She rushed out realised it was raining and shot back into the house. Fat lot of use a guard dog she is!!!
Well done for getting your hair done and wow! Your graduation - for a first!
I know all about guard dogs lol. The kitchen fitter came to measure up last week and my 2 didn't even lift their heads to acknowledge a strange man in the house!
Storm just wants to jump up and lick faces, she has to be crated while we have visitors she is that giddy, and deffo not a guard dog.
Wow Graduation!! Have you picked out what you are going to wear?
No Idea.... I suppose I should have a look and see what I have got! It had seemed to be ages away and then suddenly its here. Trying not to think about it too much!
Are you looking forward to it?
Are you going to be in a gown and cap and all that? How exciting :)
Oh yes. I have booked the gown and cap and a formal photograph when I am all dressed up. Not sure how I feel, a mixture of excitement and fear I think.
Understandable hunni but you will be fine honestly x
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